ByronCrawford.com

Obama Fried Chicken > Kennedy Fried Chicken

Yes, that's a real fried chicken place in Brooklyn.

Checkit: Obama's Secret Recipe? [The Smoking Gun via Shabooty]

Sup dawg, I heard you like pr0n

...so I put some pr0n on the Internets so you could jerk off while updating your Twitter.

I know a lot of rappers are getting into the Internets these days, so here's a tip: When picking a username for Twitter, make sure you don't use the same name you use to upload weird pr0n videos to another site. Otherwise, you could end up like Xzibit.

The other day, I was searching the Internets for ways I could be a better asset to my community, and I happened to stumble upon a site that had a lot of pr0nographic videos. I clicked on one of them, just to make sure it wasn't anything I needed to report, and I noticed the username, mrxtothaz, sounded familiar.

Yep, it was Xzibit, whom I follow on Twitter. Though I'll point out, for the sake of my fragile egg shell ego, that he was following me first. Then I saw he was following me, so I started following him. In fact, a lot of celebrities like to keep tabs on Bol. If only I commanded the interest of pr0n stars that ?uestlove does. Recently, I was checking Carmella Bing's Twitter, because - okay, I'm not gonna lie, I find her adorable - and I noticed ?uestlove is one of the few people she's following. Just like Sasha Grey.

I wonder if ?uestlove has ever banged a pr0n star. I'd ask, but he'd probably just tell me any ol' shit, to shut me up and send me on my way. ?uestlove has been known to bullshit people. One time I met him backstage at a show and he gave his number. No homo. The next day, I called and a woman picked up, like, "Sorry, son. There's no ?uestlove who lives here." That same night, I met ?uestlove's mom (7ft tall and a total grandmilf), and she told me he said I was his favorite writer. A while later, I mentioned it on okayplayer, and he claimed he never said such a thing. He must think I'm stupid.

But I digress.

Based on the videos posted to Xzibit's Dailymotion account, I'd say he's into extremes. Not any kind of extreme in particular - just extremes in general: women with huge asses, women with huge cans, women that are just plain huge. Pretty much the only thing that's not there is a normal sized women. Some of it's downright scary, but some of it's just magic.

Checkit: Xzibit's Dailymotion account (NSFW, natch)

Did 5-0 cross the line here?

Should the police be allowed to taser a woman for having what this black chick I used to work with liked to call a stank attitude? Yesterday, I stumbled upon a video of 5-0 doing just that, and I wasn't sure what to think.

On the one hand, it's the kind of woman whom you'd like to see a lot worse happen to than just a taser. She's all back talking the cop, and rolling her eyes, and waving her finger in his face. She reminds me of some of the worst women I have to deal with at the BGM.

You get the idea she would have eventually complied with the cop, but she wanted to dictate the course and the pace of the entire process, for the sake of her own ego. Women love to do shit like that.

One time, I had this woman who just refused to leave my line, because I wouldn't return something. She conducted her own mini sit-in, MLK-style. I shouldn't say this, even though it really happened, but there was a lady standing behind her with a baby, and she was obviously getting tired of holding it, and part of me couldn't help but hope that she'd drop it and its brains would spill out onto the floor, just so it'd be the other woman's fault.

I know, that's just awful. Working in the service industry will do that to you. I've thought worse things than that.

Finally, I ended up moving to a different line. Then she went and yelled at my manager and then threw a bag of candy at my manager's head, which caused her to start crying. (She's one of those managers who cries once a day. Any job with a lot of women has a woman just like that. That's why women don't and shouldn't get paid as much as men.)

But I digress.

Usually I find it funny when someone gets tasered, let alone such an ignorant beeyotch. This video? Not so much. I didn't find it disturbing in the sense that she didn't have it coming, but it kinda reminded me of that episode of Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel where they showed you what happens to race horses when they break a leg and their gism isn't valuable enough for stud purposes.

Call me crazy, but I think it would have been a bit more humane if the cop had just cold cocked her. But, alas, that would have been considered abuse, and a taser isn'tt. Check the video for yourself after the jump and see if you don't agree. (via)

Stoupe - Decalogue: Album Review

Stoupe, Decalogue (Babygrande, 2009)
I wasn't as crazy about that last Jedi Mind Tricks albuim. But part of it was because I don't find that one guy, who's back in the group now, to be a very good rapper. This is more of a showcase for the producer, Stoupe, whose work I generally enjoy.

