The Baconator? Shit!

The other day I got a phone call from my little brother, who's off in Maine riding his bicycle. (If you're in Maine, and you happen to be reading this, he's the black guy on the bicycle. Don't loan him any money!) The reason he called is that he'd seen a commercial for some shit called the Baconator, and of course he knew I'd be interested.

As many of you 'bags may already know, I used to be big into Wendy's. I haven't worked there (yet), but while I was in college I discovered the joys of their 3/4 lb. Triple Stick, which could very well be, on the low, the gulliest hamburger in the history of niggerdom hamburgerdom.

Hardee's ridonkulous Monster Thickburger receives most of the praise, probably because it has the highest calorie count of any hamburger on the market. But if my math is correct, three-fourths of a pound of beef (before they cook all of the water out of it), as featured on Wendy's Triple Stack, is a bit more beef than comes on the 2/3 lb. Monster Thickburger. The thing is, the Monster Thickburger has a shiteload of mayonnaise and cheese and bacon, which ups its gulliness factor considerably.

As of right, Wendy's new Baconator only comes with two 1/4 lb. burger patties (though an eventual 3/4 lb. version is always an option), but it does come with a shiteload of bacon and cheese and mayonnaise. Here's how the Wendy's website describes it:

Six bacon slices piled high atop two1/4 lb. fresh, never frozen, burger patties. Complete with American cheese and mayonnaise dressing on our signature premium bun. Go on, obsess a little.

Indeed I would've obsessed a little two days ago had I been able to. The thing is, there is no such thing as Wendy's here in St. Louis anymore. The buildings where the various Wendy's used to be are all still there, but the lights have been out since last fall, which I discovered on one lonely, sorrowful night on the way home from the BGM.

According to the world's most accurate encyclopedia, about 50 Wendy's in the St. Louis area, which expands pretty far into Illinois, were forcibly closed without warning one day this past October due to financial troubles from the franchisee. Which is not unlike what happened to Super Smokers BBQ, where I did once work, though that supposedly had something to do with 9/11.

It was bad enough when I could no longer cop a fast food hamburger with three 1/4 lb. patties on it (the patties on those BK Stackers are kinda tiny), but now that Wendy's has come out with this Baconator, I'm especially upset. I've gotta take some road trips this summer anyway, so I'll make it a point to stop at a Wendy's and try one out. Have any of you 'bags tried one yet?