White exploitation of the black man's ingenuity continues apace
Above is the cover of the new issue of Playboy, hitting shelves this Friday. It'll be the first issue of Playboy with no noodz in it, and the magazine struck deals with retailers like Barnes and Noble and Hudson News to display it alongside regular magazines, without that plastic bag over it.
Gone from the cover is the subheading that reads "Entertainment for Men," and inside is a shedload of content written by and geared towards women, including the following:
An eight-page-long interview with Rachel Maddow in which the staff of her show on MSNBC is celebrated for having more women than men, accompanied by several glamour shots of Maddow looking more like Ira Glass than ever but admittedly still kinda doable.
An article written by one of the girls from Jezebel in which she pays tribute to her IUD, which will double for many of us as an explanation of what TF an IUD is. Isn't that the one that looks like a very large fish hook, that you might use to catch a shark? It must prevent pregnancy by destroying your pussy.
And an article in which the supposedly 20-something girls from Broad City, Hillary Clinton's two main celebrity supporters (which I guess makes them the comedy equivalent of the Olive Garden), declare themselves proud feminists and joke that if you play an episode of their show backwards it's just them yelling for men to die.
No, this isn't an early April Fools Day joke. This really is what Playboy will be like from now on, at least until it goes out of business.
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You can imagine how I felt, a mere matter of days after I was kicked off of Tumblr and I had to make the tough decision to shut down RackRadar, seeing that the print edition of Playboy is relaunching as a knockoff version of RackRadar.
The other day, on my 15-minute break at the warehouse, I took a look at the cover of the first issue of this new version of Playboy, and I thought to myself the same thing Nate Dogg must have thought to himself on the set of many a '90s rap. How come this hoo-er looks so familiar?
It's like everywhere I go I see the same hoes.
At first I didn't pay any attention to the girl's face, in part because the picture was angled in such a way as to cause you to want to look at her crotch, and in part because I have a hard time looking at girl's faces, because they intimidate me. Even ugly girls. The fact that they're so ugly makes me feel bad about being such a shallow person.
I should see the value in all women, regardless of how attractive they are, but of course I don't. No one does, if we're being honest. We see this play out when a girl goes missing. The more attractive she is, the more it's covered in the media. Some girls don't get covered in the first place. Week in and week out, crack hoes turn up in dumpsters on the East Side and no one gives a shit.
I took a look at this girl's face, and damn it if it wasn't that girl from Instagram with the two different color eyes, Sarah McDaniel a/k/a Krotchy, as featured in RackRadar and many an edition of Secret Searchlights.
In other words, not only has Playboy ripped off my aesthetic, they're kicking things off with a girl I already featured. Can a nigga get a finder's fee?
I'm beginning to understand how Eric Roberts in the movie Star 80 felt, minus any teh ghey inclinations he may have had.
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It definitely is my aesthetic they're ripping off. I was pilfering images from girls' social media accounts before there was such a thing as Twitter, let alone Instagram, at a time when the only other guys who were into this shit were on sites that you wouldn't admit to visiting, if you knew what they were.
I was the first person to take that kind of content from the dark corners of the Internets and post it on a general-interest blog on a massive scale, and I did so at a time when—far from being socially accepted to the point where Playboy is willing to base the entire future of its brand around it—there was an actual stigma associated with it.
I lost followers over this. I dealt with people wanting to cast aspersions on me (all of which were true, but that's neither here nor there) because of my interest in such subject matter. It didn't matter to me, because what other people think is the thing that matters to me the least.
People would ask me why they would want to look at girls from Instagram with their clothes, when they could look at girls with no clothes on all over the Internets for free. I would respond that the girls I was posting were hotter than the girls featured on conventional pr0n sites, like Playboy.
I was right all along. Everything I've done has been right.