Good news, Internets: I know last week I said I finished my second book and it'd be out some time in March, but I might actually push it up some, to either the middle or the end of this month (Black History Month). Probably the end of the month. I don't wanna be too ambitious.
That'll give me a couple of weeks to shamelessly promote it and try to guilt trip people into buying it, via social media, before I have to leave the Internets for a period of time. I found out the other day that my eye surgery is scheduled for the 13th of March. I could have had it on the 4th, the big 3-2, but I didn't like the idea of my eye being cut open on my birthday. Any damage done on that day should be the result of substance abuse.
Plus, there's always the slight possibility I could drop dead. Whenever you go in for one of these procedures, they make you sign a buncha forms stating that you realize you might not make it out (so you can't complain if you drop dead), and listing who to turn over your house in a shanty town to and your signed copy of Battle of the Asses 2 with Kelly Divine and Ava Rose, my prized possession. I've been through this process five times in the past few years, at least once a year now going back to '09. I'm either very lucky or very unlucky, depending on how you look at it.
All that's left to be done, in order to have book #2 out in ebook, is to finish spellchecking it and upload it to Amazon. If I really focused hard and worked intently and stopped checking my email - which I don't even read - every five minutes, I could probably have it done this weekend. I only spent a day or two editing the first one - and that was back when I hardly knew what I was doing. (I'm an expert now.) So I should probably have that done by the end of next week. If I were a better typist, and I didn't use as many words that I just pulled out of my ass (nullus), I could just let the computer spellcheck it for me.
As part of the same procrastination in which I also added more hoo-ers to the left sidebar, I actually read the instructions for how to upload an ebook to more formats than just Amazon, and I began the process of putting together a paperback version of book #2. If I don't run into any problems like I did last time, I might be able to have book #2 out in both ebook and paperback from jump. I'm sure that would be good marketing (in which, lest we forget, I have a degree). At the very least, it would save me from fielding emails from people looking for a print version and having to answer the same questions over and over again.
Book #2 will still be exclusive to Amazon for a few months, because Amazon gives you like $20 extra if you make your book exclusive to them for a few months, and think of how many horsemeat Whoppers I can buy with $20. (36 and 1/3. I counted. And I might even be able to talk them into selling me a third of a sandwich. Hell, it's worth a shot.) But if the instructions I read weren't a crock of shit, I should be able to put together a version of book #1 in pretty much any format there ever was in just a few hours. It's just a matter of getting rid of some of the formatting from the Amazon version, and there's a way you can do it all at once. So that'll be the next thing I work on. Maybe I can figure out what's wrong with the paperback version too.
I came up with a title not too long after last week's post announcing I'd written another book. You can probably already guess what it is (it's what people tend to suggest when I tell them I'm looking for a name for a book), but I'm gonna hold off on announcing it for the time being. I think the artwork I've got Theotis Jones working on will give it a certain impact that it wouldn't have if I just wrote it here. Maybe I'll have something next week, and maybe I'll even have some information on the book's content, rather than just a buncha rambling about my inability to spellcheck it. Watch this space.