"Don't talk, that makes it crawl back up"

If you beat the shit out of a fruit for trying to solicit you for bufuing in a public restroom, that doesn't make you a homophobe, right?

The reason I bring this up is because I'm sure you've all heard of the incident a few weeks ago with Senator Larry Craig looking to blow somebody in the john at the airport in Minneapolis, only come to find out the guy in the stall next to him was an undercover cop.

The other day, Tucker Carlson, who always struck me as the gulliest of these cable news hosts, was on MSNBC discussing the incident and ended up relaying the tale of how he once had to beat the crap out of some fruit in a similar incident.

As the story goes, a young Tucker was in a public restroom minding his own business and some perv approached him looking for a jump. Fortunately, he managed to get out of there before any serious damage was done (god forbid!), but then he came back with his crew and laid the smack down. And then the cops came and arrested the guy.

Which seems fair enough to me, no? I mean, I don't even like when guys come up to me trying to shoot the shit while I'm taking piss, but if a guy comes up to you talking sex shit while you've got your weenie out, that's almost like being raped. By a guy, even. I think most of us guys can agree thats grounds for an as whipping. Nullus.

But for the sake of perspective, let's consider the alternative. If a woman sprays mace in the eyes of a guy she perceives as a potential rapist, that's not considered a hate crime, is it? Obviously the Larry Craig incident could be considered different, since it's more of a solicitation than a full-on attack, but I'd argue that it isn't, because your junk might be out.

In that sense, it's not unlike the current situation with public breastfeeding. It's considered completely normal (by many) for a woman to whip out her tit and start feeding a baby right there in public, but god forbid a guy should look too closely. Let's say for an instance a guy was to come up to a woman who was breastfeeding in an airport and said something along the lines of, "Nice cans. Any chance of me getting a crack at the one on the left?" I think we can all agree that would cross the line from mere solicitation.

However, the teh ghey community would probably beg to differ, if their stance on the Larry Craig incident and, in particular, Tucker Carlson's hilarious story is any indication. A bunch of them are all pissed off about his story about how he had to rough up some fruit back in the day as well as the fact that Dan Abrams and Joe Scarborough had the sheer balls to laugh while he was telling. So now they're using typical Al Sharpton tactics to try to extract some blood money from MSNBC.

Granted I can appreciate the argument that many in the teh ghey community have put forth that teh ghey guys are often left with no other choice but to try to blow people at the airport, but whatever. That's neither my fault nor my problem. The bottom line is that approaching someone for sex in a public restroom crosses the line from average everyday solicitation, and reacting to it with violence should fall under the grounds of self-defense. Just like if you were being raped or something.

Furhtermore, if the teh ghey community was really interested in helping its own cause, they would come out against people who pull shit like this. And they wonder why homosexuality is so often construed with child molestation and what have you. Or is this yet another example of me being a homophobe? What do you 'bags think?

After the jump is the video of Tucker Carlson explaining how he had to regulate on a fudge. Enjoy. Oh, and nullus.