January 22, 2014
RapRadar is widely lambasted in its own comments section, on Black People Twitter, on podcasts and probably elsewhere for dickriding mainstream artists and ignoring talented up and coming artists. If Beats Music chose RapRadar to pick rap songs for them, then what does that tell you about Beats Music?
Beats Music is the streaming music service for people who don't like music. The only good reason to join is because you feel that Jimmy Iovine doesn't already have enough money, and you want to do whatever you can to help. You've already got a $200 pair of headphones that the New York Times says aren't even any good.
I skimmed one and a half articles about Beats Music just now, and I'm at a loss for why anyone would pay $10 for their service, which has no free version, when you could just as easily use Spotify and Songza, both of which are free, albeit ad-supported, and are just as good, if not better. It's not clear to me how Beats Music improves on either of them.
Full disclosure: I was once given something like three months worth of the premium version of Spotify, without the ads, for free, from DA Wallach from Chester French and a guy who said he was from the Illuminati, probably because they were trying to get me to install software on my computer to track my movement on the Internets, so they can figure out how I put together RackRadar and turn it into some sort of "startup" with unfortunate white slavery connotations, possibly in conjunction with Village Voice Media's Backpage.com.
I used Spotify for the few months before they cut off my free premium version and tried to get me to fork over my credit card number and what have you, because they must think I'm stupid. I found it to be madd convenient. There's nothing like being able to access every single song there ever was, save a few artists on indie labels that no one wants to listen to anyway, on demand. I was listening to things I didn't even want to listen to, because they were free. It's the musical equivalent of a Chinese buffet and/or a pr0n tube site.
They can use that last quote in ads for their service, if they want to. They already know when I can be contacted.
When my free Spotify Premium ran out, it was still back when you could listen to as much free, ad-supported Spotify as you wanted to. That was how I first started listening to Spotify, back when it first came out here in the US. But at that point I'd gotten too used to Spotify Premium, with no ads and the full mobile version, so I was just like fuck it. I went back to listening to a combination of music I either illegally downloaded from the Internets, or was sent by desperate rappers, or I just pulled up on YouTube, which is arguably even more convenient that Spotify, depending on what you're using it for. (Obviously, I wasn't about to pay for Spotify.)
Later they put a cap on how much Spotify you're allowed to listen to for free, which had the ironic result of strengthening my resolve to not pay for it, but it's since been announced that they removed said cap, the other day, clearly to prevent anyone with the sense god gave geese from signing up for Beats Music. Rdio, which was never as popular as Spotify and is running out of money, made a similar announcement a mere matter of hours later. If they're in such a bad way, I'd expect them to make a more generous offer. Is there any way they can arrange for the Vivian Girls to service me? I'll travel, if necessary. Or are they one of the indie acts who opted out, because these streaming services pay apartheid rates to indie labels?
If they paid better rates to indie labels, and therefore got all of the indie labels that aren't on Spotify and Beats Music to sign up, I might actually use Rdio. But I still wouldn't pay for it. LOL. But I'd still be supporting the cause, because I'd be subjected to those ads. And it's not like I could pay for it if I wanted to. I literally can't afford the $10 a month. If the artists I listen to only receive $.28 from me in 2014, that's $.28 more than they would have received otherwise. (And I be the TIs' cut was upwards of a dollar!)
Beats Music's one kinda unique feature, human-curated playlists based on where you are and what you're doing, sounds like a jank version of Songza, which is incredible and doesn't cost anything. Their other main feature, playlists curated by supposed experts, is the exact same thing they have in Spotify, and probably any number of other streaming music services (of which there are like 18), except more suspects.
Whereas the purpose of expert-curated playlists in other streaming music services is to get someone who knows what they're talking about to suggest songs for you, in Beats Music they seem to be part of the same nebulous, sketchy, double-dealing maze of brand partnerships in which, say, RapRadar, secretly owned by Eminem's manager, funded by ad money that's funneled straight from Interscope's coffers into their account each month via Direct Deposit, runs angry "editorials" about Eminem should be included in MTV's list of the hottest MCs in the game, even though he sucks now, probably on orders from Eminem's manager himself, as revealed in an email conversations I got my hands on a few years ago.
