Free Crystal Gunns

Former pr0n stars should be allowed to work as lunch ladies in elementary schools, right?

I'd definitely say so.

What's the worse that could possibly come of it? It's not like they're gonna be acting in pr0n while they're handing a kid his tray lunch. I wouldn't even necessarily give a shit if they continued their careers in pr0n while they served as lunch ladies, so long as the two don't overlap too much. I wouldn't want any lonely, Star Trek convention-looking guys, like Vinnie Paz, showing up to the school trying to have their copies of Alexis Texas Is Buttwoman signed while my kid's trying to have his lunch.

Otherwise though, I could see how the kids might benefit from being in the presence of such beautiful women. Something tells me that, if I'd had Gianna Michaels feeding me ravioli every day from the ages of 4 to 11, I'd be more motivated to do something with my life besides rolling off of the couch at 11 and spending the rest of the afternoon reading and writing. Like selling poorly put together children's shoes, or trying to defraud foreign governments. Something my parents could be proud of.

I'm actually more concerned with the idea of girls quitting pr0n, unless they just get old. There's nothing worse than when your favorite pr0n star just up and disappears. Then you can hardly appreciate her work without wondering if she's lying dead in a dumpster somewhere. Though if you're like me, you somehow find a way to persevere.

After the jump is a clip I found on, where else, World Star Hip Hop about this woman Louisa Tuck who used to act in pr0n films under the name Crystal Gunns. Now she's a lunchlady in an elementary school. Some of the parents are upset. But the district's not gonna fire her just because she used to be in pr0n, because then she could probably sue. Sweet.