The Real World: Sydney - Episode 5: Episode Summary

Based on the previews, it looks like all that's gonna happen this week is that KellyAnne is gonna pretend she likes Cohutta (heh), maybe in an attempt to make Dunbar jealous. You'll recall that Dunbar has been hesitant to get busy with KellyAnne so far, because he's got some trim back home.

The episode begins with KellyAnne getting out of the shower and wrapping a towel around herself. She goes over to Dunbar, so he can notice that she's naked except for the towel, and they flirt for a bit. Parisa, who's in the other room looking on in anger, laments that Dunbar claims he's in this committed relationship, but he gets all goofy when KellyAnne is around. Well... of course he does!

Later, Dunbar has a talk with Parisa, who's probably on the Internets providing material support to this country's enemies. According to Dunbar, she's not the best-looking girl in the house, but she is interesting. Damn. She sits there and pretends not to be upset, but you can tell her world has just been crushed, like the deaf broad in In the Company of Men, for my late '90s heads.

Other issues:

-Cohutta's determined to get some stank on his hang-low. He doesn't care if her ass stinks, as long as her hair smells good. He just likes a classy lady. (His words, not mine.)

-Now that it's obvious KellyAnne's not gonna get Dunbar, she's gonna talk all sorts of shit about him. Pfftf!

Commercial break: What's this bullshit with the jig who played Bud on the Cosby Show? His uncle must work for MTV.

There's a studio in the house, so Parisa decides she's gonna go in there and sing about her mortal hatred of the West or whatever. Only thing is, she can't figure out how to turn the keyboard on, so she has Cohutta, who always seems to be standing around her, turn it on. Then she starts singing some shit that sounds like Alicia Keys about how she's so lonely. Hmm...

Later, her and KellyAnne actually have a heart to heart about their burgeoning mutual hatred of Dunbar. According to KellyAnne, she never liked Dunbar in the first place. She's not sure how he got the idea the she wanted to fuck him. Then she goes and finds Dunbar and orders him to stop talking shit about him. He looks confused, but she's like, "You know what I'm talking about!"

There's an amusing confrontation between Dunbar and Parisa re: Parisa's god-awful Alicia Keys impersonation. Apparently, she takes it upon herself to perform for the rest of the roomies, but of course Dunbar doesn't want to hear that shit. According to Dunbar, the blues is for miserable old black men who know the real meaning of pain, not some jealous Arab broad.

It's pretty obvious to me that the flirtation between KellyAnne and Cohutta mainly serves to make Dunbar jealous. There's an amusing bit between the two of them having to do with how their kids would look and how much fun they'd have making them. They head out to a bar and, it looks like some girls are on Cohutta. It must be the hat. Then KellyAnne grabs him and drags him back home.

Back at the house, there appears to be a gaggle of Australian skanks, though it's not clear why they're there. They flirt with Cohutta for a bit, and then he sends them packing. All the while, KellyAnne is flirting with him, but he doesn't seem as interested. Or, more than likely, he realizes how full of shit she is. Later, she joins him in a confessional, where she sits on his lap, then hops in his bed for a bit.

NEXT WEEK: Isaac throws a drink at Shauvon the Closet Beaner and may have punctured one of her implants.