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May 2009

May 29, 2009

My new theme music

E-thug

It's called "Anonymous Man (Mind of a Blogger)," it's by Illnature (me neither), and it's pretty much the story of my life, in a nutshell.

"I watch Internet porn, and beat my dick. Then I hop on these blogs and critique your shit. I'm a coward, go to jail I'll be tossing salads. Talk shit about y'all cuz I ain't got no talent!"

Hilarious shit. Though I should point out that Chamillionaire had the same idea a long time ago...

Checkit: Illnature "Anonymous Man (Mind of a Blogger)" [zSHARE via Fake Shore Drive]

Star & Buc Wild > Jay Smooth

The one after the jump, about how he might consider banging a black chick, is pretty good, too.

Star & Buc Wild @ Vlad TV

Continue reading "Star & Buc Wild > Jay Smooth" »

May 28, 2009

Man Tip: Have as many kids as you want

Desmond

Ideally, you shouldn't have any kids at all, or only one or two. But if you have more than that, there's a certain sweet spot where each one doesn't cost you any more money.

Where exactly that sweet spot lies probably depends on how much money you make. Basically, it's the point where the government begins to garnish as much of your take home pay as the law allows them to. It might be after your first few kids, or, if you're a bum like me, it might be after that very first one.

Speaking of broke ninjas, this guy Desmond Hatchett is only 29 and has 21 kids. At the rate he's going he'll have a kid for every year he's been alive by the end of next year. There was a segment on the evening news down in Tennessee about his multiple daily appearances at the local courthouse. Apparently, the family court system down there basically exists to listen to complaints from his numerous babies' mothers.

The thing is, the state's only allowed to take half of his check. And I can't imagine he makes very much money anyway. So, every time he has another kid, each baby's mother gets that much less money. They say each one of them is supposed to get anywhere from $25 to $309 a month, I guess depending on how many of his kids they have, or whether or not their lawyer was Jewish. Roffle. But once his check is split so many ways, some women end up with as little as $1.98. Damn,

Given how little welfare pays, I wouldn't be surprised if it costs tax payers way more to keep having these hearings than it does to keep his umpteen future criminals in Similac. But you know how women like to complain about shit.

No but really. As jimbrah izrael likes to point out, if you were the first woman to get caught up in some shit like this, maybe I could feel sorry for you. Come up to St. Louis and I'll give you $5 on GP. I hate to see a little kid suffer. But if you're baby's mother #2 through 21, especially that last 10 or so, that's what you get.

Check the local news segment for yourself after the jump. (via)

Continue reading "Man Tip: Have as many kids as you want" »

Hip-hop bloggers' new favorite hoo-er

Rosa

Damn it if this hasn't been a big week for hispanic women!

I've been seeing this woman's video pop up on a lot of different hip-hop blogs. She could be well on her way to becoming the next Ashley Logan, but minus the herpes. Though I'm not even sure if she intends to pursue a career as a video ho and/or mixtape rapper's girlfriend.

I first saw this video the other day at the Smoking Section, but I didn't bother to DL and have a look, because I know they were big on those pictures of those Panamanian cricket players, which I thought were kinda weird and kinda disgusting, and come to find out they were fake.

Anyhoo, this woman's name is Rosa Acosta. I consulted the Google, and apparently she's a model/actress, with a background in ballet. Which is to say she's a hoo-er who happens to be extremely flexible. I can dig it!

Continue reading "Hip-hop bloggers' new favorite hoo-er" »

Quoted: Kanye West on the pointlessness of intellectualism

Kanye

I saw a buncha people jawing about this yesterday on Twitter.

Kanye's out doing press for that book he was selling on his website/scam travel agency, which is now available in stores, and part of that has involved talking shit about reading.

To wit:

"Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed," West said. "I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book's autograph.

"I am a proud non-reader of books. I like to get information from doing stuff like actually talking to people and living real life," he said.

Yeah, he's got a book of his own in stores, but it's only got 52 pages, and some of them are blank and some of them only have a few words on them.

Checkit: "Proud non-reader" Kanye West turns author [Yahoo! News via Hip Hop Is Read]

Step aside, D'Angelo

Pretty Ricky got this. No fishsticks.

May 27, 2009

Should I go to Atlanta to score with this woman?

Deliz

Speaking of Puerto Rican women with inspirational life stories, here's the latest DM I received from that crazy woman from the comments section:

[phone number redacted] we just got approached by QD3 (BEEF series) want 2meet u & do interview/Date -Win Win for both w/ nice PIX 2 SHOW DA GUYS;-)

I guess she wants me to call her about setting up a date, to be filmed by Quincy Jones' halfrican son. Why would I want to do some shit like that?

And I checked her site just now, and I see she's got a post talking about how I hate Puerto Rican women, because I don't want to travel to Atlanta to get with her. Meanwhile, I don't even know any Puerto Rican women! It just doesn't seem like any of this is on the up and up.

Shit, I'd walk to Atlanta, if I thought all this was was an opportunity to score with a smokin' hot Puerto Rican broad.

What do you fruits think?

Jello Biafra on Soft Focus with Ian Svenonious

Soft Focus with Ian Svenonius is a series on vbs.tv, where I got those videos of the woman with the biggest ass in Brazil. In this episode, Svenonius speaks with Jello Biafra, former lead singer of the Dead Kennedys, free speech activist, secret hip-hop pioneer, so on and so forth.

Parts 2 through 4 after the jump.

Continue reading "Jello Biafra on Soft Focus with Ian Svenonious" »

Ethnically ambiguous emo cam hoo-er


Watch live video from Michelle Zen's Channel on Justin.tv

As mentioned in today's post for XXL, about Chris Brown, justin.tv is filled with emo cam hoo-ers. Of course, most of them look like shit. Here's one of the best ones I've found so far. Not that I've been looking...

Related: Chris Brown: Not a monster? [XXL]

How did Kelly Divine's ass get so big?

Kelly

Do black guys seek white women with huge asses to have sex with, or does having sex with black guys cause white women to grow huge asses?

The former seems like the reasonable, scientifically tenable answer, but in this interview with Black Pacino of the blog The Spizzy, Kelly Divine suggests it might be the latter.

To wit:

Pacino: Yay!!  With a booty like that did you have a lot of Black dudes hittin’ on you when you were coming up? You know how we love “junk in the trunk.”

Divine: Yes! That and because I grew up in Chester (Pennsylvania) which is a predominately Black neighborhood. I think all the brotherly love is what made my butt get bigger… my ass is an attention whore!

Other topics discussed include how she likes to be banged when she's not on film, and whether or not she's willing to admit to having a troubled upbringing.

Checkit: Kelly Divine Intervention [The Spizzy]

And after the jump is that video she did for World Star.

Continue reading "How did Kelly Divine's ass get so big?" »




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