ByronCrawford.com

The Real World: Sydney - Episode 14: Episode Summary

I woke up this morning at the ass crack of 10 a.m. and checked to see if my site was still there, like I usually do when I wake up. It almost always is, except for today, when it wasn't. Come to find out, the domain name for this site expired yesterday, October 30th. You 'bags know what that means, right? That means that yesterday, 10/30/07, was this site's fourth birthday.

As Jay-Z would say, L'Hyme.

And today marks the beginning of this site's fifth year. What better way to kick things off than with a story about the motherfucking Breakfast Club and a recap of an episode of the Real World. As if I needed a reminder that my life is remarkably similar to the  way it was 10 years ago.

I found a noose in the Breakfast Club

Someone Get Al Sharpton on the Phone
Not to let you fruits in on more than you need to know about me, but this morning I was sitting around in my underwear sipping a hazelnut coffee and watching the Breakfast Club (one of only about four things I really enjoy doing) when I made a startling discovery.

The film begins with a montage of scenes from inside Shermer High School in Shermer, Illinois 60062. There's Anthony Michael Hall's burned out locker, from when he tried to kill himself with a flare gun (Asa Coon, anyone?), there's a school newspaper with a picture (but probably not really) of Emilio Estevez wrestling, and there's a poster urging students to vote for this year's prom queen. In the background is Simple Minds' excellent "Don't You Forget About Me."

On the voiceover is Anthony Michael Hall reading from the letter he was selected to write to principal Richard Vernon describing which stereotype each member of the Breakfast Club fits into and how he can kiss their ass. When it gets to the part about Judd Nelson, the criminal, there's a shot of his locker, presumably where he stores his doobage. Towards the top of it, it says "Touch this locker...," then it pans down to where it says, "And you die, fag!!!" And there's also a noose hanging off of it.

Holy crap!!!

Surely, you would think that during the course of the Jena Six protests and the subsequent rash of noose incidents someone in the media (mainstream or otherwise) would have pointed this out. But I just did a cursory Internets search for "breakfast club noose" (like I always  do when I think I may have come up with something) and I didn't turn up anything. For the sake of my increasingly fragile-ass ego, I certainly hope no one else has pointed this out.

Granted, I've read that the original noose incident at Jena High School may or may not have had something to do with something that happened in Lonesome Dove. (I've also read that it may not have been intended as a racial threat towards black kids, but that's a whole other story.) But you would think that this would be significant for at least two reasons: a) because there's hardly any other examples of this sort of thing in pop culture, and b) the film does, after all, take place in a high school.

It's also interesting in the sense that in the film there was no implied racial threat in the noose-hanging. That is, unless there was some plot earlier in the week by black guys at Shermer High School (and I'm not aware that there were any black people at Shermer High School) to break into Judd Nelson's locker and swipe his doobage. Assuming that wasn't the case, there's an obvious implication for the ongoing debate re: the extent to which a noose is a racial threat.

In the film, the scene with the noose takes place about three minutes and 25 seconds in. In the YouTube tribute video after the jump, put together by someone who's obviously even more of a loser than myself, look for it about 25 seconds in.

PSA: Free Tacos at Taco Bell

For the World Series, Taco Bell was running a promotion where if anyone stole a base, they'd give away free tacos. Er, like one free taco per person.

Well, apparently the World Series is over and someone stole a base. So today they're giving out free tacos between 2 and 5 p.m. I wouldn't even have heard of it if I hadn't just read it on Consumerist. (Obviously I wasn't watching the World Series). You get the idea that Taco Bell only came up with the promotion for the free publicity, and now they only want to give away as few free tacos as possible.

Hence this promotion is only running for three hours this afternoon. If you live on the East Coast, it's just about 2 p.m. right now. So if you feel it's worth it to go all the way to Taco Bell for one free taco, you might want to hop on that. I might go there and just get the one free taco, just to stick it to the man.

Also, here in the STL, someone ought to go alert the bums who hang out on Skinker between Olive and Delmar. I know I've been hit up for change going into that Taco Bell on several occasions. It would be a shame if those bums didn't get to take part in this promotion.

Checkit: Steal A Base, Steal A Taco [MLB.com]

Should black people boycott overstock.com?

Another day, another store where black people aren't supposed to shop. At least this one doesn't serve chicken.

No, this time it's overstock.com. I've never bought anything from them myself, but I just checked their website just now and it looks like they have some nice shit. It's too bad I can't buy anything from them. Because their CEO has come out in favor of burning minorities who don't succeed in education.

He was participating in a debate having to do with public funding for vouchers to send kids to private schools, which will be on the ballot there in Utah November 6th. Of course he's in favor of them.

Here's his exact quote:

"Right now, 40% of Utah minorities are not graduating from high school. You may as well burn those kids. That's the end of their life. That's the end of their ability to achieve in this society if they do not get a high school education. You might as ... just throw the kids away."

Which is probably about as true as any other stereotype, i.e. about 95%, but still. Since when are white people in Utah allowed to mention that black people aren't successful?

The NAACP is urging the guy to apologize, but so far he's not going for it.

"These folks have been selective in their editing," Byrne told the Associated Press. "I very clearly said the system is throwing away 40% of the minority kids because they're not graduating. I'm saying that I'm against throwing kids away.

"People against vouchers are in favor of throwing the kids away," Byrne said.

Likely story.

After the jump is the actual clip from the debate.

