ByronCrawford.com

The Real World: Denver - Episode 17: Episode Summary

Last week was pretty much the best episode of the Real World in years. Brooke went fucking ape shit, and there was a hot love triangle developing between Alex, Colie and Jenn. I don't know about the rest of you d-bags, but I'm pretty psyched.

Tonight's episode begins where last week's left off. Jenn, Alex, Colie, and her bf from home Corey are out at a restaurant. Colie was all over Corey trying to make Alex jealous, but Alex just took it as an opportunity to get on Jenn.

They head back to the house and both couples go at it like jack rabbits in separate rooms while Tyrie and Alex's swim team buddy discuss the inevitable repercussions.

Afterwards, Alex and Jenn take a shower together and end up fooling around with one another in the shower. Of course Colie walks in on them, presumably to get some KY out of a cabinet or something. What a psycho hose beast.

Colie spends the next day with Corey. First the two of them discuss how Jenn has an issue because she hooked up with Alex, but then I think Corey starts to realize Colie wants Alex herself and only brought him down there to make Alex jealous.

El-P - I'll Sleep When You're Dead: Album Review

El-P, I'll Sleep When You're Dead (Def Jux, 2007)
Speaking of Def Jux, El-P has a new album coming out soon. It's his first since Fantastic Damage, which came out way the fuck back in 2002. I was a big fan of Fantastic Damage, so I was really anxious to see whether or not this is any good.

• El-P @ MySpace

Free Def Jux album

If you notice, this year there have been more hip-hop albums given away for free over the Internets than actual commercial releases. The latest is this Def Jux compilation released in association with the stoner cable network Adult Swim. You can download the entire thing in a .zip file from the Adult Swim website. There's also a video for that song El-P did with Trent Reznor directed by the same guy who did that J Dilla video. I think.

Tracklisting:

1) Camu Tao - Plot for a Little
2) El-P - Smithereens (Stop Cryin)
3) Rob Sonic - Brand New Vandals
4) Hangar 18 - Think Big
5) Mr. Lif and Cannibal Ox - Brothaz Remix
6) Despot - Get Rich or Try Dying
7) Cool Calm Pete - Get with the Times
8) Mr. Lif - Red October
9) Cage - Blood Boy
10) Aesop Rock - None Shall Pass

I DL'ed earlier today (nullus), but I haven't had a chance to check it out yet. It looks like it could be pretty good though.

Massive layoffs at The Source

News You Can Use
Well, the so-called Bible of Hip-Hop isn't quite dead yet, but according to a story at SOHH, pretty much it's entire editorial staff was fired the other day, including editor-in-chief Fahiym Ratcliffe. Now it's only down to three employees, including two LA-based editors and an Art Director in New York.

Which is ironic when you consider that a) the art direction in The Source has been so retarded as of late, perhaps even more so than the stories themselves, and b) there's hip-hop on the West Coast?

It'll be interesting to see what happens to The Source now that there's only three people working there. Will this current issue, with Biggie on the cover, be the last one for a while a la that 200th anniversary issue with Ice Cube last summer? Are they looking to hire a buncha people?

50 CENT'S TAX WRITE-OFF

Is Tony Yayo the best compensated weed carrier in the history of hip-hop? Who knows, but he could very well be the most realistic in terms of his role in the industry. In fact, according a story at MTV News, he's considering calling his next album I'm 50 Cent's Tax Write-Off.

The thing is, Yayo means this as a compliment to himself in the sense that he can make so much money just carrying weed for Fiddy. As Yayo himself put it, "I can do five shows with 50 and make over $100,000 being his hypeman. So me going on tour with 50, I can generate millions of dollars that a artist would make doing shows off their own album."

He also goes on to brag about how, if he wanted to, he could borrow a shiteload of money from Fiddy.

THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH

In what could very well be the most hilarious news evar, it turns out that the Reverend Al Sharpton and the late Senator Strom Thurmond are long-lost cousins. This story in the Daily News has the full details of the relationship, which sound fairly convoluted, but convincing none the less.

