July 26, 2011
Taking fake pictures w/ pr0n chicks? There's an app for that!
I'd sit here and try to pretend that taking a fake picture with a pr0n chick is some sorry shit... but I already posted a picture of myself standing in the background of someone else's picture of a pr0n chick as if it was one of my life's great accomplishments. And who knows? Maybe it was.
Let's keep it real. For a certain kind of guy, it doesn't get much better than a picture of yourself with a pr0n chicks. There's a reason these hoo-ers are able to demand exorbitant sums for Polaroids when they feature dance - or so I've been told.
This app ZZBooth might be the next best thing. It superimposes a picture of a pr0n chick into a picture of yourself taken with a smartphone. Kinda like Photoshop, but you don't have to be an Asian teenager to understand how it works.
July 25, 2011
Sell drugs in the barber shop at your own risk
Warning: This might be the most disturbing non-sexual thing I've seen on the Internets, especially the part at the end where it's revealed that some kid witnessed the entire thing.
Jaywalking: Worse than drunk driving?
Not that I'm advocating in favor of drunk driving. If at all possible, you should try to talk someone else into driving, or drink at home, by yourself. I'm just saying. As someone who can barely afford enough alcohol to put on a drunk, let alone a cab ride, my worst fear is that one day I'm gonna run someone over, but it's not gonna have shit to do with the fact that I'm drunk. It's because someone was standing out in the middle of the goddamn street, where people are trying to drive.
Plus, I can relate to the perp in this case, because I'm a bummy-looking black dude who drives a van, who's drunk, on pain medication and blind in one eye. I think I even drove down that street in 2K10, when I was in Atlanta. It's a good thing this woman's kid was already. Er, that didn't come out right. But you catch my drift.
FACT: Black people don't tip as well as white people
You probably could have figured as much, via "racism," but The Root conducted an actual survey.
Then they had some young guy who used to work at a TGI Fridays write an essay about it.
I found this anecdote about someone's classy grandpa particularly amusing.
I'll never forget serving a family of five. Their tab came to $98. The older black gentleman praised my service and even asked where I'd be studying in the fall. He shook my hand, enclosing a folded $100 bill, and as he left he said, "Keep the change." It was apparent that he was serious, and had no idea that I wanted to chase him out into the parking lot with a baseball bat, Joe Clark-style.
And here's the author's theory on why black people are shitty tippers.
I think it's more about racism.
Think about it: For black folks, there are still relatively few opportunities (outside of therapy) to articulate our frustration with the unbalanced scales of power in our society. Even for those in the upper echelons, the playing field isn't level, and in our current economic climate, everything is in flux, making waiters easy targets. I found that the tables that demanded the most tipped the worst. It became painfully clear that I gave my distressed guest an opportunity to feel superior.
White Al-Qaeda: Worse than regular Al-Qaeda?
I spent literally this entire weekend (even when I was asleep) working like a Hebrew slave at the BGM, and also drinking. I was barely even aware that there was a terror attack in Norway, let alone that it had anything to do with some sort of White Al-Qaeda. Tha fuck? I'm thinking a White Al-Qaeda could be even worse than regular Al-Qaeda, because they'd try to be especially evil, to show off for their Muslim counterparts. Plus, they'd be nearly impossible to detect at the airport.
Let's hope this is all just an inside job by the CIA.