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The I don't #fuxwit black women legal defense

via profootballtalk.nbcsports.com

A waitress tried to accuse NFL player Albert Haynesworth of inappropriately touching her with a credit card, but that can't be true, because he doesn't even #fuxwit black women.

“I didn’t touch her,” Haynesworth said, according to documents. He also explained that he doesn’t “even like black girls.”

Haynesworth even took it a step farther, claiming that the alleged victim was motivated by Haynesworth’s taste in women.

“I know what this is about, she is just upset I have a white girlfriend,” Haynesworth reportedly told detectives. “I couldn’t tell you the last time I dated a black girl. She was trying to get with me.”

Things I'm concerned with here:

(1) What, exactly, constitutes an inappropriate touch with a credit card. It was the "Tip Drill" ass crack credit card swipe, right?

(2) Even if that's what it was, I'm not sure if that qualifies as a "sexual assault." More like an inappropriate gesture.

(3) Let's have a look at this white girlfriend.