A few of R. Kelly's finer moments

To date, no one's written a really good story about all of the various times R. Kelly's been accused of having sex with underage girls and pissing on them and what have you. If someone wanted to pay me a shitload of money, I'd write one myself. But you know white people's stance on paying me a shitload of money.

The guy who writes the blog Hitsville went and compiled - from reports from reputable publications like the Chicago Sun-Times and Tribune - a list of facts re: legal issues Arruh has had due to his penchant for young trim. All told, he's been accused of having sex with 11 different, erm, minors. And that's not even counting all of the ones he hit who have never come forward. (Because the were pros, natch.)

To save you the hassle of reading the entire thing, though my guess is that some of you might want to, I've gone and put together a list of the ones I found most interesting.

The piss scene in the video:

In the tape, the singer called her by her first name; she called him “Daddy.” [...] Besides a variety of sex acts, the girl urinates on the floor at “Daddy’s” direction. “Daddy” then urinates into her mouth.

The time he married Aaliyah:

In 1994, Kelly married a 15-year old girl. Married! Her name was Aaliyah Haughton; she was a singer and a protege of Kelly’s with whom, associates have said, he was having an affair. Without telling her what was going on, Kelly arranged an impromptu wedding at a suburban Chicago hotel and then swept her toward a plane. Fortunately, the girl called her parents. They came and got her and, articles have said, the pair never saw each other again.

The time Arruh dodged a bullet:

In 1998, Kelly picked up a 16-year-old girl at the so-called “Rock ‘n’ Roll McDonalds” in Chicago, just north of the Loop. They had an affair that lasted until she told him she was pregnant, GQ reported; one of Kelly’s associates drove her to the abortion clinic.

That's wrong how he did his mother:

According to GQ, Kelly is estranged from his siblings and didn’t take care of his mother, who drove a beat-up car and could not pay her medical bills. After she died of cancer in 1997, Kelly declared that he had “found the lord”!

Arruh's personal hygiene issues:

GQ also reported that Kelly’s personal hygiene left a lot to be desired; he could wear the same clothes for a week, the story said. Said one of his former assistants: “I could never understand the women. I’d be like, ‘How could you be with him when he stink like that?’”

Could it have been the money? I'm just saying.

Checkit: R. Kelly SexFacts™ Complete—The Director’s Cut! [Hitsville]