Spotify was supposed to expand the size of the (paid) streaming music market, and it plateaued a long time ago. Beats Music can't hope to peel any subscribers from Spotify's column, because they don't have a worthwhile value proposition to speak of. Hence, Beats Music's plan is to try to grow the size of the market for streaming music services by appealing to people who don't really care for music. That wasn't a joke, that really is their strategy.
There must be any number of people with enough money that they wouldn't even notice $10 missing from their account each month -- the same kind of dumbasses (and old people, especially old people) who still pay $30 a month to access their AOL email address. How can Beats Music appeal to this group of idiots? In other words, how can Beats Music create the streaming music service equivalent of Beats by Dre headphones?
RapRadar is obviously ground zero for people who like rap music at least well-enough that they've heard of RapRadar (which, for all of Elliott Wilson's bluster, isn't as high-traffic as some of the other top hip-hop blogs), but not so much that they'd know from good rap music. Other Beats Music expert curators are said to include Target a/k/a Tar-jay, the Walmart for people who think they're too good to shop at Walmart, which costs more and will also sell your personal information to the Russians, and Ellen Degeneres, which is what white housewives watch when they're at home during the day.
There's no point in trying to reach black women who are at home during the day, because if a black woman is at home during the day, that means she's unemployed. The only way she can afford Beats Music is if there's an Obama Phone-style government subsidized version. If the Obama Phone is a smartphone, which I'm not sure if it is (do they still make phones that aren't smartphones?), it could come pre-loaded with "free" Beats Music, through Beats Music's other partnership, with AT&T. It could include expert-curated playlists designed to keep black people mired in poverty, to the extent that that already isn't the RapRadar playlist.
January 21, 2014
Billboard's Hot 100 has become so whitewashed that it might become necessary to start a separate chart with just songs by black performers, so black people can have something to be proud of aside from the free cell phones we got from the president.
Last year, for the first time in the 55-year history of the Hot 100, there wasn't a single #1 song by a black artist. Black artists were actually more successful, at least in that sense, back in 1958, when the chart began. White people wouldn't even drink from the same water fountain as black people, lest they catch dreaded n-word cooties, but they'd cop a song by a black artist on 45. Because that was back when black music was still worth a shit.
The race of the artist didn't matter as much to the TIs, because the checks were all showing up to the same building anyway. I've seen Cadillac Records -- I know how this works.
You'd think that black people could at least take pride in the fact that we do well on our own chart, known as the R&B/Hip-Hop chart, and you'd be mistaken. That's what you get for opening your mouth without skimming an article in TIME magazine the other day like I just did. In fact, white artists also topped the R&B/Hip-Hop charts for 44 of 52 weeks last year. Tha fuck?
TIME magazine Person of the Year, music division? Definitely not black people!
Are there even 44 good R&B songs by white people in the entire history of the genre. I tried putting together my own list just now, and I'm stuck at "Careless Whisper" by Wham! and "Do for Love" by Bobby Caldwell ('90s babies, just nod a long and pretend like you have any idea of what I'm talking about), though admittedly I haven't had my coffee yet. And no, I didn't forget about "Blurred Lines." Shit, how could I?
Any chart black artists could dominate at this point would have to be a chart in which artists have to be at least as black as Beyoncé is (i.e. upwards of two-fifths) to get on it. A paper bag test could be in order. With technology, artists wouldn't have to send in a picture of themselves holding a paper bag up to their faces, like they used to do at HBCUs, which would be embarrassing. If necessary, I'm pretty sure there's a way to adjust your screen's brightness, using the "Control Panel."
I'm not sure what you would do with a Mac. I live in a house that costs less than a Mac.
This new chart couldn't just be a chart based on the kind of music it is. Not if white people somehow managed to dominate a chart that's called the R&B/Hip-Hop chart. What's next, Macklemore on the cover of The Source, declared man of the year, looking like an extra from Fiddler on the Roof? Uh, never mind.
Someone could write a letter to Billboard explaining that songs like "Thrift Shop," "Royals" by Lorde, oh and especially "Same Love" (perhaps we could get Lord Jamar to write this letter, for lulz purposes) don't belong on a Hip-Hop chart, but the time for that kind of activism was 10 years ago, when I tried to have Kanye West banned from the Grammys, on the grounds that he doesn't write his own lyrics, and that's not allowed in hip-hop.
