Not to sound like Jerry Falwell or anything, but I'm becoming increasingly convinced that this whole season is just some kind of covert, Trojan horse strategy to push some kind of gay agenda onto the 3 straight guys who still watch this shit. If anybody catches me doing any gay shit like typing about a guy's cock without adding a "no homo," hit me across the head really hard with a stick. It might be the only thing that can save me.
Sara's sexually frustrated--past the point of sexual frustration actually. She's aching. She's never gone this long without a bone insider her, even if it was her daddy's. So she goes out to a club and finds the gayest guy possible to bring back to the house. Dude doesn't even try to front like he's straight, but Sara's like, "No, I can change him."
MJ and Landon go to some hot chicks club and find one to do body shots off of. MJ mumbles some random drunken shit into her ear and they're off. They get back to the house and he immediately takes her (carries her, actually) up the stairs and into a closet. Dude doesn't waste any time, does he? Still, I'm not entirely convinced that he wasn't just trying to make some huge scene in order to prove that he isn't gay. Since Landon scored with that really chick, the burden was on MJ to do the same thing or else.
As soon as he gets done with her, she runs and jumps on the bed as if she's about to sleep there. MJ walks in like, "How are you gonna get home?" Then jealous ass Sara walks in talking about how they're making too much noise. She tries to beg for some money for cab fare, and Landon and MJ just make fun of her. I'm assuming they eventually did give her some money because she left. I didn't like how on the next day Sara tried to front like the bitch was ugly. That bitch was way within doable range.
So Sara goes and gets her hair did by a fag that knows the fag that she's trying to bang. (I'm assuming they all know each other.) According to him, that kid's definitely a fag. And I'd have to agree. No home. They meet the next day in the kind of place where a gay guy goes to meet people and Sara puts it all out there. It looks like he's actually trying to lead her on a little bit. Hmm... They don't call 'em queers for nothing!
Apparently, MJ is feeling a little bit guilty because of what happened the other night. Whatever. He calls up his chick back home and admits that he's "tried to test the waters," but the waters weren't as good as "the best" or some shit. It was the weakest shit I have ever heard spoken through a telephone. A girl would have to be from the South somewhere to even fall for that shit.
So Sara and Jason the Homo go out dancing and the dude does seem to be kinda trying to get on her. But they get back to the house and nothing really pops off. I think he tries to kiss her and she immediately realizes that by kissing him she was actually sucking another man's dick, which led her to call the whole thing off. If she wanted to suck a man's dick, she just needed to break down and stand around outside some truckers' bar just like her mommy taught her too.
NEXT WEEK: Landon might get it on with some chick from the job and end up getting kicked out the house. Let's hope so.