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The Real World: Denver - Episode 13: Episode Summary

When we left off last week, about half the group had arrived at camp to continue training, while the rest of the group - Brooke, Davis, and Stephen - stayed at home to convalesce (read drink in the hot tub).

I'm not sure what their training has to do with Hurricane Katrina - or anything, for that matter - but it looks fairly difficult. They have to carry packs they weigh just shy of 50 lbs, climb over big rocks, and hardly have any water to drink. At one point though, they do get to ass slide on some ice.

Learning the hard way

News You Can Use
I wasn't aware of this (I'm a guy, plus I've got way more than three hundred dollars - that's right, ladies!), but a woman can give herself the fabled DIY abortion just by taking some ulcer medication called Cytotec. Only thing is, you have to take just the right amount at just the right time or else it doesn't work - the baby will still be born, but it'll just be all fucked up.

18 year-old Amber Abreu found that out the hard way. Too embarrassed to tell her mother, who had already paid for her first abortion, that she was pregnant again, she copped a few Cytotec pills from one of her slutty friends. But she took too few of them, and the baby just ended up being born way premature. Then it died four days later. Now she could face homicide charges.

Bol Says: Shit like this is why I advocate for state funded abortions for the unfit.

JAY-Z'S IN BED WITH THE NAZIS

You'll recall that Jay-Z is the black cosigner of the group that owns the New Jersey Nets, led by billionaire financier Bruce Ratner. They're planning on moving the team from wherever it is in New Jersey to a new stadium in Jay-Z's hometown of Brooklyn. The other day, it was announced that a British bank named Barclays would pay $400 million dollars for the naming rights to the stadium.

As it turns out, this Barclays has somehow managed to be involved in damn near every great crime that's happened in the past few hundred years (other than the necessary eradication of the Native American Indians). This story in some shit called The Brooklyn Paper links them to everything from the slave trade, to the Holocaust, to Apartheid in South Africa, which is especially ironic when you consider that the two main figures in this deal are a black guy and a Jew. Damn.

Bol Says: Why not just name the place for Josef Mengele and be done with it?

BRANDY'S ABOUT TO BE BROKE

Last week, I brought you the story of how Brandy accidentally killed somebody in a huge freeway pile-up on the way to have her little brother Ray J's electricity turned back on. I figured she might get away with a few hundred thousand in an out of court settlement, since Matthew Broderick once killed way more than two people and only had to pay to have the glass put back in a phone booth.

But it turns out Brandy might not be nearly as lucky. The family of the poor bastard she killed is suing her ass for $50 million. Yikes! I doubt she has anywhere near that, but whatever she's got, she'd better hurry up and sign that shit over to Ray J or something.

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Not to turn this into video ho week (even though that wouldn't be a bad idea), but after the jump is the new clip for Teh Ghey and Kanye's "Wouldn't Get Far." I can't say I was involved with it, but I'm pretty damn proud of it none the less.

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Some Loud Thunder: Album Review

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Some Loud Thunder (None, 2007)
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah's eponymous 2005 debut (but what was it called?) was one of the better albums that came out in 2005. For this much anticipated (among a few thousand indie rock fans) follow-up, they've gone and enlisted a producer who's worked with the Flaming Lips.

Ruh roh?

• Clap Your Hands Say Yeah @ MySpace

The king of finger bang

Vida Guerra would be the hottest chick evar, if she wasn't like 4'11". (We just wouldn't look right together.) Still, given the chance to put my hands on her, I'd drop pretty much whatever I was doing, even if it was cradling my first born.

At a recent party at Jamie Foxx's house, rapper The Game had a chance to do just that. In fact, he didn't just put his hands on her - he "went in," so to speak. smartenupnas.com a/k/a "the voice of the hood" (*chuckles tentatively*) has the audio.

After the jump is a video I came across while putting together this post. For research purposes.

That's just my baby's daddy

Choose and Lose '08
Of all of the issues that will come up in next year's presidential election few will be as important as the candidates various spouses. And with good reason: as the saying goes, you can tell a lot about a man by the company he keeps.

One of the main things the Bush Administration has been successful at is keeping Laura "Pickles" Bush out of the spotlight. Every once in a while you might see her getting off of Air Force One or walking across the White House lawn, but that's about it.

Hence you'd never know that she used to deal weed when she was in college, that she once killed somebody, or that she smokes squares in the White House - all of which, I'll have you know, are true.

Of course it's much more difficult when your wife's flaws are right out there in the open, which is the case with John Edwards. During the last election, I remember people would wonder: how could a man become a multi-millionaire trial lawyer, get elected to the Senate, finally be selected to run for Vice President, and still not be able to keep his wife in decent shape?

Obviously these people have failed to consider the sheer force of a woman's ego. Let's face it: John Edwards is a much better man than the vast majority of us, and even he's at a loss. There really is no hope for any of us.

The situation is obviously different with Hillary Clinton, since she's the one running for president. Some have suggested that the fact that she was able to stand by Bill when he was getting his knob shined left and right is a sign of personal strength, but you have to wonder: how come she wasn't the down on her knees that entire time? If Hillary Clinton can't take care of her own family, why should we trust her to take care of the entire country?

To date, we don't know too much about Barack Obama's wife Michelle. Obviously it was a stroke of genius on his part, at least politically, that he went and got him an actual black woman, since his own racial identity is pretty damn questionable. But of course that can also be a liability. We already know she likes to refer to him as "my baby's daddy." How long until Karl Rove or somebody figures out that there's an actual song called "My Baby's Daddy?" We could be hearing that shit all next year.