It just goes to show what happens when you don't have any standards for your music and how it's presented in the media. First it's just a guy who's not even a real rapper winning an award for being the best rapper, and the next thing you know we're living in a bizarro world in which the president is black, the best twerk videos are made by white chicks, and a black man can't sing an R&B song good enough to go to #1 for one week out of the entire year. I wouldn't believe it myself, if I didn't watch the whole thing unfold in real time.
10 years ago, we were in the exact opposite of the position we're in now. Every song that hit #1 on the Hot 100 in 2004 was by a black artist. I don't have that year's R&B/Hip-Hop charts handy, and I don't research these posts, but I'm sure it was just as suspicious-looking. This was the tail end of the glory days of hip-hop as world-conquering cultural phenomenon, of turning on MTV at three in the afternoon to be greeted by some high-gloss black softcore pr0n flick masquerading as a music video.
Rappers, in those days, would remark that hip-hop, which once seemed like a fad, was clearly here to stay. Little did they know. Fast forward 10 years, and the whole thing is kaput: the songs are all made by white people; the clothing lines have been sold off to the Chinese; Marc Ecko and the guys from Rawkus are running spam-based arbitrage businesses on the Internets; both NY hip-hop stations are run by guys who aren't even from New York, who live to diss NY artists and then play garbage music from elsewhere. Don't even get me started on Rap Genius.
As Peter Fonda said to Dennis Hopper towards the end of Easy Rider, before they got clipped on the highway by that redneck (spoiler alert from 1969), we blew it. We had the opportunity to stay at that commune, metaphorically speaking, and make sweet, passionate love to a young but not particularly fresh-looking Toni Basil (of "Mickey" fame) and Karen Black (who I think died recently), but we decided to continue on, allowing the radio to become overrun with LCD rap, and this is what has resulted.
January 20, 2014
"We have sown the wind. He is the whirlwind." -- A proud Native American (Is there any other kind?)
Prompted by a recent episode of HuffPost Live, an editorial in the Washington Post the other day sorta kinda called for the death of World Star Hip Hop, on the grounds that it helps perpetuate black stereotypes.
This has me concerned, because without World Star where would I find videos of black chicks beating the shit out of each other for no apparent reason?
I might have to take my cell phone down to the hood and try to record my own hoodrat brawls, and I don't want to have to run that risk. It's a well known fact that cell phones don't get good reception in the hood, despite the fact that hood areas are often directly adjacent to the city center. What if something bad were to happen to me, and I couldn't get 5-0 on the line?
I'd venture to guess that I can take anywhere from five to about eight women, even if they're "strong for a woman." There's a difference between being strong for a woman and being able to open up a rusty jar of pickles. It's that extra strength you get in your wrist from many a lonely night spent, and one day it could come in handy.
Ironically, women could prevent the buildup of said strength by coming and putting their mouth on me, as I requested. Emphasis on could. Sometimes people just don't know what's good for them.
I kid women.
But if you notice, hoodrat brawls that start out with a small handful of people, like the infamous Sharkeisha video, will all of a sudden balloon into huge block parties, hoodrats seemingly materializing from the ether in areas that seemed completely bombed out and desolate moments prior. I'm blind out of my right eye, and I don't want to run the risk of having my head split open to the white meat like that kid in Chicago back when I was with XXL. Lord knows I have enough problems.
I'm not sweating getting beat up by any guys, because as revealed in any number of hoodrat brawl videos on World Star, black guys in the hood have never gotten along better than they do in 2014. You'll never see a group of guys come together with such a solidarity, and a richness of spirit, as when they gather to watch two black chicks try to pull each others weaves out. Hoodrat brawls serve the same purpose in the hood as sports in suburban high schools.
Obviously the murder rate in some of our shittier areas doesn't bear this out (though I heard Chicago is soft now) -- they can't be getting along that well, if there's still so many killings -- and I'm thinking that must be because brothers in the ghetto only get along that well when the girls are beating each other up.
The key, then, would be to purposely start a fight between two girls, to deflect attention from yourself. I can't imagine it would be more difficult than going up to one girl and telling her that the other girl said something was wrong with her weave. There can't be a situation in which there isn't something wrong with a hoodrat's weave, because there's always something wrong with weave. Weave itself is wrong, and even the most expensive of weaves -- which cost about as much as an entire block in the hood -- still look kinda silly.
