The Real World: Sydney - Episode 7: Episode Summary

It seemed like this season was going so well, what with KellyAnne's ass and Shauvon's boobs, but then the past couple of weeks have just been gay. I guess last week there was that incident where Isaac managed to bring the inner "latino" out of Shauvon, but even that was rather anticlimactic. But all of this shit with KellyAnne pretending to like Cohutta? Come on!

As the episode begins, Trisha has received flowers in the mail from a guy she met in a bar. Dunbar, who strikes me as fairly gully, makes it a point to note that he only sends flowers to broads that he genuinely has feelings for, not just some girl he meets in a bar. Except when he's trying to get a broad to have sex with him.

So I guess that set Trisha off, though it wasn't much of a confrontation. More amusing was an epic debate between, again, Dunbar and Trisha as well as Parisa about how Christianity is fucking bullshit and there is no god. Which is, admittedly, my favorite thing to talk about with girls. Okay, I'm kidding. I don't enjoy having conversations with girls.

I didn't get how the debate began, but the gist of it is that Dunbar once wrote a 10-page paper on the final days of Christ for school, so he's aware that the bible is just a bunch of apocryphal stories cribbed from other bullshit religions and thrown together into one big book. Of course Trisha the evangelical and Parisa the islamofemifascist object to this line of reasoning.

Did I just invent a word?

But of course the episode becomes about Dunbar's anger issues. The next day, or is it two weeks later, he reveals to KellyAnne that his old man used to kick the crap out of him. You see this? This what happens when you spill paint in the garage at the Dunbar household! Don't you talk to Dunbar about pressure.

You know what Dunbar got for Christmas last year? A carton of cigarettes. The old man handed them to him and said, "Smoke up, Dunbar!"

Also, there's an incident where Dunbar calls Parisa a high maintenance New York bitch, though I believe you don't actually hear him say this. Ha! Of course Parisa takes advantage of the opportunity to get all worked up over it and hence receive some attention from Dunbar by any means necessary. But he assures here he just meant that as a joke.

Later, a guy shows up to the house dressed up like Don Johnson from Miami Vice to take KellyAnne out on a date. As he walks in, Cohutta remarks that he might be too cool for school, though you can't tell whether he's upset another guy is taking KellyAnne out or he's just impressed by the idea of a white sports coat.

***

And then... I just so happened to save the post at this point, and then I ended up losing the whole thing as I went to publish it. So the very end of the episode is lost for good. My bad. If you watched, you saw what happened anyway. If you didn't, well, it looks like Cohutta fucked KellyAnne.

I know, I was shocked, too.