Bud Light is dangerously close to water

According to Last Week's Poll
The other day, mofos got all asshurt when I mentioned - in a post about things I might have to cop with my $600 economic stimulus - that I was thinking about picking up a case of Bud Light.

People acted like I said I was going to a Jill Scott concert or some shit. It was insane.

I guess I probably could've opted for something a bit more classy than Bud Light, but the truth of the matter is that I like light beer. Call me crazy.

Last week's poll had to do with whether or not Bud Light is the sweet taste of freedom. Here are the results.

American beer, like Bud Light?

1. Dangerously close to water (191 votes)
2. The sweet taste of freedom (80 votes)

Really? Wow. I honestly expected the results of this one to be basically the opposite. I suppose I should have known better on a site where people have been known to front on Jessica Biel.

What can I say, other than I'm shocked that this site is apparently read by such fruits.

Comments

[buck jones pony]

man up and get some natural ice or a ice house

[Plug]

SMH @ anybody drinking anything that is not coronas or heinikens

[Plug]

^ Everytime I come to this site I'm reminded of what Kat Williams had to say about haters and batch ninjas.

Posted by: Stapp | April 28, 2008 at 12:41 PM
_________________________

yeah... yada yada yada

[b-ease]

Bud Light (at least around my way, and my way sounds pretty similar you yours...pause?)is the drink of choice for white trash. Black folks used to be all about MGD around here, but we've all pretty much settled on Budweiser. I'd drink more Rolling Rock if they sold it in 22's anywhere close to me. But they dont.

[b-ease]

Heineken is overrated.

Corona only works with the lemon/lime. Otherwise, its a pretty flat beer.

[DC]

People who fancy themselves "beer connoisseurs" are fucking annoying as shit. Drinking higher end beer does not make you classy. Whether drinking Bud Light or a $15 six pack of some fancy microbrewery ale, you are still the same slob living in your parents basement idling in front of your commuter as you wait for the latest update on cumfiesta. At least the Bud Light drinker has enough of his pay check left over to get a lap dance or buy a few drinks to get a underage chick liquored up (no R. Kellz)

On a side not, there is no chance that anyone who reads this site would actually pass up a chance to fuck Jessica Biel. I know the Hip Hop audience usually prefers horribly mis-proportioned video hoes with asses the size of prize pumpkins, but if you don't think Jessica Biel is hot, then you are a fag. In fact, you should probably just end your life. It would be really interesting to see the true level of trim that these internet Don Juan's are actually pulling. I bet it would like a Lane Bryant catalog spread.

[thoreauly77]

"It would be really interesting to see the true level of trim that these internet Don Juan's are actually pulling. I bet it would like a Lane Bryant catalog spread."

- truth.

oh and bud light isn't terrible, it's just diet beer is all, which is dangerously close to water. there is no excuse ever to have bud light in your refrigerator when you can have cheaper, much better tasting beer in your fridge by the name of PBR. when i am broke, it's PBR's all the way, when i have money it's heinekens or red stripe. it would be stella more often but the bottle is only 11.2 ounces.

[bartholomewrichards]

Well, I ain't frontin' on Jessica Biel, but light beer is still a little questionable. At least Bud Light is better than Coors Light.

And as for DC, what's the point in getting light beer? You can get regular ol' Bud for the same price, and it's 5% instead of 4% = still enough money left over to get underage broads tipsy.

Also, you can find decent beer for good prices, too, you don't have to go all microbrewery and shit. Here in Toronto anyways, you can get Carlsberg for cheaper than Bud or Canadian (Canadian is the cheaper/better version of Bud for Canadians) and it tastes a shiteload better. That said, beer in Canada is too fuckin' expensive anyways.

Point being, not everyone that actually enjoys the taste of beer is a fruit.

[Mr Beer]

Common get some class.
the only people who should drink budlight are old bar rats who sit in the bar all day for social reasons

[fitz]

beer snobbery is the worst of the deadly sins.

[sknamis]

Light Beer is the equivalent of diet pop...and men should never, ever drink it. What are you doing, watching you figure? Beer is supposed to be heavy, if you want something light, go get a cosmo. Nothing cries faggot like a light beer.

[Bol]

Oddly enough, I also drink diet soda for the taste. Have been since I was a kid.

