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Pharoahe Monch, Desire (SRC, 2007)
Remember Pharoahe Monch? He was the fruity-looking kid (I'm just saying...) who had that song that sampled the Godzilla soundtrack (and hence probably scared the shit out of countless Japanese people). He's generally regarded as one of the top MCs in hip-hop, but it's been a while (eight years, to be exact) since he's done anything album-wise. Does he still have it?
Is That Why His Lips Are So Black?
In an interview with MP3.com. which I just so happened to mention in my story today on how 50 Cent didn't really make $400 million in one day from Vitamin Water, KRS-One is expounding on his favorite topic - how hip-hop (which he is, by the way) has the power to transform itself into magic or whatever when the discussioned somehow turned to Barack Obama.
I think the point he was trying to make is that it used to be that case that hip-hop artists didn't wield much in the way of influence over politicians (except for maybe Marion Berry), but KRS-One has been around long enough now that his influence is beginning to be felt in the halls of power.
To wit:
We are now moving into a time where it's not, "Oh, I don't know. I don't know about that history. That didn't influence me. I'm a young man from off the farm in the South, I'm not a big city slinger." No, Barak Obama was like "no, I was a crack head. My wife got me off crack." You know he was in the hood. No doubt. Now look, he's running for President right now. Oh, okay.
Hmm... Really?
I don't mean to suggest that KRS-One makes shit up for the purpose of an entertaining interview (God forbid he calls my job again complaining), but suffice it to say that this is my first time hearing about Barack Obama being on crack. But then again, I wasn't even aware that he smoked squares (menthols, even) until not too long ago, so what do I know?
Checkit: KRS-One: You Must Learn [MP3.com]
"Milton, start the car up and get ready to take me home. This bitch done lost her motherfucking mind." - The Pied Piper of R&B, R. Kelly
I know, we're not even halfway through the year yet, but I find it hard to believe that there will be a better song released in 2007 than "Real Talk" by R. Kelly.
As I noted in my review of Kells' less than spectacular new Double Up, "Real Talk" is one of these songs where a guy goes off on a good for nothing beeyotch, not unlike Oran "Juice" Jones' classic "The Rain." But, with all respect due, where as The Juice wastes three minutes or whatever singing about how he took the day off from work to catch his broad cheating on him before he really starts going off on her, Kells starts right in with the verbal abuse.
"Real Talk" is so full of classic lines its hard to pick one, but if I had to, I'd probably go with, "The next time your ass get horny, go fuck one of your funky-ass friends." But like I said, this song is so chock full of such zingers that you're really best off just listening to the whole thing for yourself.
Stream/download "Real Talk."
Continue reading "Song of the Year: "Real Talk" by R. Kelly" »
R. Kelly, Double Up (Jive, 2007)
R. Kelly is the Ali of today. He's the Marvin Gaye of today. He's the Bob Marley of today. He's the Martin Luther King, or all the other greats that have come before us. And a lot of people are starting to realize that now.
Later this summer, I'm going to be checking out the New Pr0nographers at the Pitchfork Music Festival. Nullus. Hopefully, all five or however many of them actually show up. From what I understand, more often than not only the main guy Carl Newman will actually show up to the concerts, along with a chick who kinda sounds like Neko Case. If said chick was actually hotter than Neko Case (no small feat, mind you), then I could probably deal with that, but if the guy from Destroyer isn't there, I might be seeing about getting my $15 back.
Pitchfork, you've been put on notice.
Even later in the summer (August 4th) the Pr0nographers will be releasing their new album Challenger, which I hope was named after the space shuttle that killed one of the first black astronauts as well as that one kindergarten teacher. Like most people on the Internets, I was a big fan of the first three New Pornographers albums, and especially the most recent one, Twin Cinema, so of course I'm pretty jazzed to hear this new one. It hasn't been bootlegged by the terrorists just yet, but the first single is available for your listening pleasure.
I've only heard it a couple of times now (compared to the about 600 times I spun Twin Cinema), but so far I'm less than completely impressed with "My Rights Versus Yours." It starts out kinda slow, with Carl Newman accompanied by the strum of a guitar and a chorus of Lil' Cease's guy friends going "ooh" in the background and then it kinda speeds up into what sounds like that one song that was in that University of Phoenix Online commercial, but not quite as catchy. Maybe it'll grow on me, but usually that isn't even an issue with the New Pornographers.
Stream/download "My Rights Versus Yours."
According to Last Week's Poll
Rappers Lil' Cease and Lil' Wayne share more than just the dumbass prefix attached to their names. Recently, both of them have been involved in teh ghey incidents involving other guys - Lil' Wayne's infamous kiss with his "father" Baby and Lil' Cease's striptease for a room full of guys, captured for posterity on one of these beef DVDs. Last week's poll sought to determine which was more teh ghey.
The results:
So I guess this means it's official - dancing around in a circle, waving your schlong in a guy's face, while several other guys in the room shout, "Woo, woo!" as if they were the teh ghey cop from Eddie Murphy's Raw is more teh ghey than kissing another man on his mouth and calling said man your father.