Two thoughts: a) it's too bad we're only learning of this now that Strom Thurmond is dead, and b) I wonder which one of you cracka-ass crackas used to own my family. I'd look into it myself, but I lack both the tools and the talent.

A good year for diversity

The 2007 Academy Awards
Anyone else catch the Academy Awards last night? I caught the very beginning of it, with the Errol Morris film on this year's nominees and Ellen Degeneres' vaguely amusing monologue, but then I nodded out for like half of it. But I woke up in time to catch most of the big awards.

This year's most notable winners:

-Martin Scorsese had been nominated for Best Director and lost five times before actually winning last night. Even though he was about the closest thing to a shoe-in (hence Spielberg, Lucas, and Coppola being brought out to present), I was actually hoping he would lose yet again, just because I'm more entertained by stories of failure than I am stories of triumph.

-Scorsese's The Departed, which really didn't do a whole lot for me, also took home Pest Picture. If anything, it probably benefited from a) they hype re: Scorsese finally getting a statue, and b) the fact that the superior Babel kinda resmebles Crash, which I'm sure they're all embarrassed to have voted for last year.

-Jennifer Hudson actually won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for her part in Dreamgirls. Even though it's been proven year in and year out that the Academy will give that award to literally anyone (remember the kerfuffle having to do with whether or not Marisa Tomei actually won?), but still. At least Marisa Tomei was hot.

-Forest Whitaker also won Best Actor for The Last King of Scotland, making this what seems like the umpteenth year in the row multiple black people have taken home big awards. Still, we should probably save any collective back-slapping for the year when three black directors have films as good as the three Mexican directors who have come to be known as the Three Amigos, i.e. never.

Nevermind was the album of the '90s

According to Last Week's Poll
If I had to guess, I'd say maybe none of you disagreeable bitches think either Nirvana's Nevermind or Radiohead's OK Computer is the album of the 1990s. But you know what? A lot of people do, including Rolling Stone magazine, who originally put forth the question a couple of weeks ago.

Why would Rolling Stone be debating which was the album of the 1990s on a random-ass Tuesday in 2007? Because that's the kind of silly shit they like to do.

The results:

Album of the 1990s?

1. Nevermind (193 votes)
2. OK Computer (135 votes)

On the one hand, it's not so surprising that Nirvana would beat Radiohead in such a poll. Back when they were popular, they were way more popular than Radiohead ever was. Nevermind sold way more copies than OK Computer, which I'm assuming is the most popular Radiohead album.

On the other hand, you get the idea that Radiohead is rising in status while Nirvana is beginning to fade. Back in 1993 of course, the question of which band was better would've sounded ridonkulous. But since then, Radiohead has accomplished quite a bit.

In addition to OK Computer, they put out arguably the best album to be released this decade, as well as Amnesiac, which is actually better. Around the time Hail to the Thief was released (i.e.going on four years ago), Rolling Stone themselves called Radiohead the Best Rock Band in the World.

Still, the question was which was the album of the 1990s, not which is the better band 10 years after the fact. I'd take In Utero over either of them, but between the two I'd have to roll with Nevermind.

The real reason Britney went bald

News You Can Use
Last night, Britney Spears pulled a Jim Brown on somebody's car after K-Fed wouldn't let her see his kids. Word on the street is that K-Fed might be considering filing for full custody of the kids, since Britney is such an insane bitch. Even before she was fucked up on coke, she was dropping them left and right and driving around with them on her lap, which is mad dangerous.

As it turns out, the reason Britney went with the G.I. Jane look in the first place is because K-Fed tried to stage an intervention. He told her she would either have to cut the bullshit or else he was taking the kids. When he told her he'd have to test her hair for drugs, she stormed out, sped to a local hair salon and shaved it all off. Damn.

