According to Last Week's Poll
Rachel Maddow used to be on the liberal talk radio station
NPR Air America, and now she's part of the crew discussing this year's presidential election on MSNBC, along with the likes of Keith Olbermann, Pat Buchanan, and Chris Matthews. I've been tuning into MSNBC a lot lately, both because I'm interested in the election and because I find all of the aforementioned fucking hilarious.
Not too long ago, I was watching MSNBC, and I got to thinking: Would I bang Rachel Maddow?
This was a pretty complicated issue. On the one hand, I've never come across a lesbian broad that I really wanted to bang. Er, one that was obviously a lesbian - not just one of these broads who makes out with another girl while she's out drinking. Admit it ladies, you want to do that shit even when you're stone sober. I say go for it. I know I'm not gonna think any less of you.
But I digress. Working at the BGM, I get to deal with genuine, according to Hoyle lesbian broads every now and again. (Nullus?) And you know how they are. They're fucking scary as shit. Especially the black ones, who all seem to have taken after 2Pac (anyone else notice this?) and look like they might pull out a knife and cut you, though
probably none of them could take you in a real fist fight.
The white ones at least pose less of a physical threat, which I'd say is one of a white woman's comparative advantages in general, regardless of sexual orientation. But still. It's hard not to get turned off when you see a broad who's obviously playing "the guy," especially when they've got their boobs all taped down and shit.
Last week's poll had to do with whether or not you would bang Rachel Maddow. Here are the results:
Would you bang Rachel Maddow?
- No (155 votes)
- Yes, but I would feel weird about it (29 votes)
- Of course I would (15 votes)
Which is about the breakdown I expected, though I figured a few more people might vote yes, if not of course I would. I mean, she's still got a vagina (unless she had it sewed up or something), and she looks clean. I don't mean to suggest that those are the only two requirements a man should have in a woman, but... well, you know how it is. Sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
Oh that's right, we're on the Internets, where everyone's free to pretend as if they never did any charity work. I'd say any black guy who voted a definite no on this one is probably fronting, given the caliber of white pussy black dudes have been known to run up in.
Rachel Maddow > any number of 600 pound trailer park dwellers.
Of course the correct option in this poll was, "Yes, but I would feel weird about it." I could almost see a vote for, "Of course I would," just on principle. But if you wouldn't feel bad about something like that, you might have some soul-searching to do. And obviously most of the people who voted no are just lying to themselves.