January 27, 2011
Jwoww topless: Not as epic as you'd suspect
Remember that weird bit at the end of last week's episode of Jersey Shore, when Jwoww and Snooki had to rush back to Jwoww's house, to make sure her dog hadn't died in the 20 minutes or so since her ex skipped town, because she's a filthy hoo-er? (Of course I'm assuming that anyone who reads this site watches Jersey Shore as if it's the news.)
I should have known she was concerned with more than just the dog. As a matter of fact, I don't even recall her feeding the dog. As soon as she got into the house, the first thing she did was go into this home office area to look for a hard drive. You'll recall that it was Snooki who found out that the guy had taken her bed, which was probably his bed anyway, and an expensive watch he'd given her as an anniversary present or some shit, which is certainly understandable.
Down in that home office area, Jwoww went rifling through cabinets, looking underneath papers on a desk, and in a filing cabinet. I thought maybe she was concerned that she wouldn't be able to pay her taxes. Come to find out, that hard drive had on it some naked pictures of her she'd had taken, probably to show off the work she'd had done on her cans.
That guy she cheated on absconded with said hard drive, knowing good and well what was on it. Word on the street is that he's been shopping its contents around to various media organizations, but I guess he couldn't find any takers, or he could get the amount quality like that deserves, or at least not before the pics leaked to the Internets. Damn.
What's worse, her cans weren't as big then as they've been in recent episodes of Jersey Shore, in which they look positively ginormous.
See for yourself:
Byron Crawford a/k/a Bol is the celebrated author of several books, most recently NaS Lost: A Tribute to the Little Homey.
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Posted by Bol at 01:00 PM | Permalink
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