ByronCrawford.com

Pig On Pig Crime!

In a strange, tragic, and kinda funny twist of fate, an off-duty cop in the Bronx was apparently drunk off his ass, pointed a gun at an on-duty cop and got his ass popped. Nullus. Anyway, supposedly he was holding at gunpoint a dude that assaulted him in a White Castle, when the second police officer rolled up on him and told him to drop his gun. Now being intoxicated, our friend Eric Hernandez decided to aim at the on-duty officer.

The funniest thing about this whole ordeal is the way the article describes it as a "tragedy" and "a stunning case of mistaken identity". What the hell? So if you knew he was a cop it would be cool for him to be drunk and armed and pointing a gun at you? Picture it: "Eric is that you? Whassup dude! Naw naw don't worry about it, go ahead and shoot that dude and we'll say he was on PCP." I mean seriously if the dude wasn't a cop there's no way they'd be all "remorseful". He'd just be a drunk dude that got shot up.

New York Daily News sez:
" A drunken off-duty cop holding a man at gunpoint outside a Bronx White Castle was shot three times by a veteran officer in a stunning case of mistaken identity yesterday, police and hospital sources said.  "Drop the gun! Drop the gun!" the uniformed cop yelled, repeating the warning a third and fourth time before firing and gravely wounding Officer Eric Hernandez. The cops who confronted Hernandez, 24, a star running back on the NYPD football team, had no idea the victim was a member of the force until paramedics found the rookie's badge while treating him in an ambulance, sources said. Mayor Bloomberg called the shooting a tragic accident, saying many unanswered questions remained about the early-morning mayhem that left Hernandez fighting for life."

As if we needed any more proof that both the media and the cops are a bunch of clowns.

Oprah Is A Stupid Bitch

God damn. Looks like people are finally starting to figure out what a herb Oprah is. I mean I guess if you're a stay at home mom making sure your bebbies don't grow up to be the next Trenchcoat Mafia or some shit and you don't have cable there really isn't shit else on whenever her abortion of a show is on you have an excuse for watching it. But only because people with little ass kids are pretty much disconnected from reality in the first place (though much love to people who actually raise their kids rather than putting them in a fucking day care so their heads get all fucked up and they end up knocking my food tray over at Burger King).

Anyway that was kind of a tangent, the real point of this post is that after that James Frey douchebag wrote that fake ass book about being a heroin addict or whatever and Oprah went all, you know, Oprah about it the book was found to be a bunch of made up shit and now the "Queen Of Daytime Television"'s credibility is in question and everyone's kind of waking up to the fact that she's essentially a moron who should never have been on TV in the first place. Shit is Geraldo still around? We should kick her off TV and give her show to that dude. Anyway, she was going to have this amazing confrontation where she "cornered" this evil man and defended her honor in front of the world, which was actually just a shallow ploy to get her ratings back. Well bizzah bitch, no huge ratings hike for you. People without and with brains are finally figuring out that your show sucks and so do you. Now go away please.

Biggie's Mom Cleans Up

Maybe the sales from all the 12 year olds buying "Duets" weren't enough for Biggie's mom, as it's reported that the City of Los Angeles has been ordered to pay 1.1 million dollars to her and supposedly the rest of Frank White's family as compensation for holding back evidence in relation to his murder. This is pretty cool I guess, but we're still not any closer to knowing who killed Biggie (though a few of us have some theories). Here's an excerpt of the article:

APWire sez:
"LOS ANGELES - A federal judge has ordered the city to pay $1.1 million in legal costs to the family of slain rapper Notorious B.I.G. as sanctions for intentionally withholding evidence. U.S. District Judge Florence-Marie Cooper's ruling Friday didn't give the family the $2 million originally sought, but she left open the possibility of an additional $300,000."It's pretty clear from the ruling that the judge understands this is a significant and difficult case," said Perry Sanders, an attorney for the rapper's family. "We were disappointed with the order," said Jonathan Diamond, spokesman for City Atty. Rocky Delgadillo, whose office defended the city. "We believe the officer's conduct was inadvertent, and we will prevail at trial on the merits of the case."

Christopher Wallace, or Notorious B.I.G., was shot and killed March 9, 1997, after a party at the Petersen Automotive Museum in Los Angeles. The murder has not been solved."

