September 17, 2008
Jake One - White Van Music: Album Review
Jake One, White Van Music (Rhymesayers)
Jake One is a G-Unit beat-maker of some standing. Which is why it’s kinda strange that Young Buck is on here. Will 50 Cent through a bitch-fit and throw him on his ear? Time will tell! For now he’s blessed us with his debut LP featuring a whole bunch of his beats. He doesn’t rap because he’s white, and white people can’t rap. Is this more “King of the Decks” or “We Global”. Let’s get it poppin’!
I’M COMING (feat. Black Milk & Nottz)
If I didn’t know better I’d say this was produced by Mr Milk himself, it’s got his usual dirty groove going on. In fact, I don’t know better. But then what would Jake One have contributed? Doesn’t stop DJ Khaled I guess…
GANGSTA BOY (feat M.O.P)
Not perhaps the best M.O.P. record, and the beat is not perhaps best suited to Fizzy Wo’ and Billy Danze’s style. But it still bangs pretty hard.
THE TRUTH (feat Freeway & Brother Ali)
My ‘review’ copy seems to not have any cursing on it. How very disappointing. I never really rated Brother Ali, too white, but he spits some hot flames here about poverty. I can dig it.
TURN IT DOWN (Interlude)
GOD LIKE (feat D. Black)
It’s 2008 and ninjas are still trying to emulate The Blueprint’s production. Was it really that good? I guess it was.
BLESS THE CHILD (feat Little Brother)
Just like all the other boring Little Brother songs. Now there’s a duo that might benefit from being shot nine times. So long as they survive. Anyone?
OH REALLY (feat. Posdnuos & Slug)
I guess Jake One felt like he needed to ape each artists’ usual style of beats, so the beat here sounds just like something of off “The Grind Date”. Slug laments fake breasts, I hear ya.
TRAP DOOR (feat MF DOOM)
So here Jake mimics Madlib, to some success. Sounds like an Axelrod loop, and DOOM does his typically entertaining abstract rap thang.
DEAD WRONG (feat Young Buck)
Way to lose a G-Unit contract mon frere! Boring diss-rap from Buck, but whatcha gonna do?
KISSIN THE CURB (feat Bishop Lamont & Busta)
Why hasn’t Busta released his new album yet? I heard he got dropped like a bad habit after a spot of ‘roid rage put him in hot water with his white slave masters. What a little bitch.
HOW WE RIDE (feat Freeway)
Just like every other Freeway record, which is to say somewhere between mediocre and genius.
WHITE VAN (feat. Alchemist, Evidence & Prodigy)
Everything P touches turns to gold, musically at least. Plus Ev and Al don’t rap too bad for white guys. I can’t hate on this one bit.
BIG HOMIE STYLE (feat J. Pinder, GMK & Spaceman)
Who the fuck are these dudes? All these tracks are ok, but a little samey after a while. You’d be excused for losing interest.
SCARED (feat Blueprint)
GREAT SOUND (Interlude)
GET ‘ER DONE (feat MF DOOM)
This isn’t quite as hot as the other DOOM joint on this. It’s ok, but we all expect more from the Super Villain.
FEELIN’ MY SHIT (feat Casual)
I’d rather not ‘feel his shit’. I guess this shouldn’t be taken literally.
SOIL RAPS (feat. Keak Da Sneak)
Yes, I will incur the hate of The Bay, but damn if y’all don’t sound retarded. And I mean that literally.
GLOW (feat Elzhi & Royce da 5'9)
Am I the only person on the internets who finds Elzhi and Royce boring rhymers? Yes, they’re accomplished, but they just keep waffling on with no discernable point to it at all.
An interlude about dead people.
HOME (feat Vitamin D, C Note, Maine & Ish)
One for the ladeez, very Little Brother. Never heard of any of these emcees, but they’re no more boring then half of the Z-list emcees included on this LP.
COMMENTS: Well, certainly more DJ Revolution than it is Khaled, with some pretty hot joints thrown in amongst the general Blueprint-apeing sludge. Still, in this day and age we’ve gotta take all the real hip-hop we can. So in that sense it’s a success.
BEST TRACKS: I’M COMING, WHITE VAN, TRAP DOOR, THE TRUTH
BONUS VIDEO: White Van Music promo
Byron Crawford a/k/a Bol is the celebrated author of several books, most recently NaS Lost: A Tribute to the Little Homey.
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