[bartholomewrichards]

I'd mention something about that Parker Report video, but I'm not a douchebag like Prolyfic.

[Tray]

Biel's ugly. I hate diet soda. What beer you drink isn't really that important. There are much worse beers than Bud Light.

[Jay Gatsby]

Leave the brewskis alone and just shoot a bottle of Jager, or mix up some stiff Jack n Cokes.

Beer is for when you get to the bar/club and are already twisted.

[The Noble Savage]

light beer?

bilge-water

[Big Jay]

On the real, if it ain't Colt 45, I ain't drinkin' it.

And about this week's poll, that's a tuffie, but I'd have to go with Eli Porter.

[Liam]

Eli Porter all tha way [||]

While light beer is pointless, the gayest thing alcohol related has to be that 'social marketing' thing, where people try to informally advertise shit at bars and university parties etc. Those people are filth

[shabooty]

bud light helped me get some brainz last fri so i aint mad at it...even though the bitch aint finish her beer...she finished all her meat popsicle.

$

[d.j. bradley]

I've been a Natural Light beer drinker for many years.

One day, my next door neighbor, a beer distributor, told me Natural Light is actually Budweiser dumped in a can with a different label on it.

Budweiser itself, of course, is shit.

It's a matter of economics. As I drink like there is going to be a nuclear attack tomorrow, it costs too much to drink the higher end liquid.

I like the expensive stuff. It tastes clean and has a little bite, sort of tart.

This would be Beck's, Corona, Heinekin, Sapporo, St. Pauly Girl.

The Canadians make some fine beer. Labatts and Carlsburg are up there with the greats. Ups to barthlomew.

When you have a PBR in your hand, thoreauly, at least a man knows what part of the country he's in. Hint: you're not in Arizona. (Especially with the polka music and the sound of bowling pins going on in the background).

With Biel, I'd have to have a Viagra back with my PBR.

My girl, Hanna Montana, just been photographed by Annie Lebowitz for Vanity Fair, one of the great magazines. She looks as sexy as Linsey Lohan after a night of partying with blood dripping out of her nose.

out

[d.j. bradley]

I think bol has never been better with his stories and his headlines.

The only thing maybe needing improvement could be his poll subjects.

I don't know whether the new design of the poll box freaks him out and gives him the skitters. I just don't know.

I mean, I could help out. Like:

"How would you like to die?"

a) in bed asleep
b) with an oxycodone overdose with Michael Jackon's dick in my ass.

"Which senior would your like to fuck?"

a) Hillary Clinton
b) Bill Clinton
c) your mother

Which of bol's illustrious guests would you like to see permanently banned:

a) d.j. bradley
b) barbarian
c) nomamesbuey

"My new pastor is"

a) Jeremiah Wright
b) Jesse Jackson
c) Pat Robertson

You know stuff like that. Stuff with a little wit.

out

[thoreauly77]

dj- not arizona for sure. those cowboys might take offense to anything but a tall boy of the silver bullet.

[AB]

Bud Light is delicious.

Jessica Biel is ugly as fuck.

I'm not a homo.

[bartholomewrichards]

Labatts is gross and Carlsberg is Danish, but nice try DJ. Truth be told, mainstream Canadian beer isn't much better than American mainstream beer, it's just stronger.

[Justaguy]

People who fancy themselves "beer connoisseurs" are fucking annoying as shit. Drinking higher end beer does not make you classy. Whether drinking Bud Light or a $15 six pack of some fancy microbrewery ale, you are still the same slob living in your parents basement idling in front of your commuter as you wait for the latest update on cumfiesta. At least the Bud Light drinker has enough of his pay check left over to get a lap dance or buy a few drinks to get a underage chick liquored up (no R. Kellz)

On a side not, there is no chance that anyone who reads this site would actually pass up a chance to fuck Jessica Biel. I know the Hip Hop audience usually prefers horribly mis-proportioned video hoes with asses the size of prize pumpkins, but if you don't think Jessica Biel is hot, then you are a fag. In fact, you should probably just end your life. It would be really interesting to see the true level of trim that these internet Don Juan's are actually pulling. I bet it would like a Lane Bryant catalog spread.