I still wouldn't put it past Diddy.

Move Bitch! Get Out The Way!

In the most "unexpected" news since Rosie O'Donnel came out (nullus), the AAA is saying that in car accidents involving dumbass teenagers, people not in the car are almost twice as likely to kick the bucket. What this means is that 17 year old drunk White girls listening to Omarion in the Lexus daddy bought them are ending up being responsible for people's deaths and living to be really really sorry for a whole ten days and then going to frat parties again. Then again, I can see people without X chromosomes who drive super fast and throw shit out of car windows at "fags" accounting for something like, say, 10% of this. But as already visited in these posts from the Report, I'm pretty sure drunk teenage girls are just as dangerous to everyday peeps like me and me as the dreaded Geezers.

Anyway, I find it interesting that in the rest of the article when they mentioned drivers above the age of 17 no effort is made to split this group into People/Geezers. I think that by that reasoning probably all of their statistics are skewed, because then it's impossible to account for all of the accidents that their old selves cause. I mean shit just the other day me and Walt's Mom almost died a horrific gruesome death at the hands of some bluehairs. Have you ever notice they drive like 12 in a car? So that was like 12 cigarette worn Crypt Keeper ass voices yelling at us when we passed them after they veered dangerously close to us on the highway and almost sent me to drink RC Cola with Big L. You don't see shit like that in "AAA Reports" now do you. Further proof that Uncle Sam Hill just wants to blame everything on minorities, poor people, and young people.    

Waa! Save The Geezer!

In further proof that coddlers and old people run our society, a 75 year old blind, partially deaf, crippled man was actually considered for clemency for 3-4 murders and there's been some uproar about his execution, which is scheduled for Wednesday. Now those of you who know me personally know that I really really oppose the death penalty, but why people even considered letting this dude continue to atrophy in a cell whilst x many people have been executed and found posthumously guilty is kind of puzzling.

Obviously what we should compare this situation to is the recent execution of Tookie Williams. Now both of these men were found guilty of 3-4 murders in relation to robbery, and both of them were considered for clemency. Tookie on one hand spent his time behind bars attempting to make up for his gang past, writing books against gangbangin' and the like, earning commendation from George W. Bush and dudes like that. Whilst on the other hand, our buddy Clarence Ray Allen presumably spent his time in the clink going blind and deaf. And yet both of these men got the exact same treatment. The question is why.

Toybox Gangstas

In the kind of oddly pathetic news that the internets seems to thrive on, a kid who brought a toy gun to school was recently popped by some SWAT team dudes. Observe this oddness.

Scotsman.com News Sez:
"A suicidal teenager shot by police as he brandished a toy gun in his school died of his injuries, said a family spokeswoman.

Neighbour Kelly Swofford told reporters outside 15-year-old Christopher Penley's home that he had died of his injuries.

"They want to donate his organs because that is what Chris would want," Swofford said. "The family is devastated, just devastated."

Penley was accused of brandishing the toy gun in a classroom and pointing it at other students before forcing one into a store room, then leading deputies and members of an elite police team on a chase that ended in a school bathroom when he raised the gun at a deputy."

That's some retarded shit. I can't see any point to bringing a fake gun to school, unless he wanted the cops to shoot him. In which case he could either bring an unloaded real tool or just shoot himself. Doesn't that seem pretty weird?

Bush Checks Pat Robertson

Well it looks like OG Christian Fundamentalist and loony extraordinare Pat Robertson has finally run afoul of your boy George W. For those reading this who aren't aware, P-Rob recently stated that Ariel Sharon's stroke was the result of him "defying the Lord" and pulling out (nullus) Israeli troops from Gaza.

Anyway, to me this is proof that the man is losing his mind more and more every passing episode of the 700 People In The Whole Country Watching Club. After this outburst of retardery, a spokesman from the White Outhouse was quoted as saying that El Presidente disapproved of this remark.

Voice Of America News sez:

A White House spokesman says President Bush disapproves of what a leading Christian broadcaster said about Israeli leader Ariel Sharon. Television evangelist Pat Robertson suggested Thursday that Mr. Sharon suffered a massive stroke because the prime minister defied, what he termed, the will of God by dividing Israel. Mr. Bush's spokesman said the president views those remarks as wholly inappropriate and offensive.