Overstock CEO rejects NAACP apology request [USA Today]

Kim Kardashian in Playboy

I wasn't all that impressed, but I figured a few of you 'bags might be interested.

Kim Kardashian Playboy Pictures [Hollyscoop; NSFW-duh!]

Mychal Bell should be in prison

According to Last Week's Poll
If I would have known that last week would be the week when pictures would turn up on the Internets of members of the Jena Six making it rain in their own mouths, not to mention the week it was revealed that the Jena Six was essentially yet another one of these Tawana Brawley incidents, not unlike the Duke Lacrosse case, I probably would have gone with something else for last week's poll.

Unfortunately, I'm not able to predict the future.

Last week's poll had to do with whether Mychal Bell should be in prison. Here are the results.

Should Mychal Bell be free from prison?

1. No (138 votes)
2. Yes (103 votes)

Of course this guy's case is a bit different, in that he was thrown back in jail for violating probation for some shit he had already done before the Jena Six. If I'm not mistaken (not that it matters in this case at this point) he had something like four(!) previous violent offenses.

Still, as the Junkyard Dog Stasson Goines might say, those were old crimes. And since this new one was justified, since the victim was white and this was at a school where they hang nooses on trees, you must acquit. In that sense, I could almost see the case for letting Mychal Bell go free. Almost.

***

Next week's poll, which is already up, has to do with the new Jay-Z album. Is it good, or is it not good? Listen first, then decide. Or just decide. Who gives a shit!

Jay-Z - American Gangster: Album Review

Jay-Z, American Gangster (Roc-A-Fella, 2007)
Copped this just now from TSS. It doesn't look like it's the real deal, but I figured what the fuck. It's probably close enough. And if this shit's not any good, I'm probably not gonna bother with it again anyway.

• Jay-Z @ MySpace

An old man's right to some stank

The Fight for a Man's Rights
A question for the ladies: How fair is it, really, to let a man take you out to dinner, spend all types of money on you, and then not have sex with him when he brings you back to his place? This despite the fact that he gave you some champagne (probably expensive) and played you a song on the piano.

The reason I bring this up is because recently I stumbled upon the story of this guy Rolf Eden, over in Germany. He's 77 years old, and he recently went out on a date with a girl who's 19. He wined her and dined her and took her back to his place, but she refused to get busy, because she said he was too old.

So now he's suing her for age discrimination.

According to a story in the German newspaper (or whatever) Spiegel:

"That was shattering. No woman has ever said that to me before," Eden told [German tabloid Bild Zeitung]. "I was crushed." He has filed charges with the prosecutors' office, he said. "After all, there are laws against discrimination."

Indeed there are.

I'm not as familiar with the laws over in Germany as I am with the ones here, with which I'm an expert, but here's hoping the court sides with Rolf Eden on this one. Or, even better, maybe the fact that he's decided to pursue this in court will help her realize how wrong she was to begin with and she'll decide of her own volition to break him off.

Either way, I think we can agree she was wrong for what she did. If she felt like he was too old to have sex with, she shouldn't have led him on in the first place.

German Playboy, 77, Sues for Sex [Spiegel]

Qualcomm Stadium > Bol's house

Where's My Free Massage? Ladies?
In the annals of bullshit racial disparities here in the US, the difference between the accommodations at Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego and the Superdome after Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans has to rank right up there with just about anything.

Not only are people getting free massages from the broads from Suicide Girls, as pictured above (which would almost be worth losing my house over - it's not like I own it anyway), but motherfuckers are just walking around handing out free money.

No, really:

Christie Williams, who lost her Ramona, Calif., home, nicknamed the Shangri-La, said she was struck by the camaraderie and generosity she found at Qualcomm.

Williams said an older man named Gabriel started talking to her, and when she told him she lost everything, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a $100 bill to give to her.

If that was in the Superdome, she would've been taken behind a pile of dead elderly people and violently raped while standing in a puddle of piss and shit.

Checkit: How Long Will the Good Vibes Last at Qualcomm Stadium? [ABC News via Bomani Jones]

Note: I should send a shout out to my boy Keith's COMM 300 students at Clemson University, who I spoke with this morning. My bad about it having to be attached to this post.

The Real World: Sydney - Episode 13: Episode Summary

I missed last week's episode, so I'm pretty much at a loss for what's going on - except for the fact that I've spent literally most of my life watching this mess and could probably guess what's going to happen at this point. I had to work tonight, too, so I figured I might have to wait yet another week to catch tonight's episode, but, come to find out, they're re-running it again two hours later, i.e. now.

So the episode begins with Shauvon on the phone with her BF back home, who I thought she had already broken up with. Is this going to be a Shauvon episode? Sweet! I love girls with ridonkulously large cans, even if they're not particularly attractive otherwise. Only thing is, unless I'm mistaken, she's talking about leaving the house to be with her BF back home.

That would certainly suck!

And Dunbar's got his girlfriend from back home coming to town to break him off and see how sad and insane Parisa is in person. So he throws a bit of a bitch fit, because he's got to get the place in order, lest she think he's been down there living in filth. I mean, besides Trisha and Shauvon. Parisa, who's obviously still got it bad for Dunbar, talks a little shit about him in a confessional.

There's some shit having to do with the job, which I didn't catch, I guess to give us an idea of what the rest of the house is up to while Dunbar and Parisa go at it. Speaking of which, the two of them are talking about going to the gym or something, and then all of a sudden they just erupt. I guess he's still pissed because the place is trashed, but she claims she spent a lot of time cleaning up, damnit!