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FACT: There is nothing wrong with love

A professor at a university in Canada tried to find guys who don't watch pr0n for a study he was conducting on whether or not pr0n is good for you, but he couldn't find a single one of them.

He could have contacted the otherwise astute Chris Hedges, who hates pr0n, but he even he presumably had to watch a little bit in order to write the pr0n chapter in his book Empire of Illusion, in which he visited a pr0n convention and spoke with the late, great Nadia Styles, who hated being in pr0n and used drugs and alcohol to cope, which he of course put forth as proof that women couldn't possibly like being in pr0n. I'm sure they still like my money. Regardless, I'm sure that pr0n chapter was the easiest one in the book to write. I'd definitely be willing to travel to Las Vegas to interview pr0n chicks, if the TIs wanted to pay me to write a book-length rebuttal to that chapter. Let's just say I'd make sure they got their money's worth.

Similarly, I'm assuming that Noam Chomsky's anti-pr0n stance is part of an elaborate ruse to hide an epic pr0n habit. He seems too smart for that kind of thing - and obviously he spends a significant amount of time alone with his computer. He probably figured people wouldn't take him seriously as an intellectual, if they thought he did a lot of fapping. Jumping to the defense of Holocaust deniers is one thing, but he can't have people thinking he copes with the anguish of documenting the ethnic cleansing of East Timor (as if anyone gives a shit) by playing with himself, probably to videos of Asian chicks getting groped on the subway. Why he even bothers trying to front, I'm not sure. They won't feature his work in most American media outlets anyway.

Even if Noam Chomsky is sincere in his anti-pr0n stance, I might need to send him a link to the results of this Canadian guy's study. Is he on Twitter? For all we know, it could just be that he hasn't read any academic research to the contrary. I doubt this is the kind of work they do at MIT. All that work they do on computers or whatever, and it probably just serves to perpetuate the military-industrial complex. You'd a guy like him would be interested in hearing about work in a field that brings people together, at least virtually.

The Canadian guy who couldn't find any guys who don't watch pr0n, even in Canada, went forward with his study anyway, using guys who do watch pr0n. You'd think he'd need a "control group" in order for it to be a legit experiment, but who am I to question the work of a college professor? I barely graduated.

Findings:

1) I'm not the only guy who still wants to bang the same girls as he did back in the '90s, except that they probably look like shit now.

According to his research, said Lajeunesse, men search out pornography that relates to their earliest sexual fantasies, generally conceived at age 12 at the onset of puberty. They are not looking for new tricks to show off.

One student who participated in the study confided that he used to fantasize about orgies, but when presented such an opportunity he found himself unable to perform sexually.

2) Just because I like watching women get raped by guys wielding chloroform doesn't mean I'm gonna do it. I probably couldn't, anyway.

Lajeunesse also dismissed suggestions that avid pornography enthusiasts seek to imitate in life what they see on screens, or that they watch X-rated videos in an attempt to purge vile sexual impulses.

"Both arguments are worthless," he said. Men make a distinction between their real lives and sexual fantasies, he argued.

One respondent, who claimed to dream of seducing a porn star, explained why he would never date one, saying simply: "I couldn't introduce her to my parents."

So, to recap: All that shit you hear about guys who don't watch pr0n, and how guys who do watch pr0n are pervs is some ol' bullshit. It's been proven scientifically. Anyone who tells you otherwise probably has something to hide.

Porn-loving men ruin sex study [The Sun]

All men watch porn, and it is not bad for them [The Independent]

(both via)