This is why it's important to show up to the polls

When I was about 20 years old, I went to this family reunion on an island off the state of Texas, then the next week we drove from there to Florida, across whatever that highway is that runs across that part of the South. Pimp C would know, but he's been dead for a while now.

We ended up spending the night somewhere in Louisiana, and I remember, when we pulled off of the highway, we encountered two motels, on either side of the highway. One had a big sign out front that said something along the lines of, "The one on this side of the street is owned by an American."

No bullshit.

We ended up going to the one on the other side of the street, because it looked like it might be cleaner (you know you can't be taking too many chances with these motels), and wouldn't you know, it was run by some damn Indian people.

It hadn't occurred to me until just now that Louisiana might be overrun by Indian people. How else to explain the fact that they've got an Indian governor? Politics aside, you'd think a state would have to be 51% Indian to elect an Indian governor. But maybe I've just spent too much time working in retail. In all likelihood, there probably just wasn't a very good turnout the year Bobby Jindal was elected.

The other day, I read a story in the New York Times about this neighborhood in Queens that's getting overrun, and I'm pretty sure something similar's happening not too far from where I went to high school. And I woke up this morning, and I saw everyone was talking about this godawful speech Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal gave last night. I was at work last night and didn't get to see it. I still haven't seen it, but I heard he sounded like the guy who plays the page on 30 Rock.

The Republicans probably sent him out there thinking he might have a chance at becoming their own Barack Obama. He's a minority, and healthy-looking, and was a Rhodes Scholar. If he doesn't get the nomination in 2012, he could become Fox News' equivalent of Rachel Maddow. Only thing is, no one thought to check whether or not he could deliver a speech.

And now that we know he can't, he might be double fucked, in that everyone in Louisiana is gonna know they've got an Indian governor. Already, I heard someone altered his Wikipedia page to say that he was a terrorist. Mark my words: this is probably gonna be his last term.

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After the jump is an hilarious video Sandra Rose found of Chris Matthews saying, "Oh, God," as Bobby Jindal took the stage last night. For all of the talk about Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow, Matthews might actually be my favorite. No homo. If you get a chance, you should check out the great profile of him in the Times Magazine last year.