ByronCrawford.com

Biggie resurfaces, on Twitter

Speaking of the Notorious B.I.G., a site called >bounce/oz has an interview with a guy who pretends to be Biggie on Twitter.

Here's a bit from the interview:

1. You’ve been quiet for a bit. When’s the next record coming out?

Poppa’s just takin his time to get his tracks straight. To tell you the truth, I’m talking to a couple of labels, so I ain’t sure who’s gonna release my new shit. Spendin’ a lot of time in the studio, though, cuttin’ shit up. Puffy ain’t around much, so it’s going a little slower than I thought.

2. I often see on your Twitter that you’re “ignoring Ma$e’s calls”. What’s wrong with that kid?

I know he’s Puffy’s man, but damn. I ain’t got nothin else to say about that. Motherfuckers ain’t actin right.

3. You still cool with Cease and Kim?

Word, my fam is fucked up. Cease and Kim in court?!? That shit ain’t right. But all my crew still my blood. Oh, and everybody know I’m still tappin’ Kim on the regular. Yes, she do look like she Chinese now, but her booty still fine.

4. Have you talked to Puff about his rapping? Or his dancing, for that matter?

Look, Puffy concentrating on other things. He got that raisin TV show, his clothing line for white people, some vodka bullshit, and threatening to kill people if they don’t vote. And on top of all that, he tryin’ to marry a 14 year old. So he ain’t got time for you triflin’ reporters talkin bout “he can’t dance,” or “he can’t rap.”

5. What is your drink of choice these days? Moët still a favorite?

Still a big Moët fan. But lately I been tryin’ out these new cups of coffee with chocolate at a place up in Bed Stuy called Starbucks. That shit’s my motherfuckin drink.

Check the rest of the interview at >bounce/oz:

The Notorious B.I.G. Resurfaces, Likes Ring Dings

I found something at Borders

There's probably no way I can say this without coming off a little bit creepy, so I'm gonna go ahead and say it: Smooth magazine (one of these magazines with a lot of pictures of video hoes - like a downmarket version of King magazine) has stepped its game up when it comes to the breast size of its models.

I was in a Borders yesterday looking for magazines I might read on the way up to Chicago this weekend for Lollapalooza (word on the street is that Barack Obama and I are gonna be in the same building, so to speak), and I noticed there were two issues of Smooth on the rack. One was the regular magazine, and one must have been some sort of swimsuit issue.

Anyhoo, both of them had girls with ridonkulously large, presumably real boobs on the cover. In fact, they may have been the same broad. They both looked pretty similar, but both magazines had those plastic bags around them. So I couldn't investigate any further.

I know sometimes magazines will come in a plastic bag because there isn't anything particularly worth a shit on the inside, but the cover makes it look as if there might be. But I know sometimes magazines will come in a plastic bag because there's something mad filthy on the inside, and they don't want to run the risk of some kid walking by picking it up and having his life changed for the worse.

Seeing a woman that attractive at such a young age can ruin a man.

I was hoping this was gonna be the latter. And I even thought about just ripping the plastic off and taking a look, but I decided to refrain. Two years ago, it wouldn't even have been a question. But I figured it just wouldn't look right for a man of my status in the hip-hop blogosphere.

It's not like I don't have the $5.

I would've just bought a copy, but I was concerned that the actual stories in this damn thing might be the worst shit possible. And anyway, it's not like I can just whip out a copy of Smooth magazine on the bus. I could fuck around and end up having to register as a sex offender.

Fortunately, I was able to find the pictures of the girl on the cover of the actual magazine, Faren, on the Internets. I've posted them below for your viewing pleasure.

What do you fruits think? I wouldn't put this broad in the same league as the late, great Esther Baxter in the looks category. But her cans seem to be just as big, if not bigger, despite the fact that she seems to be carrying less body weight. Though obviously that's not gonna be an issue for some of you brothers!

Holy shit... new Biggie!

Sez the guy I got it from:

All original versions of Biggie songs that didn't make albums because of uncleared samples and all that shit. Trust me this is not something to pass up. Get it asap. Burn straight to cd, its how Biggie originally wanted it!

Who knows how legit this shit is, if at all. I DLed just now, and I'm about to have a look. Nhjic.

Checkit: Biggie - Ready to Die Originals [The Hip Hop & Vinyl Giant via Grandgood]

Some people need to be foreclosed on

Leave it up to black people to somehow lose a house they didn't even have to pay for in the first place.

Courtesy of some young guy in the comments section, here's a story from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution the other day about a family that did just that.

Things couldn't look better three years ago for Milton and Patricia Harper of Lake City, who giddily accepted the keys to a small castle, plus enough money to pay taxes on it for 25 years. It was a product of "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition."

Now, the Clayton County house is a two-story, turreted example of how things can go wrong. It's in foreclosure.

The Harpers used the house at 5489 Ahyoka Drive as collateral for a $450,000 loan, Clayton County mortgage records show. Records at the law firm handling foreclosures for the lender, JPMorgan Chase Bank, say it is in foreclosure.

Damn.

Supposedly, the $450,000 went into a construction business that's just didn't work out. But let's keep it real: What kind of black people do you know who would take half a million dollars from a loan against a house they got for free in the first place and put the entire amount into a business venture? Lumber don't cost that much money.

Nah, I'd be willing to bet a lot of that money ended up at Red Lobster, and at a local Cadillac dealership.

Checkit: 'Extreme Makeover' home in Atlanta in foreclosure [AJC]

Naledge's mugshot

As they say over at Crunk and Disorderly, I cannot and I will not.

via The Smoking Section

Related: Kidz in the jail [XXL]

UPDATE: After the jump is a statement from Kidz in the Hall's manager.

Kells done did it again!

