The Real World: Denver - Episode 27: Episode Summary

It's the 27th straight week of this bullshit, and finally we're on the vacation episode. The group will be taking a trip to Thailand, and it looks like Colie is gonna end up with a gook up in her, or at least quite a bit of alcohol. Probably both.

As the episode begins, the gang is already at the Bangkok airport. A young fellow not unlike Chozen from Karate Kid Part II is there to meet them and give them a ride to the hotel. The hotel actually looks more like a college dorm than the kind of place where you'd pay a significant amount to stay, but perhaps that's part of its charm.

The next day, they play with some snakes and take a boat ride somewhere. Colie is horny enough she even begins to warm up to Steven. If he had any balls, this would definitely be his shot. They take another boat ride to yet another resort, which looks a bit nicer. There Colie takes a dip in the pool with no top on while Steven sits on the porch and debates stroking it outdoors.

The editing on this episode is pretty retarded. It's hard to get an idea when any of this shit takes place in the overall sequence of events. Presumably later the same day, Davis and Brooke go down to the beach to take a dip. Brooke is in the water for all of 15 seconds before she gets bit by something. Davis picks her up Officer and a Gentleman-style and carries her back to the shore.

Hilariously, the group just kinda stands there and cracks on Davis while he tries to carry her back to the resort. He ends up dropping her right there at the edge of the water, where she examines her foot. She assumes she's been bit by a jellyfish and wonders if she should pee on her foot. Alex walks over, and for a minute it looks like he's going to pee on her foot right there, but then they end up going inside and doing it.

Meanwhile, it looks like Steven is also developing a rapport with Jenn, which I took to mean that he's determined to get some stank on his hang-low while he's out of the country, whether it's Colie or Jenn or a Saigon whore or whomever. Colie orders some food and ends up having to get snippy with the help when it doesn't show up on time. Alex overhears it and chews her out a bit.

Later that night, Colie goes out to a bar and ends up meeting some guys from Australia. She gets as drunk as Josh Hancock on his way to Bar Napoli and has sex with one of them in the resort. I'm not sure where Stephen was at at the time, but I'm sure he feels like a loser for having spent all that time flirting with her on the way there only to fail to seal the deal once she was good and wasted.

The next day or whtever, there's some nice gratuitous footage of Brooke in a bikini while Davis pushes her on a tire swing and then they walk down the beach to go snorkeling or something. I only wish she would have gotten her boob job before they went on the trip. Her new fake boobs are pretty much the best thing that's happened since the Clinton administration, not that that's saying a whole lot.

The rest of the group is going on an elephant ride. Apparently Colie and Davis went out on a boat or something and had way too much to drink, like before noon. Colie is barely in any condition to walk, let alone go on any sort of adventure. They end up out in the woods on some rocks at the edge of a river. Colie stubbs her toe on a rock, but then Brooke ends up falling and hitting her tail bone.

Colie is pissed because Brooke injury managed to upstage hers. Alex, who's been having issues with Colie for a minute anyway, makes fun of her. Colie informs him that she's going to do something to get back at him. Before you can wonder whether this involves banging yet another one of these Australian guys, she's back in the room with a hoo-hah full of Aussie goof juice.

On the final day, the group sit around over won tons and reminisce about all of the crazy shit that went down while they were in Thailand, hardly any of which we got to see, as well as gossip about how Colie is an insane bitch who probably has umpteen different kinds of VD at this point.

NEXT WEEK: This new season of Road Rules has only been on for a few weeks, but it looks like it's getting the axe already. Good riddance. Next week is the final episode of this season of the Real World. Damn. What will I ever do on Wednesday nights? Ladies? Bueller? Nullus.