You might also consider trying to make one jealous by propositioning the other one. Hoodrats are constantly fighting over men, because there's comparatively so few men in the ghetto, due to the prison-industrial complex, and the few that are left aren't worth a shit. The closest thing there is to a high-status man is the one guy who graduated from community college and got a job reading gas meters or some shit. That guy gets all the pussy, and that's why STDs are so rampant amongst black women.
One of the things that I've noticed, living in a marginal area, due to some personal failings, is that I get the occasional hood chick sweating me, not because I have anything at all worthwhile to offer society, but because my mom still buys me expensive mall clothes, at the ripe old age of 32, lest one of her friends see me looking homeless, and I have a certain unwarranted superior attitude that comes from growing up in the suburbs, which scans as confidence but is actually the exact opposite of confidence.
Hoodrats can sniff out a guy whose father had a job with a dental plan. They aren't necessarily attracted to guys like that, but they think we can easily be duped into taking their kids to McDonald's. It's a moot point for me, personally, because I'm not even taking myself to McDonald's as often as I'd like. But if you've read this far into this essay, chances are you fall into a similar category. You're a reader, and someone who knows how to read is a hot commodity in the ghetto. Any hoodrat who pretends to not want you is lying through her damn teeth.
Indeed, I think the problem that a lot of hashtag activists have with World Star is that it's letting the world know a little bit more about hoodrats than they would have liked. Having pushed a broom in a lower class white area for the past few years, I can't even claim to know any hoodrats personally, and yet I feel like I know more about them than the crocodile hunter Steve Irwin knew about stingrays -- and with half the risk.
Before World Star, black women could claim to be under siege by black men, and the world would have no choice but to believe them, because how could we know? In retrospect, it seems unlikely that black men could do that much damage to black women, when there's so few of them. How is it that black men are supposedly being so disrespectful to black women, and yet fat white chicks can't spend enough money on no account black men, in hopes that a brother will break them off a piece of that black dingaling for their thangy thang? The facts don't seem to add up. These girls wish black guys were laying hands on them.
What these World Star videos reveal is that no one is laying hands on hoodrats except other hoodrats. They are in fact under siege, but it's not by anyone other than their damn selves. If there's a black guy around, all he's doing is watching, filming and chuckling to himself.
One of the girls in the Puffed Hoes "Perspectives" Roundtable (a/k/a HuffPost Live) tried to claim that this is still somehow the black men's fault, but in the few minutes of it that I did end up watching -- running the risk of crashing my computer, and thus losing the coveted, not sufficiently backed up RackRadar Archive -- she didn't do a very good job of explaining how this is the case, probably because she couldn't, and that's why she got so angry, prompting Rhymefest (who's apparently emerged from his diabetes coma) to yell, "WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY?" That really happened.
I'm no Ph.D, like the girl on the panel, but I have seen many films set in college dorms, and it seems to me that if she spent that much time in school, and she's having such a hard time explaining how this is the black man's fault, it's probably because it's not the black man's fault. If black chicks keep beating the shit out of each other, it's not the fault of the guy filming it, unless he purposely egged them on to distract attention from himself, and pretending otherwise only serves to exacerbate the problem. She's arguably doing them more of a disservice than I am, and I haven't even been down there yet!
January 17, 2014
Parents of kids in a school here in the STL are pissed because the school had to go into lockdown mode for 40 minutes after someone from the local TV news conducted an experiment to see how long he could walk around inside the school without tripping some sort of an alarm.
Security at the school, if there is security at the school, never did notice the guy. He made his way to the school office, where he explained who he was and what he'd just done, and he left a business card with his cell on it. Before leaving, he asked which way was the bathroom, and then proceeded to walk in the opposite direction, at which point the secretary called the school resource officer.
The cop or whoever couldn't get the guy to pick up his cell, to confirm that he really was from the local TV news, conducting an investigation. The school's communication director tried calling the local TV news to see if this guy really worked there, and if this really was a story they were working on. They wouldn't say one way or the other, probably because they didn't want to ruin what was becoming such a sweet scoop.
At that point, the school went into lockdown mode. Kids were instructed to get down on their knees along the walls so the room would appear to be empty, in case the shooter was that stupid. Some kids claimed they really did think they were about to die. I guess for what it's worth, none of us can claim to know what it's like to grow up at a time when school shootings are viewed as a given.