Posted by: DC | April 28, 2008 at 02:45 PM

Holy christ. Why do so many of you have to project so hard in your comments? Let me break this down for you..You are 100% right that drinking higher end beer doesn't make you classy. Class is built over time. Did it occur to you that the world is not made up entirely of basement confined internet slobs? Some people have developed a taste for better beers because they can afford it and, lets face it, the "fancy" (as you put it) beers simply taste BETTER (some of them). You think Beer connisseurs are annoying? What would you have a man be interested in? We can't all be nutsack connisseurs DC.

If you can't buy quality beer and still have enough in your check to get an underage girl liquored up, then its time to re-evaluate your station in life.

As for your second point, regarding Jessica Biel. While I certainly would not pass up a chance to fuck, I don't think she's "hot". My definition of "hot" requires something more. She's a very attractive woman but her mouth is huge on her face, and I went to google images just to refresh myself and just confirmed that there is something off kilter about her face. Don't get me wrong, for example, in the case of Jaime Pressly. She is one of my favorite girls, definitely in my top ten, but I will be the first to tell you that her eyes are just a little too far apart.

[The Noble Savage]

Once you're beyond high-school and college, there is no excuse for not having a quality drink in your hand.

None

[DC]

@ Justaguy<----- note: less annoying and easier than reposting my whole comment.

If you like to drink expensive beer, more power to you, but it is very annoying when people jam the fact that they are discerning about the beer they drink down your fucking throat. Every time Bol mentions Bud Light, at least a few douchefags have to comment saying how it's terrible and that they only drink *insert posh foreign beer here*. No one thinks you are debonair or progressive because you can tell the difference between Bud Light and Heineken. Instead, everyone thinks you are a asshole who yearns to be viewed as sophisticated. It isn't just on the internet that these beer snobs exist, either. If I had a dollar for every time I was at a party or at a bar and someone asshole made a comment about another person's beer choice, I'd be rich like, well, the classiest dude on this blog, Justaguy. It's not that I think everyone should drink Bud Light. No, it's that I think everyone should keep their fucking mouths shut about what other guys are drinking and stop thinking they can ascend the social hierarchy by pretending to be a beer connoisseur. Oh, nice little quip at the end there, too. Very clever. Apparently the only two things men can enjoy are beer or nutsacks. So if you don't get off sipping a nice full bodied lager (no homo?) then you must like nibbling scrotums. You reasoning is very sound.

As for your retort to my second point, [II} on the whole paragraph. If Jaime Pressly and Jessica Biel have "off kilter" faces, then I can assure you that any bitch (assuming, maybe falsely, that that is what you are into) you have ever tapped probably looks like a Picasso. And do you want to explain the difference between "very attractive" and hot? You sound like a dude on the DL who just looks for inane details in women to justify not fucking them.

[d.j. bradley]

Well, I think the Noble Savage had a good take.

Bartholomew has to be respected for living around the Great Lakes. Let us not forget Molson.

Nor, if you live in Arizona, Modelo.

As I now write, Obama is denouncing his 20-year pastor with great vigor.

Wright has been on a three-day tear to destroy Obama's candicacy, a right brain African American trait.

Now, as the experts have said, Obama has to have a Sister Soljah moment. (This was in the 90s Presidential aspirant Bill Clinton denounced Sister Soljah, a rap singer, for her infammitory lyrics. It turned the election for him).

Rev. Wright, he of the $10 million retirement complex, his retirement home, this complex would be a good bit of money to the poor. He is a disaster.

We all know Obama is a phony. I told you all he is an empty suit, a communist.

I just don't know what to do. I think the Republican candidate is a disaster.

What's left?

Hill and Bill.

Oh my.

out

[Justaguy]

@DC

Ok. I can agree with you that people that flaunt their fancy beer at parties are annoying. I took issue with the statement that people who think of themselves as conisseurs are annoying. I think if you want to be a conisseur of something, then beer wouldn't be a bad choice.

Dude, I'm on the internet at work, and really when it comes right down to it you can think I'm a huge fag ALL DAY LONG with no consequence. So enjoy yourself. I wasn't saying that I fuck Jaime Pressly looking girls, because I don't. When I wasn't married, I did get some decent trim on a pretty regular basis from girls ranging on the whole spectrum from hippo booty bitches to maybe a little homely to the time I got to sleep with two very hot Pi Phi's in Jester Dorm at UT.

