The Real World: Sydney - Episode 15: Episode Summary

The fact that MTV didn't even bother to rerun last week's episode - in which Shauvon opted to go back home, and the group went to the Great Barrier Reef, snorkeled and came back home all in the space of 15 minutes - has to tell you something. This season is already more than half of the way over, and there may not be a whole lot else interesting that happens. I'm especially gonna miss Shauvon's cans.

The episode begins with Isaac on the phone with his friend Noirin, from like eight episodes ago. Is she the black chick? She seems shocked to learn that Shauvon has left, and wants to know whether or not the two of them ever kissed. The dumbass that he is, Isaac says yes. Or maybe this will convince her to come over and break him off with some stank.

The girls have a brief pow wow to bitch about the fact that there will be a new female roomie, which I took to mean that they're all concerned that she's gonna be hot and they don't want to have to compete with her. Especially Parisa, who's obviously got a hardcore inferiority complex. This girl could be ugly as shit, and I'm sure Parisa would still find an issue with her.

Turns out that Noirin is the black chick. Er, black-ish chick. She's not half that bad looking. Isaac and her go out for a walk, so she can ask him the question she'd been meaning to ask him since they first met, and which I'm sure a good half of the assholes who comment on this site could have been answered. Namely, is Isaac Jewish? Isaac responds that he is, but he shaves his horns down. No, really.

Later that evening, the new girl, Ashli (note the spelling), finally shows up. She doesn't have a bad body, as is the case with most women you see on TV, but her face leaves a bit to be desired. As soon as she walks in, her and Dunbar have one of these love at first sight moments right out of a John Hughes movie. It'll be interesting to see what happens between the two of them, since, you'll recall, Dunbar has a girlfriend who just made the trip down to Sydney.

Parisa gives Ashli a guided tour of the house and makes it a point to note the wall full of pictures of Shauvon - which I could use in my bedroom. She admits in a confessional that it would be nice to have a BFF in the house, like KellyAnne and Trisha, but on the other hand, obviously she's concerned about the fact that this chick's got a way better chance with Dunbar than she'll ever have.

Next thing you know, in what has to be viewed as a symbolic move, Ashli is ripping Shauvon's photos down off of the wall. Like literally ripping the shit out of them. Then she heads out with the rest of the group to get her drunken groove on. In the club, Dunbar lays back and watches Ashli move. It's pretty obvious what's on his mind. The question is: will he act on it?

Did Parisa not go out with the rest of them? She's pictured on the phone with her sister, bitching about the state of her relationship with her roomies, and it looks like she might have a vibrator in her hands. Hmm... The next day, Ashli asks Parisa what she did all last night, and she claims that she was on the phone with her sister. Likely story.

For what it's worth, I can kinda sympathize with Parisa. This new chick is kinda busted, no? And already I see she's joined the other two female roomies in talking shit about Parisa. Obviously the new girl is not aware of the past several weeks of back and forth between Parisa and the two of them (well, Parisa, and everyone, for that matter).

Meanwhile, I take back whatever it was I said about Isaac being smart, his being a Jew notwithstanding. First he brings home some skanks from the club, who I would have liked to see in bathing suits, and fails to get them into the hot tub. Then he calls Noirin and is all like, "Yeah, I just failed to get some chicks in the hot tub." Fortunately, she doesn't seem to give a shit. She obviously smells money.

Finally, Parisa has a minor breakdown in a confessional re: her failure to establish much of a relationship with Ashli. Well, let's see, maybe if you weren't such a psycho hose beast.

NEXT WEEK: Holy fuck!