Chance the Rapper's fiance is way out of my league, but let's keep it real—I'm no Chance the Rapper. There's no need to run down the entire litany of things that are wrong with me, nor is there room on the entire Internets to do so, but suffice it to say I should be so lucky.
The future Mrs. Chance the Rapper is both young and height-weight proportional, which is really the only two things you need in a woman. But she also has pit stains and the hair style girls were required to wear at White Castle when I worked there, not to mention abundant facial strength.
Obviously Chance the Rapper, who proposed to his baby's mother with no shirt on, in a backyard that's almost as sad-looking as my own backyard, without doing anything about his sex offender facial hair beforehand, is not concerned with the way things look, and I, for one, salute him.
And not just because I can't see anyway. The fact of the matter is that this girl already has Chance the Rapper's baby, which means that even if he doesn't marry her he's going to have to pay her money out the ass. She probably got with him back when no one believed that anyone would ever want to hear him rap with those stupid voices.
Ladies, let this be a lesson that just because a man seems like he's not worth a shit doesn't mean he won't one day have a lot of money.