Lebron James is taking his leave of Northeast Ohio, i.e. America's Gross Armpit, but before he goes he's donating $50 million to a STEM elementary school for kids who can't read good.
Obvious question: Why doesn't he donate $50 million to a reading school for kids who can't read good? Duh!
For all we know, these kids might already be adept at using a computer. Most kids, if they're any older than like two, are better at technology than I am, this despite the fact that I've used a computer quite literally every day of my adult life, both to spread my message of love and to satisfy my emotional needs, if you will.
Lebron James' new school is called I Promise, or something to that effect, which sounds like the name of the school you get sent to when you get kicked out of high school for drugs. It's starting out with third and fourth grades and will eventually expand to grades one through eight.
In order to qualify, you have to be behind on reading, per the results of some standardized test. Students are required to attend classes during the summer, to make up for the ground they've already lost. At the very least, this might cut down on crime in the area.
Funding for prisons is based on third graders' reading scores, so if this school is at all successful it could cause some prisons to be shut down and thus lead to further animosity between Lebron James and Michael Jordan, who, according to Hotep Twitter, has money in private prisons.