Bol vs. the Volcano

When I saw a commercial on TV the other day for the new Volcano Taco at Taco Bell, I knew I was gonna have to try it out, even though the idea of it didn't strike me as all that tempting. I'm just committed to Taco Bell like that.

Plus, I'm sure many people don't find the idea of Taco Bell in general all that tempting. I'm not one of those people. Even now that there's a bunch of Chipotles here in the STL, I still find myself making a run for the border about once a week, or at least once every other week.

Who cares whether or not it's authentic Mexican food? The shit's tastier than a mofo. And if Mexico was really so full of good ideas, why would all of its citizens be trying to sneak into the US?

So this new Volcano Taco, in case you've yet to see the commercial, is basically a regular crunchy taco, except it comes in a red shell and it's got some kind of spicy cheese sauce on it. If you notice, pretty much everything Taco Bell has come up with is just a different combination of the same few ingredients.

It's part of that new value menu Taco Bell has got, and I'm thinking it might cost the same as a regular taco. (I'm so classy, I don't actually know how much a taco costs at Taco Bell. I just roll up to the window and say, "Charge it to the game.")

Which would seem like an incredible deal (relatively speaking), and one of the better ideas Taco Bell has come up with in a minute... except that it's not that good.

You'd think Taco Bell could hardly go wrong adding some sort of spicy cheese sauce to a taco, in the sense that, what menu item at Taco Bell wouldn't be improved by adding some extra melted cheese? That cinnamon bullshit?

However, that isn't really the case with the Volcano Taco. Having both the spicy cheese sauce and the regular, shredded cheese on a taco is kinda weird. The spicy shit just seems kinda superfluous. You could just as easily add spice to a taco by pouring some motherfucking fire sauce on it.

And the red shell, even though I'm assuming it's not supposed to taste any different from a regular taco shell, didn't taste quite right to me. It tasted more like a corn chip than a taco shell. A subtle difference perhaps, but it's one you're bound to notice, if you've eaten there as often as I have.