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February 25, 2014

Taco Bell about to start serving breakfast

via gawker.com

Finally, a reason to get out of bed before 10 AM. Beginning March 27th, i.e. about a month from now (start saving), Taco Bell will begin rolling out its new breakfast menu nationwide. (It's already been around for a year in parts of California.) Below is a look at Taco Bell's breakfast menu items.

1) Cinnabon Delights

What is that in the center? Icing? And what does that have to do with Mexican food? Theory: Mexican children #fuxwit Cinnabon heavy, and that's why they're so fat. Well, that and the fact that it's harder to maintain a lean physique when you're like 4'11.

2) Waffle Taco

I can't tell if that's cheese on the eggs or maple syrup. I'm kinda hoping it's the latter, but the former wouldn't be a dealbreaker. Nothing in this is something I wouldn't already eat for breakfast, and putting it together in waffle form is more convenient than trying to eat if all separate, especially if you're high at 7 AM.

3) Breakfast Burrito

There's never been a good breakfast burrito, and this one doesn't even look good. Granted, this is the first breakfast burrito that's ostensibly not frozen, so you don't have to sweat first burning your tongue on the microwaved exterior, only to bite into a frozen solid chunk of "egg product" in the center.

4) AM Crunchwrap

This seems like it should be better than the Breakfast Burrito, if only because it's got a hash brown in it, and hash browns are delicious. Really, there's no reason why they can't just serve hash browns all day long. They're made out of the same shit as french fries, right? There's no risk of tainting the grease. Hash rounds are even better than hash browns, because they've got more "surface potato" and less interior.

5) AM Grilled Taco

This looks more like a breakfast quesadilla to me, and the fact that they're calling it a grilled taco suggests to me that it wasn't particularly well thought out. Plus, it doesn't appear to have any different ingredients from the breakfast burrito. Like the Meximelt, it might be a scam to charge you way more for a slightly different permutation of the same three ingredients. Try raising this issue with the cashier and see if you can't get something for free.

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Posted by Bol at 11:45 AM | Permalink

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