The Real World: Sydney - Episode 20: Episode Summary

I bet you fruits were wondering if I was gonna catch tonight's episode. I had to miss last week's, because I was at work. It looks like several people may have fucked. Which sucks, because all of those other weeks when I wasn't working hardly anything happened. I feel truly ripped off.

The episode begins with Dunbar looking conflicted about getting into bed with Ashli. I'm sure he doesn't want it to seem like he spent the whole time down in Sydney balls deep in this broad. You'll recall that his girlfriend back home has got some impressive cans, for being otherwise kinda plain looking.

Ashli is also looking especially desirable for a girl who isn't even that hot. And the thing is, she goes and jumps in Dunbar's bed before he does. So he's kinda left with no other choice but to hop in there with her. Not that this would be that much of a dilemma for me one way or the other. Australia's on the other side of the globe, fer chrissakes! Never mind what I may have gotten into there, as long as I don't come home with a drip.

Also, did Cohutta knock up KellyAnne? There's some security footage of them in the bed together and then KellyAnne jumps up like, "Oh shit, the condom broke!" (Pretty much any guy's worse nightmare, except if it was KellyAnne or somebody. And of course it wouldn't be.) Then Cohutta starts talking about how he's the most fertile guy evar. Which I could definitely believe. These redneck cats have been known to knock up a broad just by looking at them the wrong way.

Later, KellyAnne is concerned that she might have to move to Deliverance, GA and take care of Cohutta's children. It isn't brought up, but you get the idea that she's the type of broad for which an abortion (remember when broads on this show would get abortions?) is out of the question. In which case I so hope she's carrying with that yokel's seed.

KellyAnne won't know until she's late or not for a few days, but in the meantime she weighs herself to see if she's carrying a few extra pounds. Hmm... I just spent the past several weeks watching that one broad on Tell Me You Love Me (!!!) fuck and then piss on an EPT to see if Palek had managed to knock her up. Which makes me wonder if it really takes that long to know whether or not you're pregnant.

Hilariously, Cohutta calls his grandpa, who sounds like Johnny Cash or somebody, for advice. He doesn't go so far as to explain that he's been banging this broad and he may have accidentally gotten her pregnant, but he says he got a "deal" going on with her. Then the old man says some shit about how people show their true colors in a crisis. You wonder if he has any idea what Cohutta is talking about.

[I should note that during the commercial breaks tonight, MTV has been playing songs by Against Me!, one of my favorite bands that I saw at Lollapalooza this summer, as part of their new program to boost their own cachet by playing songs by hip young groups for 8 seconds at a time during commercial breaks for the Real World. It's still kinda cool. It reminds me of when they actually played music videos on MTV.]

There's a minor, not even that interesting, dust-up between Ashli and Dunbar. She claims she's pissed because Dunbar spoke with Isaac and that "Irish" broad he's banging about their relationship, i.e. the fact that they fucked last week. But you get the idea that she might be pissed that he hasn't wanted to fuck her again, and she could generally just use some attention... from somebody.

Then we learn whether or not KellyAnne is actually pregnant. She's not, despite the fact that Cohutta is the most fertile man ever. You get the idea that he was kinda hoping she was. The two of them went to a redneck bar and then a church the next morning, perhaps in a foreshadowing of what their life together might be like. In church, it looked Cohutta might have been praying she would have his baby.

Finally, Dunbar and Ashli kinda get into it. Dunbar comes up with some sort of rule about when people can use the computer. Ashli objected to it, because she felt like it was only really convenient for him. Then he called her stupid, and she ran off and started crying. Later, they go to a bar to talk things over. According to Ashli, he owes her a lot more. Roffle. I'd say!

NEXT WEEK: More of the same boring bullshit.