Relax, he hasn't peed on any children since he's been acquitted. Er, as far as I know, he hasn't. But earlier today or late last night or whatever, the new R. Kelly album, 12 Play: Fourth Quarter, leaked.

I think it was supposed to be out by now, but it ended up getting pushed back. The single from it, "Hair Braider," didn't really connect. Plus, I think his handlers wanted that whole, him being acquitted for making a video of himself taking a piss on a 13 year-old girl thing to die down a bit before they put any new product out in the marketplace.

Which, as a guy with a degree in marketing, I'd say was a strong move. Only thing is, they should have known one of these Africans was gonna get his grubby little hands on the album. As we speak, there's probably a room full of chinamen printing up copies. Expect this shit to be all over the streets of New York by tomorrow morning, if it isn't already.

I heard about the leak when I woke up at the ass crack of noon this morning, but I didn't bother seeking out my own copy, since I'm not that huge a fan of the guy's music, except in cases where there's a humor element, like that song "Real Talk" from his last album, which I posted here, or the rare occasion when he comes up with something that's genuinely brilliant, like the "Ignition" remix.

That being said, I'm thinking about actually going and buying a physical copy, not because I have any interest in R. Kelly's music, or because I necessarily support his right to take a leak on underage girls,  but I am a strong supporter of the get off the next man's dick movement.

Fast forward to several hours later, i.e. just now, when I was alerted to the fact that someone has posted audio of the entire album to YouTube. It looks like it might have been Kells himself (does illiterate also mean computer illiterate?) or someone from his label, but I'm not sure. It doesn't necessarily make sense for me why the label would do that, but what do I know?

I don't know if there's a "Real Talk" amongst these new joints, but the closest might be the song "Might Be Mine." As you might have guessed, it's a song (supposedly a true story) about how Kells had sex with a stripper, and now she's pregnant, and he's not sure whether it's his. But it could be, because he definitely blew his load up in her.

Necro is saving hip-hop

Speaking of white rappers, Necro just put out an uncut video to help promote his new album, The Sexorcist, and, holy crap, this might be my new favorite uncut video evar.

Whereas in a lot of these uncut videos, the girls either look like complete and utter dog shit (like in that Trillville video), or they don't really get that naked (like in the infamous "Tip Drill" video, featuring Ruben Studdard's new wife), the girls in this new Necro video, "Who's Your Daddy?," are both attractive and naked as shit.

I've seen better-looking girls, but I've never seen better-looking girls doing any shit like this!

The secret? I'm pretty sure most of these broads are pr0n actresses. In fact, I'm gonna lie, a few of them I recognize from... uggh, my lost and reckless youth. Which continues to this day. There's also some guy pr0n actors in the background. Not that I was checking in the background to see if there were any guys. I just happened to notice. Um, nullus.

The bottom line: You're gonna wanna watch this video. Shit, go out and cop the album while you're at it, if this is the kind of fine work Necro is gonna be contributing. (I hope Asher Roth is taking notes. His song "Rub on Your Titties" is just crying out to receive the proper video treatment.)

Check the video after the jump. Also after the jump, courtesy of my favorite website evar, World Star Hip Hop, are videos of that BangBros episode with N.O.R.E. in it, and a radio interview with DJ Kay Slay's "model" Ashley Logan, who has a body so ridonkulous I'd be willing to bet $20 she's an octaroon. Not that I'm complaining. As far as I'm concerned, all girls should be octaroons

Asher Roth: The Greenhouse Effect: Album Review

Asher Roth, The Greenhouse Effect (Mixtape, 2008)
I keep seeing this dude, supposedly the new great white hope, featured on sites that'll just feature all kinds of shit, so I figured I'd better investigate. Is this guy the next Eminem, or the next Brian Austin Green? Both?

• Asher Roth @ MySpace

Cynthia McKinney scores the coveted Professor Griff endorsement

Showing up on time for shit is not hip-hop

Just now, the Smoking Gun posted a shiteload more information re: the fact that Rick Ross used to be a cop that they unearthed by filing a Freedom of Information request with the Florida Department of Corrections, Rowss' former employer.

In Rick Ross' 86-page personnel file is all kinds of shit, including his application, which notes that he graduated from high school in 1994 (what kind of black guy graduates from high school?) and that he spent a year at some college in Georgia where he studied, you guessed it, criminal justice. Damn. There's also damning documents stating that he successfully passed a piss test, and that he'd be willing to shoot an inmate trying to escape.

The worst might be a certificate he received for perfect attendance. Is that what's hot in the streets, showing up on time for shit? Shit, I show up late for my job at least once a week, just to make sure no one gets the wrong idea about me.

And if there was any question as to whether the William Roberts (aka Billy Bob) who used to be a cop down in Florida is the same William Roberts as the coke rapper, in Rawls' personnel file lies a smoking gun, so to speak, as well as proof that his mom and his sister still live in the ghetto, presumably in the same building, just like Tony Yayo's mother:

On a personal history form, he identifies Tommie Ann Roberts as his mother and Tawanda Roberts as his sister. Both women are prominently thanked in the liner notes to Ross's 2008 album "Trilla." Additionally, according to Florida Secretary of State records, Tommie and Tawanda serve as officers of Rick Ross Charities, a not-for-profit whose current address is identical to the one Ross himself provided on his DoC employment records.

You'd think, with all of the money he's made cocaine trafficking, he could have gotten some actual office space for his fake charity. (The Smoking Gun ought to look into what happens when you mail a check to Rick Ross' mom's house in the ghetto. Shit, I might try that myself just to see. I can always write that off on my taxes. My guess: His mom probably takes that money to the casino.)

Checkit: Rick Ross's Jail Time [The Smoking Gun]