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Fake pimp ternt fake rapper

via hiphopwired.com

It used to be that a pimp was someone the black community could be proud of. If you didn't necessarily agree with what they did for a living, you could at least admire their fur coats and fancy cars. "World reknowned, internationally known, and locally accepted," the saying went.

These days, any ol' dumbass can find a teenage girl on the Internets, get her an $8 Megabus ticket to Florida or somewhere, and advertise her wares on the Village Voice media's Backpage.com. The prestige has gone out of the game. Today's pimp is the equivalent of the guy you went to high school with who has a business card saying he's the CEO of an entertainment company, who also works at Jack in the Box.

The only thing that could possibly be worse is a bootleg pimp who also happens to be a bum rapper. Enter PimpStick Quezzy. No Boutros.

Quezzy, pronounced queasy, was busted last week by the FBI. They probably didn't have a very hard time finding, due to the fact that he was using Twitter to post his exact geographic coordinates to all 17 of his followers (no, really), and announce the fact that he was engaging in illegal activity. A typical tweet, as excerpted by the Smoking Gun, went, "I'm down here in Dallas, TX, promoting this pimpin," along with where exactly in Dallas he could be found.

Was he not concerned with letting the world know where he kept his hoes because he figured he was so unpopular? You can tell he wasn't making that much money, because you can buy a shedload of followers on Twitter. That's why you see people no one ever heard of with hundreds of thousands or even millions of followers. Well, that and these shows where hoodrats who once blew a famous rapper or athlete try to pull each others fake hair out, which inevitably seem to be set in Atlanta.

I don't know if haX0rs somehow found a way to automate the process of creating fake email addresses, and using them to set up dummy Twitter accounts to boost someones number of followers, or if they have rooms full of chinamen down by the docks pulling 18 hour shifts. You'd think they'd have the technology at this point, but what do I know about computers?

We probably wouldn't have heard about this shit if it wasn't for the Smoking Gun, which remains committed to hip-hop journalism. They've gotten a lot of mileage out of putting rappers on blast, over the years. Who can forget the many times they exposed T.I., and his former weed carrier Alfalfa a/k/a Alfadavit. This guy PimpStick Quezzy did a song with Young Dro, another T.I. machine gun carrier. In the bootleg video for the song "The Grand Intro," as featured in the Smoking Gun, there's a buncha pictures of T.I., and even a picture of Tiny.

I'm surprised the Smoking Gun didn't pick up on that. They listened to the song at least enough times to quote the hilarious line "I make sure every one of my hos get $30 apiece ever two months." Roffle. If T.I. doesn't #fuxwit this guy PimpStick, which I'm sure he doesn't, it's at least hilarious that PimpStick is trying to make it seem like he does, presumably to impress his hoo-ers. I can't imagine it costs much to get a guest verse from Young Dro. It's been a good half a decade since that song "Shoulder Lean." T.I. has been in and out of the joint five times in the interim, which I'm sure has only helped drive down the price.

The indictment the Smoking Gun turned up breaks down Quezzy's process. He'd meet young girls online and convince them to come work for him, possibly by sending them a link to the video for "The Grand Intro." Obviously these girls didn't have a lot going on in their lives. And then he'd send them money for a bus ticket to South Carolina, where he lives. The victim in this case in particular came all the way from Montana. She's was born in 1995, which means she's 17 at best, which I guess isn't legal in South Carolina? Well, I guess it isn't legal to pimp a girl out regardless of how old she is, but I wonder if there should be any extra charges if the girl is technically a minor but she's still above the legal age of consent where she's working. If I were him, I'd have my lawyer look into that.

It sounds like they're about to throw the book at his ass. You can tell from the details of the indictment the Smoking Gun decided to highlight: the fact that she was born in 1995; the fact that she had to travel across a number of state lines to come work for him; the fact that he got her a fake ID so she could work at a strip club; the fact that he listed her services on Backpage.com. Whenever you hear about Backpage.com, which is every other day at this point, they always mention underage girls who were listed, as if every girl you can rent from Backpage is 15. That's because they're trying to throw the Village Voice under a bus, and no one would give a shit if it was just adults. In this economy?