The other day, in Barnes and Noble, I found the Smoking Gun's book, the Dog Dialed 911, in the clearance section for $5. I took a look at it and I figured I wouldn't bother, since it's probably full of shit you can read for free online, like Sack Beast's Never Drank the Kool Aid. Then I got to the part about Kobe Bryant date raping that white chick out in Colorado, and I was like, Fuck that shit. I'm taking this bad boy home, for posterity among other reasons.
Speaking of which, popular Twitter feed Weird News just turned up this audio of Kobe's accuser, Katelyn Faber, kicking her own version of Shaq's hilarious "Kobe, How My Ass Taste?" Sample lyrics: "I was in Colorado working at a hotel when Kobe rang the bell. Said bring me some towels then he bent me over a chair, pulling my hair and tore out my bowels." Roffle.