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I take back everything I ever said about Lana Del Rey

via pitchfork.com

I don't think I've said anything at all about Lana Del Ray up until this point, but of course I don't disagree with the general consensus re: LDR, a/k/a DSL Soundsystem, which is that she's just some random daughter of a professional domain squatter from the suburbs, not a legit hipster, and that this is a particularly egregious example of the TIs trying to manufacture authenticity, even compared to, say, Wale, who's at least very dark skinted and doesn't appear to have any values.

I briefly considered posting one of her videos here a few weeks ago, when I saw where Lushlife - whose taste in women I appreciate - was talking her up on Twitter, but then I forgot, and then later I saw where Miss Info had posted it, which means that Lana Del Ray is being astroturfed. Whew!

Then there was all that stuff about how she only became a hipster fairly recently, because the TIs couldn't sell her on the basis of being a smoking hot 20 year-old piece of ass, which is surprising to me, but that just goes to show the effect Katy Perry has had on the industry. And that stuff about how we should excuse the fact that her DSLs don't look quite right, and the fact that her videos look like commercials for Bad Idea Jeans, and the fact that she was almost certainly invented in a boardroom at Interscope by the same Jew broad who invented My Chemical Romance circa '02, because she's a woman, and if she doesn't become the next Adele, there could be another situation like the one with the movie Bridesmaids, where the TIs decide to put a temporary or perhaps even permanent moratorium on releasing albums by female singers. Which could fuck up the prospects for a new album by Tegan and Sara. They've been riding that album Sainthood hard for the past few years now. Atlas Sound has put out six albums in the interim, and all of those bad boys were nails. "Alligator" is the best song of all time, but come on! I got an email the other day saying they're putting it out as live album/DVD. Could this be why?

You can check the Internets for several astute essays about how inauthentic Lana Del Ray is and whether or not we should give a shit. But don't check Pitchfork, because I find all of their coverage of Lana Del Ray to be suspect. Either Interscope must have cut them a substantial check, or LDR must have stopped by the Pitchfork offices herself and put those DSLs to good use. I already had to check P-fork once this year, for trying to promote that Nazi group. I may have even been the reason they had to pull out of Pitchfork's European music festival, in Paris, and if so, I want some sort of grant from one of these organizations that promote racial sensitivity. Someone get Jesse Jackson on the phone. Better yet, have him email me. I can never understand what the fuck he's trying to say.

But never mind all that. I'm actually more concerned with the video posted above. As you can see, it's amazing. It captures her from just the right angle, which I'm sure is no accident. I could probably fap to just the screencap, and I'm not as young as I used to be. And for that reason alone, I don't have anything bad to say about Lana Del Rey. Sorry! Yeah, the song is kinda retarded, but so is rap music.