• Pictures and video of Britney flipping the fuck out

RATS AT KFC

The New York City Department of Health had to shut down a KFC in the West Village because it was crawling with rats. Videos of the rats frolicking in the shuttered KFC are apparently being shown on the evening news in New York as if they were the Zapruder tape.

In fact, I recommend you check the WCBS video out. In it, they interview some young black chick who's like, "As much as I love fried chicken, I don't think I'll be coming back to this KFC." Um, ya think?

RNB VOICE

One of my readers all the way out in St. Petersburg, Russia, where I've apparently developed somewhat of a following, sent in this link to a video of some god-awful R&B-based wedding band.

Guns N' Roses - Better: Track Review

After what seems like half my lifetime (actually, I think it was) 2007 could very well see the release of Guns 'N Roses' Chinese Democracy. I know, that's what they said last year, but this time there's actually a lead single as well as a world tour beginning in April.

Granted, "Better" just sort of appeared on the Internets yesterday without being announced by the label or anything, but it certainly sounds like a legit '07-era GNR single, and it's listed in the world's most accurate encyclopedia as one of the tracks that will be on Chinese Democracy anyway.

So was it worth the wait? Well, obviously no song is so good that it'd be worth waiting 13 years to hear. Not even "In the Mouth a Desert" by Pavement. But I'll admit to being somewhat impressed by "Better." I'm not saying it's good, but I can't help but be amused to listen to it.

It's really slick in a "worked on in the studio for six years straight" sort of way, but that was always GNR's thing anyway. It just didn't actually take that long. But unlike classic (if you will) GNR, "Better" doesn't sound very much like the work of a band. It sounds more like it's being played by a computer.

Still, there's definitely a nostalgic appeal in hearing Axl actually go for it after such a long time. Here's hoping 2007 is the year Chinese Democracy really does happen.

• Stream "Better" via my Vox blog.

After the jump is the video for "November Rain." Don't front.

The Real World: Denver - Episode 16: Episode Summary

So tonight's the night that Brooke and Colie finally go at it. Anyone else pumped? I know I am.

The episode begins with the usual - the roomies out somewhere getting their drink on; the guys all dancing with one another, as if that's shit's normal. A liquored up Colie licks on Alex and mentions she's thinking about dropping her old bf once and for all.

Back at the house, Alex and Tyrie wrestle in a rather homoerotic fashion. Alex in particular looks pretty fucked up. Jenn takes him upstairs to bed so that he doesn't puke on the pool table and so that he doesn't bang Colie, but then he gets up and hops in the bed with Colie.

The next day, Colie and Brooke get into it over the dishes. Colie asks Brooke whether or not she left a dish on the stove or some shit. Brooke was like, "Well, you're a bitch!" Lollerskates! Then she runs up stairs to do something with her hair.

Commercial Break: Tomorrow's episode of "Juvies" will involve a young woman named Cashmere (Kashmir?). How unfortunate.

The Ways of American Love

The Fight for a Man's Rights
This is for the guys primarily, but any women reading this can feel free to chime in.

Have you ever been to the strip club on like a Tuesday and seen mad Indian guys there? Not like a big group of them, as if it was a bachelor party or some shit, but just a buncha random-ass Indian guys scattered throughout the usual assortment of middle aged cracka-ass crackas and black guys dressed as if they were rappers.

For the longest time, I just assumed this was some sort of cultural thing among Indian people, like black people going to Red Lobster, but this morning I heard an audio clip that explains everything.

Desi woman catches husband cheating [via Bomani Jones]

I don't want to give away too much about the clip, but suffice it to say that it must be awful being married to an Indian woman. I mean, I've long been aware that they're pretty much impossible to deal with in a retail situation, but apparently they aren't very good in the sack either.

(Also, I can't imagine this will do much to counter the stereotype of the slutty white woman as god's gift, though I think we all know that's more of a truism than anything else.)

Can any of my Indian readers verify this? Not that we don't already have all of the evidence we need. At any rate, I'd say the burden at this point would be on Indian woman to prove that this isn't true. If you'd like to make an example out of me, you know where I can be reached.