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June 14, 2006

The biggest steak I ever ate (nullus?)

A huge steak, nullus

Not-so-interesting fact: I'm pretty sure that the steaks they sell at grocery stores in white neighborhoods are bigger than the ones they sell at grocery stores in black neighborhoods. Has anyone else noticed this?

Since it's not like black people eat any less than white people (word to Oprah Winfrey), I can only assume that this is because black people are under the impression that they're getting a better deal by buying the smaller piece of meat, even though the store charges by weight. Black people, black people...

It's not like I purposely try to buy the biggest steak in the store everytime I go, even though that seems like a good idea come to think of it. But the other day I copped a steak from the cracka-ish grocery store I live near now and that motherfucker was way bigger than any steaks I copped in the past year, when I was living near a more ghetto version of the same store.

The steak actually caught my eye in the first place because it was just a really nice-looking piece of meat. Nullus. It was nice and pink, and it had lots of little white specks of fat you look for in a good steak. In other words, this was the Scarlett Johansson of steaks. I could hardly wait to get it home and have my way with it.

It could've been the case that I was a little bit drunk too, but it hadn't occurred to me until I got it home that this was damn near two pounds of meat. I wasn't even aware that grocery stores sold steaks that big, but now I'm kind of tempted to go back and see whether or not this was the biggest one they carry.

Probably the biggest steak I ever ordered in a restaurant was something like 24 oz., which is huge, but still a little smaller than this. I know some restaurant's carry big-ass six-pound steaks, like in the movie The Great Outdoors, as a sort of novelty, but I've never been to any. Where would you even get a six-pound steak anyway?

Anyhoo, in addition to being the biggest hunk of red meat I ever ate in one sitting (I'm sure this will be in my system for years), it was also damn good. Nullus. I can't say it was the best steak I ever ate because I cooked it myself on my shitty gas grill that I copped from my old neighbor Matthew. But it had that kind of potential.

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Byron Crawford a/k/a Bol is the celebrated author of several books, most recently NaS Lost: A Tribute to the Little Homey.

Copp dat:NaS Lost

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Posted by Bol at 08:26 PM | Permalink

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