There's a reason why I haven't blogged for XXL since a week ago yesterday, and it's not because I'm a lazy bastard or because I was off working like a Hebrew slave at the BGM to supplement the box full of cut out copies of that XXL Raps CD I receive each month, which I then sell to a store that still buys used CDs, for pennies on the dollar. Which are my usual excuses. It's because I've been "let go."
I found out the other day, when my login stopped working. I figured there might be something wrong with the site, and I dug through my email to see who I might be able to contact. You know how the XXL website has never fully functioned properly, and they usually like to take three years between half-assed attempts to fix it. That wasn't gonna be feasible in this case, since, how am I supposed to spread my message of love with assorted people who can't read well anyway, if I can't login? No homo.
Come to find out, the reason my login didn't work is because they changed it on me, because they'd fired me. Unceremoniously. Via email. A couple of days prior. It may have been sent to a spam folder (because XXL sounds like the name of a pr0n site for fat chicks), or it may have been buried under a deluge of press releases from rappers who sit around all day emailing people. I obviously didn't see it before I fired off that one last post, about the sad clusterfuck Detox has become, and I'm thinking that's when they changed my login, in case I continued to blog for them for another six months, unaware that I'd been fired, and then tried to argue that I should still be paid for that six months, because I didn't realize I'd been fired. (Sometimes they go six months without paying you. Combat Jack can attest to this.) Technically, the fact that I published a post on March 1st means that March 2K11 was my last month there, and I should receive a check for that month, prorated to account for the fact that I only worked one day, and I probably shouldn't have. But I'm not gonna press the issue, even though I could use the money, even if it's just a few dollars. 2K11 for me is all about being the bigger man, both literally and figuratively, so they can take that four dollars and give it to the ESL kids they pay to rewrite news articles from other sites, who probably already make way more money than I ever made working there. (Though I learned recently, during that hilarious Twitter beef between Noz and eskay, that I made more money than Noz, and maybe even eskay, even though he had an actual job title and appeared on the masthead once or twice. I'd elaborate further, but this is a story that might have to be $old, not told.)
Indeed, losing your job is a bittersweet experience, when it's somewhere where you worked damn near pro bono, once you account for the fact that they didn't take out taxes, or give you a computer to use, or Internets access, so on and so forth. I could probably replace the money I've lost by increasing my hours to almost full-time (~40 hours/week, without benefits or anything) at the BGM, and I'll probably have to, since I doubt I could ever get paid to write for anyone other than myself ever again. It won't be the same as getting paid to do something I actually like to do, which really is the best thing ever, and I'm sure now the TIs will feel emboldened to commit all sorts of egregious bullshit now that there's no longer an underminey element in the mainstream hip-hop media, but what are you gonna do? I put out a few feelers (nullus), but apparently we're in the midst of a recession that really began back in the 1970s and will continue forever (especially if you're black), and even though there's a lot of people who claim to like my writing, they're all just other guys who live in their mother's basements. Fuuuuck.