Not that this makes him any less of a clown, but I think this is proof that in the big scheme of things Bush isn't as far to the right as most people think he is. Watch one of his speeches if you don't believe me, he doesn't really say anything other than the same "no really, the war was an awesome idea" mush repeated a million times. Then listen to a Pat Buchanan speech. If an "Ethnic Studies Major" got ahold of that shit and edited it it would look like somebody hit the mute button.

The Rapsters Did It!

Well in the wake of the Paris riots, in which the rate of automobile fires has gone down to the abysmal level of only, you know, 60-90 a day, it appears the bakra of France have already gone back to their old tricks again. These consist primarily of ignoring the actual cause of the riots, and blaming the city's "racaille" and rapsters for the violence. I mean obviously this is a bunch of bullshit (pardon my French hehe) but among France's politicians and such this theory seems to be holding a lot of water.

Davey D sez:

THERE IS NOTHING quite so comforting as a bad-bad explanation of a social phenomenon. All you do is take two things you don't like — say, rap and riots — and suggest that one causes the other. Thus, in the aftermath of France's riots, it seemed that many French politicians knew exactly who to blame. One hundred and fifty-three members of the lower house of Parliament and 49 senators backed a petition by conservative lawmaker Francois Grosdidier asking the justice minister to press charges against seven acts: singers Smala, Fabe and Salif and the rap groups Lunatic, 113, Ministere Amer and Monsieur R. The petition wants them charged with inciting racism and anti-Semitism, and inflaming, if not actually causing, the rioting.

The confrontational content of this music was, according to Grosdidier, "one of the factors that led to the violence in the suburbs."

"When people hear this all day long … it is no surprise," he added, "that they then see red as soon as they walk past policemen or simply people who are different from them."

The bloggers, pundits and young newspaper reporters born in the hip-hop age have responded. Rap, they say, does not cause the outrage and frustration of its environment, it merely expresses it. Though it may be crude and aggressive, it articulates the real concerns of a forgotten community, and it has been doing so for some time. The lyrics of 1990s rappers Supreme NTM now read like a prediction: "What is it, what is it/ You're waiting for to start the fire?/ The years go by, but all is still the same/ Which makes me ask, how much longer can it last?

What a bunch of clowns. I thought blaming rap for the problems it describes went out like 10-15 years. Apparently it took the Froggies that long to catch on.

Expensive Food Sucks

After some vaunted research (eating at fancy restaurants like 9 times in my life), as well as the inside wisdom (nullus) that taking a cooking class this semester has granted me, I have come to a shattering conclusion. Most expensive food is no better than say, Taco Bell, and in some cases may even taste worse. I mean it makes sense when you think about it, I would assume that most of the materials come from Gordon Food Services anyway and the process of cutting the shit up and putting it in an oven probably wouldn't vary that much from place to place. So why is expensive ass food hyped up to be the awesomest thing in the world?

Elementary my dear Watson. The whole concept of expensive restaurants is entirely based upon the idea of rich old people leaving the house once a month as usual, going to a nice looking place, spending a shitload of money on dinner and then thinking they're the shit because they can afford to drop 140 dollars on something I could get at McDonald's for like a 15th of that. So in effect eating expensive food has very little to do with the actual quality of the food, but more to do with the overall experience (nullus). And all this does is further prove that dumbass rich old people run our society. Bizzah.   

And Rap Album Of The Year Goes To...

Honestly, I still can't decide between the two. Minstrel Show is more toward my favorite end of hip hop (true school early 90s shit), but on the whole lyrically Hell's Winter was probably better. However, as a concept album (which both were) LB's product is more successful, probably because of the skits and such. I mean you can tell what Hell's Winter is about too, but it isn't as complete in realizing it's statement as TMS. But then the beats on Hell's Winter have a little bit of an edge on 9th's productions simply because they switch up a lot more and have more variety. Yeah 9th is one of my favorite beatsters but I have noticed his tendency to take a really cool loop, repeat it 800 times and then throw the same boring drums over it.

So essentially I'm still torn between Little Brother and Cage for rap album of the year. I'm sure people will wonder why I didn't mention The Gayme, Paul Wall,Young Jeezy and the rest of those dudes and here is your answer: that shit sucked. Anyway, I'm leaving it up to all you boys and girls in the comment pit section to decided which one's better. See you bitches next year.