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New season of Road Rules tonight! Check the trailer after the jump. After that is the top video on Google Video right now. I haven't been able to stop watching it. You'll see why.

Sean Price - Jesus Price Supastar: Album Review

Sean Price, Jesus Price Supastar (Duck Down, 2007)
Back in the 1990s, Sean Price was one half of the group Heltah Skeltah, which put out the the pretty damn good Nocturnal. I'm not sure what he did in the interim, but of all those Boot Camp Clik meets 9th Wonder would-be comeback albums from a couple of years ago, Sean Price's was easily the most listenable. Will this new one be even better?

• Sean Price @ MySpace

Red Lobster is the best black restaurant

According to Last Week's Poll
First of all, to save one of you d-bags the hassle of pointing this out: Red Lobster isn't a black restaurant in the sense that it's "black owned and operated" a la Magic Johnson's Burger King or some such. It can, however, be argued that black people own going to Red Lobster in the sense that we stay up in that bitch.

In fact, Red Lobster was the runaway winner in last week's poll.

The results:

Best black restaurant?

1. Red Lobster (160 votes)
2. Sizzler (67 votes)
3. Applebees (54 votes)
4. Outback (54 votes)
5. Ruby Tuesday (31 votes)
6. Ponderosa (27 votes)
7. Houlihan's (11 votes)
8. Longhorn (10 votes)

Admittedly, I haven't been to a Red Lobster myself since the day I graduated from college, but that has more to do with the fact that I don't live in the kind of area that would have a Red Lobster than anything else.

Granted, I've been to better seafood restaurants than Red Lobster, but they also cost way more. At some of these places, you might get a weak-ass plate of fish for more than you'd pay for all you can eat crab legs at Red Lobster, which is just wrong.

Having only been out to Cali once or twice in my life, I can't claim to be too familiar with Sizzler. I'm only aware of the reputation, as well as its being mentioned in the classic, ever-prescient White Men Can't Jump. Is Sizzler really all that?

I was kinda surprised, but not really, to see that Outback tied with Applebees for third place. I think Outback might be a little bit better in general than Applebees, but Applebees will melt cheese on top of pretty much anything, which counts for a lot.

Barack Obama: A Pimp from Way Back

First of all, and I want credit if I'm the first one to point this out: We know that Barack Obama smokes squares, but does anyone know whether or not he smokes menthols? If not, that could be yet another PR issue in the black community...

I'd say this picture is definitely helping his cause though. That's a young Barack Obama, then known as Barry Obama (kinda like Barry White, huh?) the year he graduated from high school. It's hard to tell in such a small photo, but that may be a mushroom pattern on his collar.

(If you look closely, you may even be able to see a little coke dripping from his nose a la Neil Young in The Last Waltz.)

You'll recall that last week, after Obama all but announced he was going to run, I wondered what his campaign had up its sleeve to prove that he's really black. I figured they might have that wife of his go off on somebody, but this is even better.

I mean, what better way to show someone's really black than to unearth a picture of them with an afro (from the Latin root African, meaning from Africa) and shirt with a funny-looking collar? Yeah, I'd say this was a good move on their part.

My only fear is that the Republicans may try to capitalize on this themselves by pointing out the similarities between Barack Obama circa 1979 and The Juice back when he used to play for Buffalo. (They do kinda look the same, don't they?)

More so than anything else, that could be bad news for Barack Obama. White people are still more pissed about OJ than they are 9/11.

Behold, the gulliest sandwich evar

McDonalds' Mega Mac: Only in Japan
I never even heard of this shit until just now, but apparently it's all the rage in Japan. They had to stop selling them because they were running out of meat. Damn.

McDonald's Japan has been forced to limit sales of its new Mega Mac hamburger to counter low stocks resulting from its huge popularity.
[...]
The Mega Mac hamburger went on sale in Japan on Jan. 12. It contains four meat patties -- twice the number of a regular Big Mac. In the first four days after it went on sale, about 3.32 million of the burgers were sold, doubling the company's expectations.

Question: Why should the Japanese get a sandwich like this before us? McDonald's is obviously with the terrorists.

Peep: McDonald's Japan limits sales of popular Mega Mac due to low stocks [MSN]

Her family's last hope

Not to belabor the point the point, but this op-ed by Ben Fong-Torres, the Oriental from the Orient who was in that movie Almost Famous, has some interesting facts about Krishtine the Saigon Whore a/k/a Pancake and "I'm From Rolling Stone."

On what she's been going around telling people:

At a hip-hop club, DeLeon tells the crowd that she's been "chosen" to be "the hyphy representative for Rolling Stone."

On the show's only requirement for its contestants:

The insider, who spoke off the record, told me that MTV cast the show, as many reality shows do, "looking for interesting-looking, interesting-behaving young people.

On her interview process:

DeLeon flirted with a musician, saying, "Any time you come to the Bay and you want to mess around with me ... I'll be like, 'Let's do this!' "

Even better though is this transcript of a live chat held the other day (damnit!) posted on the "I'm From Rolling Stone" blog.

On the kind of people she comes from:

I’m the youngest of four in my family, and they consider me to be the “last chance”, so I’m very lucky to have all their support in whatever I do.

On how she plans to trivialize Hurricane Katrina:

This country, despite its delusions of grandeur, is not as tolerant as people would like it to be, and I have no problem being an example of that. If I have to be that Hurricane Katrina to expose all the decay going on beneath America’s schizophrenic consciousness, so be it.

On why she wears her gold teeth to work:

I brought my grill on to the show very deliberately because I want people to start a dialogue about their own comfort levels of seeing someone like me in a position they want to be in. And they’ve reacted predictably: out of superficial resentment. And envy.