In the past, I've generally preferred the uptight, inner city seasons of this show (think Boston and Seattle) to the more fun and sun-oriented ones like Hawaii and this past season in San Diego. While nothing will beat those glory days of the mid-to-late '90s, I think from now on they should probably just stick to locales where the kids can rock bathing suits day in and day out.
I guess the idea at (B)MP has been to alternate each year between sex seasons (San Diego and Las Vegas) and angry seasons (this garbage, Paris). And while the sexier seasons have been ratings smashes and, actually, endlessly watchable despite themselves, these so-called angry seasons have just been fucking pathetic. Does anybody even remember what happened on that Paris season at all anymore? And that was just like, what, last year? I don't even remember most of the shit that happened on this shitty season last night.
Here's what we do know:
Landon is this year's proverbial "white guy who drinks too much and ends up doing something stupid," only he doesn't really do anything that's especially interesting. Those kids out in San Diego were fucking getting thrown in the slammer every weekend and raping chicks. That's what I call entertainment.
SIDE NOTE: In keeping with the angry, inner city Real World tradition, none of the chicks this year are particularly attractive. I mean, none of them are reppin' RW Boston Montana status, but if they're not going to be coming up with any interesting stories, at least they could show us some fine looking pussy. Speaking of which, has anybody here been checking out this new Battle of the Sexes Challenge? Man, holy shit!
MJ is just gay. He works out a lot.
Shavonda, I guess because she was dating that one sk8er boi and Landon tried to fuck her, has gotten it into her head that she's all that. Bitch please.
Karamo is such a big, confused homo. You can tell just by the way he talks about his new boyfriend Dorian and how he went fucking skipping down the street last episode that he's got this inner desire to just go straight flamer, but he won't because he thinks his whole hard rock steez is gonna scare white people, who he still hates with a passion. Because I can tell you now, he's not fooling us jigs. I knew he was a big girl from the moment I saw him; I just wasn't for certain that he was an actual fag.
Sara brings up the
fact lie that she was once a bulimic yet again to try to draw some attention away from Landon's little incident and towards herself and also to appear as if she's got some issues to Melanie, who's actually had some real problems, apparently.
Speaking of which, it turns out Melanie was born to a 17-year-old woman and her bf, who gave her up to foster care at birth. She was then adopted by crazy people, which doesn't surprise me at all considering that people who adopt children usually are pretty crazy. These are the kind of people you want on this kind of season of the Real World.
Willie didn't figure into this episode much at all. I did see that he went to a bar with the gang wearing a shirt that said, "Everybody loves a Latin boy." I thought that was rather amusing. No homo.
NEXT WEEK: Who gives a shit anyway?