President Bush pardoned John Forte

Remember? He was a weed carrier for the Fugees. At the height of that sample any ol' bullshit from the 1980s craze, circa '98-'99, he had a song out that sampled "99 Red Balloons."

Then one day he got caught walking through the airport with some ridonkulous amount of cocaine in a suitcase. He claimed he was just carrying it for somebody. Which would have been believable to me, given his line of work, but I guess the judge wasn't buying it.

Plus, because of those bullshit manditory minimum laws, the judge didn't have any choice but to lock him up for 14 years. People who actually kill people don't go to jail for 14 years. Er, at least not always. It was 2001 when he got locked up, so he's already done half that. Damn.

The New York Times, which referred to John Forte as a backup singer to Carly Simon, didn't say why in the world the president would pardon a random weed carrier.

My guess is that John Forte had been carrying for Carly Simon, and she felt guilty that he had to go away for 14 years just for trying to bring her her coke. So she appealed to President Bush, who was probably a big fan of hers from back in the day. They may have even done coke together back in the '70s.

Don't be surprised if you start seeing a lot of coke dealers getting pardoned in the next few weeks. This could be a hot Christmas.

Checkit: Bush Issues 14 Pardons and Commutes 2 Sentences [New York Times]