Man Tip: Have as many kids as you want
Ideally, you shouldn't have any kids at all, or only one or two. But if you have more than that, there's a certain sweet spot where each one doesn't cost you any more money.
Where exactly that sweet spot lies probably depends on how much money you make. Basically, it's the point where the government begins to garnish as much of your take home pay as the law allows them to. It might be after your first few kids, or, if you're a bum like me, it might be after that very first one.
Speaking of broke ninjas, this guy Desmond Hatchett is only 29 and has 21 kids. At the rate he's going he'll have a kid for every year he's been alive by the end of next year. There was a segment on the evening news down in Tennessee about his multiple daily appearances at the local courthouse. Apparently, the family court system down there basically exists to listen to complaints from his numerous babies' mothers.
The thing is, the state's only allowed to take half of his check. And I can't imagine he makes very much money anyway. So, every time he has another kid, each baby's mother gets that much less money. They say each one of them is supposed to get anywhere from $25 to $309 a month, I guess depending on how many of his kids they have, or whether or not their lawyer was Jewish. Roffle. But once his check is split so many ways, some women end up with as little as $1.98. Damn,
Given how little welfare pays, I wouldn't be surprised if it costs tax payers way more to keep having these hearings than it does to keep his umpteen future criminals in Similac. But you know how women like to complain about shit.
No but really. As jimbrah izrael likes to point out, if you were the first woman to get caught up in some shit like this, maybe I could feel sorry for you. Come up to St. Louis and I'll give you $5 on GP. I hate to see a little kid suffer. But if you're baby's mother #2 through 21, especially that last 10 or so, that's what you get.
Check the local news segment for yourself after the jump. (via)
