Update re: Gary Coleman's sex life

Or lack thereof, I should say.

A week ago, I reported that Gary Coleman had never gotten any stank on his hanglow until just now.

Or at least no stank he wanted anyone to know about. Maybe he managed to talk Dana Plato into letting him stick it in her ass for a few rocks; or maybe he did something strange for some change with some perverted cracka-ass cracka (let's face it) who's into the idea of a grown-ass man who looks like an eight year-old boy.

But as far as talking a girl into having sex with him of her own volition... nothing.

Which of course struck me as tragic. It's no wonder these schools keep getting shot up. No justice, no peace. OK, perhaps justice is a bit strong a word, but you catch my drift. This guy was on one of the biggest sitcoms of the 1980s.

As it turns out though, Gary Coleman hasn't actually banged his wife yet. Media Take Out just said he did.

Or perhaps they were mistaken. If you read the quote from People magazine, it sounds like he said she was the first girl he ever had sex with. He wasn't saving himself or anything, it's just that she was the first girl he was ever that intimate with.

In the video clip posted below, however, he claims that he's yet to actually have shoved it in his new mongoloid-bride.

What's he waiting for? Who knows. My guess is that he may have already done it (how are you gonna marry a broad and not fuck her, even if you're Gary Coleman?), but he figured he wants to save the "Gary finally gets some stank" plot point until the series actually begins.

Think about it. If the two of them already did it, that would be rather anti-climactic. But if he hasn't, it'll be like that Gary Coleman series with Sylvester Stallone's ex-wife, with the minstrel-esque black guy chasing after the grotesque white woman. And then maybe he finally gets to hit it on the season finale.

Or am I reading too much into this?