Denny's rips off the slinger

Seriously, how in the fuck is Denny's gonna rip off the slinger and try to pass it off as the invention of some bullshit rock group?

Earlier today, I came across this story about how Denny's is enlisting rock groups to create their own signature menu items, and I thought to myself, "Damn, this shit might actually be worse than Tag Records."

At least in the case of Tag Records, it's a bunch of groups no one has ever heard of, who probably wouldn't have merited a deal with a major label anyway, if it wasn't for the largess of a motherfucking deodorant company.

With this Denny's shit, it's groups that are already established, including the Eagles of Death Metal, Taking Back Sunday, and the All American Rejects. And the product is even worse than deodorant. At least Tag a guy might be able to use to help get some stank; Denny's is where truckers and homeless guys go to take a shower.

Then I got to the part that describes what comes on the All American Rejects' breakfast dish:

The All-American Rejects (pictured above) went to their local Oklahoman Denny's kitchen to create their hometown favorite concoction with a little rock star flavor -- "The All-American S.O.S." The guys took the reigns with a plate of grilled Texas toast and hashbrowns and added the works to it with hamburger, cheese, grilled onions and sausage gravy topping it all off.

The fuck?

All that is is a slinger, except with gravy instead of chili (which is a common variation on the slinger here in the STL), and with Texas toast instead of eggs. Which is just gay. How are you gonna substitute Texas toast for eggs on a slinger? Did Denny's insist they do that so that people wouldn't complain that they ripped off the slinger?

The press material for this garbage, excerpted above, makes it seem as if this is a hometown delicacy from the Rejects' native Oklahoma. But if you check the world's most accurate encyclopedia, it doesn't mention the slinger as being available anywhere outside of Missouri, other than one diner in Chicago. And I'm pretty sure even that's a recent development.

It's obvious what's going on here: Denny's is trying to co-opt a St. Louis culinary tradition (right up there with combining Chinese food and white bread), and they've enlisted a sorry-ass failed rock group to run the interference.

This is wrong on so many different levels.

Checkit: Is Denny's Rockstar Menu a Sign of the Apocalypse? [Listening Post]