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If I had enough money, I could hold hands with Lindsay Lohan and awkwardly glance at her cans #regrets

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via gawker.com

She can't really work in film anymore, because the insurance costs too much. There was a great story in the Times magazine the other day about the movie she did via Kickstarter with Paul Schrader and Bret Easton Ellis. I'm sure you've already read it, because you don't just pretend to be knowledgeable in the comments section.

According to Star, Lindsay's father, the always unpredictable Michael Lohan, claims that the actress is "getting paid to date rich men."

"Dina is pimping her out – it's disgusting!"

Since the story came out, TMZ has published flabbergasted statements from Michael Lohan, saying that he never said Lindsay was paid for sex. But the Star story doesn't say that Lindsay was paid for sex. Everybody knows, Cinnamon Champagne don't do no sex. Only handholds.