A waitress tried to accuse NFL player Albert Haynesworth of inappropriately touching her with a credit card, but that can't be true, because he doesn't even #fuxwit black women.
“I didn’t touch her,” Haynesworth said, according to documents. He also explained that he doesn’t “even like black girls.”
Haynesworth even took it a step farther, claiming that the alleged victim was motivated by Haynesworth’s taste in women.
“I know what this is about, she is just upset I have a white girlfriend,” Haynesworth reportedly told detectives. “I couldn’t tell you the last time I dated a black girl. She was trying to get with me.”
Things I'm concerned with here:
(1) What, exactly, constitutes an inappropriate touch with a credit card. It was the "Tip Drill" ass crack credit card swipe, right?
(2) Even if that's what it was, I'm not sure if that qualifies as a "sexual assault." More like an inappropriate gesture.
(3) Let's have a look at this white girlfriend.