A lot of the same probably-BS stories are emerging in the wake of this incident. One teacher supposedly declared that she was willing to throw herself in front of the bullets to save her classroom, like the chick supposedly did at Sandy Hook, if necessary. One kid claims he was given a pair of scissors and told that if the guy enters the room, he should try to stab him. I'm so not making this up.
Parents are actually more upset with the TV news for sending the guy in than they are with the school for allowing some shit like this to happen in the first place. (Click through to check the litany of angry tweets.) I mean, I could see if the guy actually showed up in a trench coat, with Public Enemy-style fake uzis, and perhaps his hair dyed orange. Which to me would have been better journalism.
One of the very few perks of being an adult is that you don't have to sweat falling victim to a school shooting. I wouldn't have finished college in the first place, if I hadn't been lied to, and I'm definitely not going back for an advanced degree. Fuck education.
I have neither the means to provide for a child nor a woman I could trick into allowing me to impregnate her without it becoming "an issue," so it doesn't matter to me as much what happens in schools. It's not that I don't care if schools get shot up -- I'm officially against school shooting -- it's just that I don't care as much as I would if I were there or if my kids were there.
Basically, I feel about schools the same way white people feel about the black community. If this is a problem for them, they can send me back whatever amount I'm compelled to contribute to public schools each year. I just got the receipt for my 2K13 property taxes in the mail yesterday, and it's amazing to think how much money I'll end up shelling out for other people's kids' educations over the course of a lifetime -- even my probably truncated lifetime.
These people should only ever thank me.
I finished high school right when school shootings were starting to heat up, and that's gotta be on the list of the best things that ever happened to me, up there with the time I got that Outlaw Burger and a new pair of shoes in the same week. I was the exact same age as the kids who shot up Columbine, and I remember we only had maybe like two weeks left of high school. I was definitely done learning whatever I'd learn in high school.
That was one of the things commentators brought up back during the days and weeks following Columbine: Why would they bother shooting up the school, when they only had a few weeks left? They could have just waited it out and gone on with their lives. Of course the flip side of that is that, if shooting up the school is the main thing you want to do with your life, that means you've only got two weeks left. You'd better get that plan in motion.
If some kids leave early, because their parents got a deal on a resort down in Cozumel, or they weren't gonna have enough credits to graduate anyway, so why bother, that's less potential victims. Columbine was the first really successful school shooting. There'd been a few leading up to it, over the course of the late '90s, but they didn't have their maps, weapons, strategy and what have you as well planned out. Even the mighty Columbine probably could have been better-timed, and has since been eclipsed. It's no mere coincidence that the top school shooting to date was pulled off by an Asian.
The same day Columbine was shot up, that afternoon, a kid supposedly heard some other kids in the parking lot of the school I went to talking about how they were gonna pull their own school shooting -- though they may have just been talking about Columbine. The next day, I get to school, a few minutes late as per usual, and the door I usually went into was locked. Several other doors were locked, and I ended up having to walk all the way to the other end of the school, by the gymnasium, to get in. I should have just gone home.
I get in there, and they've got cops walking around, people getting wanded with metal detectors as if they were about to get on a plane, dogs sniffing people's lockers... Those dogs must not have been trained to sniff drugs. There had to have been drugs all over the place in that school. And I wonder how a dog can be trained to sniff out a gun. Maybe the purpose of the dog was to run up and bite someone in the nuts if they pulled out a gun and started shooting. Even if they dog ended up getting shot, it can easily be replaced. The city has an entire facility filled with dogs people don't want. If you disagree, go adopt them all or STFU!
That's the kind of thought-powered cost savings I can get behind, and I might write a brief letter explaining as much to include with my next property tax bill. They aren't just euthanizing these dogs and tossing them in a dumpster out back, where the Chinese might be able to get to them, are they? I know 5-0 used to use a lot more dogs back during the civil rights era. I've seen the pictures. Though as Malcolm Gladwell explains in his latest, the controversial David and Goliath, if you look at the picture a certain way, the officer appears to be assisting the man in removing the dog's clenched teeth from his genitals. How the dog got there is neither here nor there.
It turns out that the mass-shooting threat was some ol' bullshit, and the next day they had all of the doors back open. Which was perfect for me, because I liked to sit in my car listening to Stern and not show up to class until the latest point at which it wouldn't go on your "permanent record." LOL. But I guess schools have since gone to this system where you can only enter through one door, and even that one you have to press a buzzer and explain to a fake cop why you're there, like a girls college dorm where there's been "an incident."
