June 29, 2011
A Fare Slice (I.C. NYC Episode 3)
These dudes obviously never worked in a restaurant before. Anything you buy from a restaurant with no meat on it (or very little meat, like a slice of pepperoni pizza) probably cost like $.04 to make - and that's including what they paid the Mexicans who put it in the oven.
Soulja Boy threw a party for just white girls
Or rather, he went on Twitter and invited white girls to attend his 21st birthday party in Las Vegas. And of course Black People Twitter was none too pleased. Several tweets having to do with this party - which I'm assuming was an actual party that took place yesterday? - appear to have been retweeted hundreds of times each. #activism
Looking forward to hearing this in the grocery store #sincerity
Domestic violence > Odd Future > domestic violence groups
One of these groups for women who got beat up (through no fault of their own, I'm sure) heard, probably via the official Teagan and Sara website, that OFWGYMCA's songs are about beating and raping women (in that order), and decided they'd better protest Odd Future's set at the Pitchfork Music Festival next month, where they were gonna be anyway.
They approached P-fork about getting their own tent, in the special area for that sort of thing, but the space had already been rented out by Peta. #priorities
Plus, I'm sure P-fork didn't want them agitating during Odd Future's set, messing up the show (even worse than it already is) for everyone else, just because they got beat up. Perhaps if they weren't so disruptive. #justsaying
So now the plan is to stand in the street outside the festival, with the neighborhood black people (my cousins) selling bottled water you can't bring inside the park anyway, via "beer sales," handing out 5,000 cardboard fans "with a powerful message about violence against women and resources listed on them."
If only the TIs didn't have me fired for talking shit about about OFWGYMCA, back before it was all trendy. Their set could actually be interesting!
June 28, 2011
FYI: Asian girls are trading their virginity for an iPhone 4
If their nether regions are anything like their eyes, this could be the opportunity of a lifetime! [Sorry, I just had to.]
So far only one girl has made such an offer - but you know if one of them said it out loud, a million of them must have at least thought about it. It's a big country. I have no idea what the actual Law of Averages is, even after skimming its entry in the wiki, but I wouldn't be surprised if it comes into play here as well.
No word on if anyone has taken her up on this offer, or why a Chinese girl would need to trade her virginity for an iPhone 4, when China supposedly has all of the money. Or is it because they loaned all of that money to us, and of course we can't afford to pay it back? I guess if they wanted to they could take possession of what's left of the US at this point, but what good would that do them? This country's falling apart, and they don't mind living in close quarters anyway.
Also, isn't the iPhone made in China? You'd think it would cost less there, if only because they don't have to fly it halfway around the world. And if you don't work in the factory yourself, you could probably still take advantage of your cousin's employee discount, via "similarity in appearance."
Take home point: Gadgetry might be useful in hollering at an Asian woman. Even if you don't necessarily intend to trade your iPhone 4 for her virginity, I'd bring it with me. I mean, if they're that into cell phones.