I think I voted for Lil' Wayne, just because that involved actual contact (on the lips, no less), but I can definitely see the case for voting for Lil' Cease. Especially given the way his boys were cheering him on while the one chick in the room just kinda grimaced in horror.
Nullus on this whole post, by the way.
Except for the One Where He Says Faggot a Lot
As you 'bags already know, I don't follow basketball too closely, but I do remember hearing a few years ago about the controversy with regard to Allen Iverson not showing up to practice, and especially the soundbite where he explained to the media that he didn't have to show up to practice because he was the franchise player, goddamnit.
On the one hand, I remember thinking that for what these d-bags get paid, they should have to show up for whatever the fuck management says. But according to my little brother, who's into this sort of thing, his statement was reasonable enough in the sense that some people are good enough that they just plain don't need to practice much.
At any rate, DJ Jazzy Jeff and J Live have gone and built a whole song around said infamous soundbite for Jeff's aiight-for-what-it-is new album The Return of the Magnificent. As far as I'm concerned, this is the best idea anyone in hip-hop has had in a minute, and hopefully it kick starts a new trend of rappers building songs around celebrities asinine quotes.
Stream/download "Practice."
I kinda lost track of crazed Asian racist Kenneth Eng after it was announced that he'd be costarring with Tobey Maguire in Spiderman 3, but apparently he's since been thrown in jail.
You'll recall that after his fellow crazed Asian (probably racist) Cho Seung-Hui killed all of those people at Virginia Tech, Kenneth Eng gave an interview to the Village Voice in which he claimed that he was going to do the same thing at NYU, except he couldn't afford a gun.
If he was black, they probably would've thrown his ass in jail at that point on GP, but fortunately for him his Asian privilege intervened on his behalf, not unlike how Cho Seung-Hui was free to plan his rampage despite the fact it had long since been obvious he was ape shit.
Fortunately for us all, there was an incident the other day involving Kenneth Eng, a fat white woman, a dog, and, of course, a hammer. Eng supposedly approached the fat woman in her driveway and claimed that if her dog bit him, he would kill her and her family. Then he swung the hammer at both her and the dog.
Who knows what his punishment will be, but I think there's a case to be made for deportation, especially in light of the massacre at Virginia Tech. I'm not sure what Kenneth Eng's immigration status is - for all I know, he could've been born here - but I doubt very many people would object to him being tossed out on his ear..
After the incident at Virginia Tech, South Korea made it a point to apologize for Cho Seung-Hui despite the fact that Cho was a legal resident of the US. But if they really want to show that they're sorry, I think it's only right that they take this nutjob Kenneth Eng off of our hands, especially given all we've done for them.
And I doubt Eng himself will mind too much, since a) he claims to hate black and white people, and b) I can't imagine there are very many black or white people in South Korea other than a few US troops, who I'm sure can take care of themselves, just in case he gets any more ideas.
***
After the jump is a copy of Eng's infamous "Why I Hate Blacks" column for AsianWeek. I hadn't read it myself until just now, but it's definitely worth checking out. After that is his fucking insane appearance on Fox News' The Big Story with John Gibson.
So tonight's the reunion special for the cast of The Real World Denver. I'm not gonna be recapping it or anything (in case you haven't noticed, I haven't been very prolific lately), but I suggest you check it out.
You'll recall that Brooke got her cans done after the season ended (as seen in a few of the previews for the new season of Road Rules), and based on the previews it looks like there might be some hot bronski action going on tonight.
Speaking of which, MTV is running this promotion where you get to vote on the cast of the next season of The Real World. The way it works is, they've got this site not unlike MySpace where kids can upload pictures and videos of themselves explaining why they deserve to be part of next season's cast. D-bags like us, meanwhile, can browse said profiles and vote for who which ever one's we like best.
I don't mean to give the impression that I went through pages and pages of profiles looking for the girls with the biggest cans; but I spent a little time this afternoon browsing various profiles, and I found this girl with really big cans, and I think we should try to get her on the show. Right now she's only got about 3,000 votes, but you only need about 10,000 to win at this point, so I figured we could swing this.
The thing is, this is not the best-looking girl in the world. As you can, she's kinda overly-tanned and mannish-looking in the face. But you can tell from her profile that a) she doesn't possess much in the way of self-esteem, and b) she understands what her number one trait is. Not to get into any racial stereotyping, but she strikes me as the kind of white chick who bangs a lot of black dudes.
Checkit: MissXHazardous [The Real World Online Casting]
And there's a video after the jump, so you can see what I'm talking about.
We have tickets to all the top 2007 Concerts. Check out these seats to The Cure, and the Dave Matthews Band. Don't miss the hot Smashing Pumpkins tour, or Linkin Park. We also have seats to Dallas Cowboys games, and Indianapolis Colts. Check out our amazing NFL selection.
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