Gulliness, thy name is Antonio McKenzie

Sometimes, when I'm on my break at the BGM and I need to walk around the store to scope out the underage pussy pick up some things for the house, I'll take off my nametag and shit. It's just easier to get what you need to get done without mofos coming up to you wanting to know where to find shit.

As if I'm supposed to know where shit's located just because I work there.

Every once in a while though, some old cracka-ass cracka will come up to me like, "Excuse me, sir, where do you keep the such and such?" Which of course prompts me to wonder, "How in the fuck does this old crackety-crack know I work here? I'm not wearing my nametag or anything. Is it because I'm black?"

You can imagine my amusement, then, when I read that this kid Antonio McKenzie, pictured above, has been pretending to be an employee at Target stores down in Miami, FL, and then walking out with thousands of dollars worth of the new iPod Touch.

The local CBS affiliate:

According to police, Antonio McKenzie, 24, is wanted for stealing numerous iPod Touches from Target Department Stores throughout Miami-Dade, Broward and Palm Beach Counties.

Investigators say McKenzie simply walks into the stores, wearing a red polo shirt, and pretends he works there. North Miami Beach police officials say he has extensive knowledge of Target procedures and has even assisted customers.

Police believe he has stolen more than $17,000 worth of iPods.

Lollerskates.

I'd be willing to bet though that this guy is no criminal mastermind. Most likely, he was standing around in a store one day, trying to steal some shit the old fashioned way, and somebody's grandma came up to him looking for moth balls.

He probably wasn't even wearing a red shirt.

FakeTarget Clerk Steals $17K In iPods [CBS4 via The Consumerist]