You're right, I can't explain the difference between "very attractive" and "hot", they're subjective terms. I tend to think of hot as one level above "very attractive".

[wuoneskai]

Calling Bud Light a 'beer' is a misunderstanding. This shit is malt lemonade, like 1 part of European lager/pilsner to 3 parts water.

[bartholomewrichards]

Molson's drinkable, but if you're looking for good mainstream Canadian beer, Rickard's Red is the way to go. Some people like Alexander Keith's, but I'm not a huge fan.

[burgermeister meisterburger]

Uninformid Americans, Please be happiness to visited us in European community to informed yourselves to proper taste of beer. We offer many fullnesses and bodies and tastes (no homos) that are high in alkohol kontents and only use bestes hops and barleys. We have been doing this processes for thousands of years...pretty much for longer than your countrys has existed. We are fairly certains we know what we are doing. Feel free to reference movie beer fest vor basic 101 introductions. We welcome you to come and try our beers. Please bring a barf bag and bail moneys, you will need it because you have no tolerances for real beers, but we understands, because we see threads like this.

If you ever visit our fine countries, you will vind we do offer budweiser in de sippy cups vor ze children.

[Da barbarian]

^"We are fairly certain we know what we are doing."

After 2 World Wars and millions of dead, I would naturally think Europeans would be somewhat wary of making statements like that.

Believe me, burgermeister, we are more than familiar with your beer-making efforts, for God knows our troops had to spend enough decades having to drink on it while based there to keep you from ever starting another World War.

But yes, let's all raise our stein to good beer.

[Tropics]

Here's a little advice for the small percentage of you jigs who actually pay taxs and will get one of these tax rebates: HOW ABOUT GIVING SOME OF IT TO YOUR BABY MOMMAS SO THEY CAN BUY SOMETHING FOR YOUR BASTARD KIDS, LIKE FOOD OR CLOTHES. OR ROACH TRAPS.

[d.j. bradley]

Well, I think burgermeister meisterburger is a great commentator.

It's probably bol.

Or the Pope. I understand he likes to read blogs that are pointed out to him on the internets.

You know, beer has done a lot of good things to my personality. It has done a lot of good things to my figure. I used to be like a stick figure. Now I look like a pregnant stick figure.

Shoot, if I had the whole thing figured out, I would probably drink Coronas. Down in T.J., you just buy the beer: what happens is you keep the bottles, turn in the bottles for an outrageous deposit, and buy the Coronas for, like 50 cents per 12 ounce injection.

There's a lot of gunfire these days down there. Kidnappings.

They want to bring that shit up here. To the U.S.

Boy, doesn't that sound like a great improvement?

you fucking pindayhos.

[Da barbarian]

Drinking Coronas, d.j.?

If you're going to open a good Mexican beer, reach for the Negra Modelo or Dos Equis.

Avoid the gunfire & kidnappings, but even more importantly, avoid college-bar swill like Coronas.

[Der Meisterburger]

Herr Barbarian (ve do like your internets name),

Rest assured, ve have noticed zat you Amerikans have taken quite well to ze war waging on your own, no need to compliment us on our own historical masterpieces in zat respects. In fact, jobs well done, brothers acrossing the great oceans!

[Da barbarian]

Glad you dig on the name( worthy of the times, ja?), burgermeister.

Approve of our blitzkrieg response to Islamic ding-dong misbehavior?

Hey, in the name of our transatlantic alliance, as well as our mutual cultural heritage and rot, let me send you the latest CD from Eli Porter, one of our most cutting-edge hip-hop artists.

Trust me, cousin, sit down with a mug of Bavaria's best, slip it in the player, turn up the volume, and I assure you, his funk groove & wisdom will have even your hokey Germanic hand reaching for a rifle.

Global music for global citizens.

Alles fur hip-hop?

[Horus]

Drinking Coronas, d.j.?

If you're going to open a good Mexican beer, reach for the Negra Modelo or Dos Equis.

Avoid the gunfire & kidnappings, but even more importantly, avoid college-bar swill like Coronas.

Posted by: Da barbarian | April 30, 2008 at 12:28 PM

Pacifico.

[zacreole]

Closer to piss is more accurate.