The About Page
First time here? Check out my story in the RFT:
- The Mad Blogger [Riverfront Times]
Brief Bio
My name is Byron Crawford, though most people on the Internets call me Bol, which is Swahili for “The Gulliest One.” As you can see, I take no small amount of pride in my African heritage. When I’m not working like a hebrew slave at a series of soul-crushing minimum wage jobs, I devote most of my free time to doing community outreach with black and “latino” youth.
No homo.
I run a website (perhaps you’ve heard of it) called ByronCrawford.com: The Mindset of a Champion, in which I educate today’s youth on some of the most pressing issues of the day, including racism, homophobia, healthy living, respect for women, tolerance for religion, and who really runs the record industry. I also work as an online columnist for XXL magazine.
A committed feminist, I also donate as much money as I can (sometimes more) to underprivileged female college students in a small, rural town called Sauget, Illinois. Because as far as I’m concerned, it’s one thing to talk about it on the Internet, but it’s a whole other thing to put your money where your mouth is. Literally.
I’ve lived in an around St. Louis, MO all my life, except for a five year period I spent in a tiny, rural town called Chicken Switch, MO. I hold a bachelor's degree in business administration, with a concentration in marketing, from Truman State University, the Harvard of the Midwest, as well as a certificate in food safety I earned while working at a White Castle.
In addition to hip-hop, I’m also a big fan of the album New Miserable Experience by the Gin Blossoms.
Frequently Asked (by dumbasses) Questions
Who runs this site? - ByronCrawford.com: The Mindset of a Champion is published by PenceFo Industries, LLC and is edited by Byron Crawford a.k.a. "Bol" (Swahili for "the gulliest one").
Where is Bol from? - Bol grew up primarily in University City and Creve Coeur, MO and currently resides in an overpriced tenement building in University City. However, he also lived for five years in a rural town called Chicken Switch, MO, which is where the site began.
What does Bol do? - Bol alternates between having shitty jobs in places like retail stores and fast food restaurants, and not having any job to speak of at all. But he basically makes his living, so to speak, running this site. Most famously, he's a former employee of a K-Mart store (a.k.a. "the Big Gay Mart") and the now defunct Super Smokers Barbecue. If you'd like to offer him money to do something, feel free to contact him via email.
Is Bol educated? - Sort of. Bol holds a bachelor's degree in Business Administration from Truman State University, not to mention a certificate in Food Safety that he picked up while working at a White Castle.
Does Bol have any hobbies? - In his free time, which is infinite, Bol enjoys coffee drinking, music listening, book and newspaper reading, film and TV watching, and pornography... um, staring at.
What does "nullus" mean? - Basically, "I am not a homosexual." You see, "nullus" is short for "nullus homosexualis," which is Latin for "no homo."
Who or what is a Tall Israeli? - A Tall Israeli, or TI, is a member of the secret cabal of individuals who really control the rap music industry, as revealed on Mos Def's 2004 album The New Danger. Which was, of course, subsequently pulled from the record store shelves and edited to remove any mention of Tall Israelis.
What does [insert any number of other words] mean? - You know, I can't imagine that there are very many words that we use here that aren't in the Urban Dictionary.
Can I advertise on this site? - Yes, you can. In fact, it's likely the only way your worthless product will be mentioned on this site. Contact me via email for the rates.
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What people (dumbasses) are saying
"Funniest blog of the month. Byron - a man with "the mindset of a champion" - lays down the law about whatever's vexed him that week with unparalleled editorial brutality." —Arena
"If you on the Internet, don't say nothing about Kanye. I'm sick of it. You can't touch me, so shut up!" —Kanye West
"If this has something to do with your previous beef with O-dub, I had nothing to do with that. If this is the case however, I'd prefer that you direct any residual negative energy elsewhere." —Del F. Cowie
"Byron has a remarkable wit, that I usually enjoy very much, but perhaps the fact that I am a young black mother makes me really feel for LaToyia Figueroa and her family." —Cherryl Aldave
"All of these events have led to, among other things, a "Free Gerardo" screed wherein some brilliant blogger spells America with a three Ks, instead of a C. (This strategic spelling demonstrates the blogger's genius, because he knows about the Klan and the title of the Kafka book. Amerikkka, get it? The US is a Nazi state. Brilliant.)" —Jonathan Bunch
"On a side note, blogs like this are ones I don't care for. I found this entry while looking for a good link for Mr. Spurlock's personal name. It's just.... offensive." —c0nsumer
"Byron Crawford who is a total wanker loser thinks that women who breastfeed and don't have hot tits are offensive, he used hair as a point of argument. Although i disagree with that loser fully, I'm so not into the bogan/french thing please, please shave or wax. Please." —Amanda
"Apparently Crawford is/was a music industry insider. He has many funny stories to tell, and the writing is largely superb. I just wish he would give up the lame "no homo" tag (just read the blog - you'll see what I mean). It's juvenile, homophobic, and tired. All of Crawford's fan-boys in the comments section also use it. Great blog, but boys need to become men sooner or later." —DH
"Here's yet another person who can't make fun of people without using racial stereotypes. I admit the outfits are funny, but do you gotta rely on the old blacks=criminals crap to get a laugh?" —shannon
"And as an interesting note, the above link is from a self-proclaimed Southern Baptist, replete with anti-Catholic, anti-Semitic, and by demanding death, anti-Christian writings." —Dave
"Thanks to what I can only describe as a half-funny, half-horrifying smear campaign being conducted by one very determined blogger with a grudge, I find myself in the ridiculous position of having to assure people - including good friends of mine - that I have NOT been sending out racist emails to anyone. I'm sure said grudge-bearer is cackling with glee at the success of his libelous endeavor and even I have to admit that his week-long Bash-A-Thon has had moments of brazen brilliance." —Oliver Wang
"Bol is a smart kid, in some ways, but I feel he's far overrated by people that seem otherwise insightful and intelligent. He's more like an extremely weak version of Andrew Dice Clay than a potential Lenny Bruce or Chris Rock. His flashes of "brilliance" seem more idiot savant than truly intelligent." —Clyde Smith
"Not worth checking out." —VIBE magazine
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Disclaimer
ByronCrawford.com is a gossip site which publishes rumors and conjecture in addition to accurately reported facts. Information on this site may or may not be true and ByronCrawford.com makes no warranty as to the validity of any claims.
Nullus.