This seems like BS to me, since these school shootings are (literally) always committed by crazy-looking, possibly autistic white and sometimes Asian kids who are probably just upset that they can't get any stank on their hanglow, and they'd be able to get into the school anyway. They've got ID. You'd have to spend every day of your life in an environment as toxic as a public high school to want to pull a school shooting in the first place. Anyone there who's not a student is probably just there to help, as was the case with the guy from the TV news.
January 16, 2014
"Don't you want to hear my excuse? I'm thinking about trying out for a scholarship." -- John Bender
The irony of Juicy J giving a twerking scholarship to a girl who didn't make a twerk video is that no one at the bank will ever believe that she's not a stripper. Not only does she have ginormous cans, she's cashing a check signed by a guy named Juicy J.
The tragedy is that it might deter girls from entering future twerking scholarship contests, which I'm sure there definitely will be, if they're just gonna give the prize money to a girl who didn't even twerk. I imagine some girls will make twerk videos, and some girls will make videos trying to explain why they actually need the money. The latter will be useless to me, personally, and will only clog up search results for twerk videos on YouTube, making my "job," to the extent that I can be said to have a job, that much more difficult.
Thanks a lot, Juicy J!
While I'm sure there will be future twerking scholarship contests, because it's the best idea we've come up with as a society so far this decade, I bet they're all like this Juicy J contest, in that it's not a twerk video contest per se. When it was first annouced, on Juicy J's Twitter (nullus), he specifically said that he'd be giving $50,000 to the girl who could make the best twerk video. The whole point of the contest, aside of from Juicy J's personal commitment to higher education, was to promote some song he had out about how he was gonna help put a girl through college, because she was so good at twerking dat ass.
In retrospect, Twitter probably wasn't the best place to make such an announcement. Especially during the day, when people who work for a living might be on it. Hoodrat hashtag activists caught wind of it, sparking a debate about whether or not teenage girls should make twerk videos for a 40 year-old man, for a chance to win some money to go to college. MSNBC's Melissa Harris Perry, America's foremost public intellectual, had on a girl who was paying her way through school by doing something strange for some change. She said she was entering the Juicy J contest. Melissa Harris Perry said that twerking scholarship contests are "empowering" for women. Not everyone on the Internets agreed, if you can imagine.
Juicy J's handlers had him delete the initial series of tweets in which he announced the contest, and it wasn't until a few days later that an official announcement was up on -- where else? -- World Star, with the fine print about how you didn't have to make a twerk video to win the contest, all you had to do was make a video less than five minutes long explaining why you deserve $50,000 to go to college. Fortunately, it doesn't seem like anyone other than this girl actually read the rules. Or if they did, they figured they were probably still better off making a twerk video. This was, after all, a contest put on by a guy named Juicy J, to promote a song about throwing money at women in a strip club.
I happen to know for a fact that a lot of white chicks entered this contest (I was the other winner, in a sense), and I didn't see where a single one of them made a video explaining what they planned to do in college and why they needed the money. Read into that what you will.
Based on the sequence of events, we can surmise that Juicy J himself probably came up with the idea for the contest, in a marketing meeting with the TIs at his label, and they were like, "Yeah, that's a great idea, Juicy J!" Then, when he actually went through with it, they had someone draw up the fine print where it says that you're not required to do anything sexual to enter, just in case it's illegal to solicit for twerk videos in exchange for a college scholarship. I don't see why it would be, if the girls are all of age, but it's not like the label has any way of telling one way or the other. You can't just measure the length of the girl's teeth. That kind of forensic analysis was rendered inaccurate by the Little Lupe Fuentes obscenity trial, as discussed on RT a few years ago.
While I would have liked to see a girl who sent in a twerk video win the scholarship, and while that was the only fair thing to do, it was probably in Juicy J's best interest to award a girl who looks like she might actually be in college, and could use the money. It wasn't gonna win him any points with hoodrat hashtag activists, because there isn't an imaginable scenario in which they wouldn't have found a way to complain (indeed several of them have found fault with giving it to the girl who won), but he'll get more press for giving it to a girl who didn't twerk, which was the whole point here anyway, and it spares him a lot of the fallout from if he'd actually given it to a girl who did twerk.