More shots fired at Kanye: "I heard you taking dick in your butt"

I thought Nore apoligized for that last shit he said about Kanye?

The pr0n star Roxy Reynolds recently did a video with Murs. But it wasn't very entertaining, so I didn't bother posting it or otherwise mentioning it.

Previously: Noreaga on Kanye: "Ain't nothing wrong with loving cock"

It's a public misconception that Batman and Robin got along all the time

Speaking of the laugh riot that is schizophrenia, check this audio of Tracy Morgan on some radio morning show. It might even be funnier than his appearances on Stern.

via The Sound of Young America by way of Sablesma

Phonte disses hipster rappers on Twitter

And then he goes on from there, including more shots at Kanye. I've captured the entire thing (to date), for posterity, after the jump.

dead prez "Bigger Than Hip-Hop '09" and "Fallen Soldierz"

The other day, I caught these new dead prez mp3s over at Ian the Canadian's. Then today I see there's a news item over at XXL about how they're putting out a new mixtape, pictured above, with Green Lantern.

It's supposed to be produced by Green Lantern in its entirety, which means that a) it might not be very good, and b) these two tracks, both produced by Beatnick and K-Salaam (me neither), might not be on it.

But who knows with dead prez. Remember when they put out that anti-Obama record around the time of the election, and there was supposed to be a new album coming soon? I don't even think the video for that turned up until a while after the election.

That's why I don't even mess around with weed like that.

Checkit: Bigger Than Hip-Hop '09 | Fallen Soldierz [zSHARE via Ian]

AIG and the Big Takeover

Matt Taibbi on Democracy Now!

If you haven't already, you should check out his piece on AIG in the new Rolling Stone. It's not as entertaining as some of his other shit, but it goes pretty deep as far as explaining how the economy got all fucked the fuck up. It's like those great episodes of This American Life. My bad, if you have no idea what I'm talking about.

You know what is entertaining though? His repsonse to the guy who did that op-ed in the Times the other day whining about how he didn't get his fair share of the bailout money, and so he's donating his retention bonus (after it gets taxed out the ass anyway) to charity.

Part 2/2 after the jump.

Meghan McCain > Khloe Kardashian

According to Last Week's Poll
The other day, I stumbled upon the picture, above right, of Khloe Kardashian at an event all hugged up with Young Jeezy, as if Jeezy was about to get his Ray J on.

It was obvious to me what was going on. None of the Kardashian sisters are particularly thin, but Khloe is a bit too chubby to appear in any magazines white people read. There's only so much you can do with Photoshop. So they're gonna have her date Young Jeezy, or one of these other rappers, and maybe she can get in Hip Hop Weekly or some shit. I wouldn't be surprised if she goes over quite well with the hip-hop community. You know a lot of us like a woman with a little extra baggage.

Speaking of which, you guys know I caught Meghan McCain on an episode of the Rachel Maddow Show recently, and I got a little bit excited. I mentioned on Twitter that I could use her a little bit less chubby, and the next thing you know everyone was talking about the fact that she could stand to lose a few pounds. Not that I wouldn't take her Billy Joel-style, i.e. just the way she is. I'm just saying.

Last week's poll had to do with which one you'd rather bang, Khloe Kardashian or Meghan McCain. Check the results.

Which would you rather bang?

1. Meghan McCain (71.6%)
2. Khloe Kardashian (28.4%)

Total Votes: 380

I was surprised to see Khloe Kardashian get whomped by Meghan McCain the way she did. I don't know if it was my cosign or what. After all, Khloe Kardashian has been cosigned (amongst other things) by Young Jeezy.

It just goes to show a couple of things. First of all (and perhaps obviously), Bol > Young Jeezy. Second, and this one's for the ladies, I think this proves once and for all that there coud be a future in getting with Bol. As my former colleague Sickamore likes to say, I could make you famous.

Don't let me find out there's a fourth Kardashian sister that's even worse-looking.