ByronCrawford.com

K-Fed really is black (nullus)

(click image to enlarge)

This has been floating around the Internets for a minute (i.e like two days) now, but it's a Friday, and I imagine a lot of you bags haven't seen it.

What do you guys think? On the one hand, Britney Spears will never be considered hot again in her life, but on the other hand, I've seen much worse-looking pregnant women. You'd think her boobs would've gotten a lot bigger though.

After the jump are a couple more pics, including one that's a bit more, um, detailed.

SMACK: The Album, Vol. 1: Album Review

Various Artists, SMACK: The Album, Volume 1 (Koch, 2006)
I had always been meaning to check out one of these street DVDs, but for me it's not as easy as going outside and finding your nearest African with a blanket and some incense. Fortunately, the Jewish fellow that runs the venerable Koch Records had the foresight to release an issue of the infamous SMACK DVD magazine in an official version that's actually legal to buy in stores.

• DVD feature @ XXL
• SMACK @ MySpace

Shit sangwich?

Are any of you bags into the comedian Dane Cook? I'd never even heard of the guy until I read the story about him in the Times, back when his last album came out, saying he was the most popular comedian since the days of Steve Martin. Really?

I finally got a chance to check out his episoded of Saturday Night Live not this past weekend, but the weekend before. From what I understand, he did one of the longer monologues in SNL history and his episode was one of the most-watched in recent history.

I hadn't watched SNL at all since it started really sucking, and I only ended up watching maybe an hour of this episode. I notice his stand-up bit at the beginning was ripped right from last CD, which I copped not too long ago. The crowd didn't seem to give a shit though.

I actually thought the sketches he was in were a little bit funnier. They still kinda sucked balls, but I wouldn't put the blame on him. Supposedly, his cameo in the movie Waiting was pretty good, too. I'm not sure what else he's been in.

Even though it's like a month into the season, I've yet to catch an episode of Dane Cook's Tourgasm. I notice sometimes HBO will re-run Deadwood, Lucky Louie and Entourage, but then they won't rerun Tourgasm, which comes on right after them. I'm assuming the show's not that good.

***

UPDATE: For anyone that's interested, jimi izrael is back blogging.

Venus - Not treated as a human being

Akuma writes:

So Venus Williams thinks that the winner of the women's title at Wimbledon should earn the same as the men's finalist. In a quote that I have shamelessly pulled from The Guardian, she says "..it's not about getting paid.. it's about equality, it's about treating a human as a human". Quite how paying the women's winner £625,000 and the men's winner £655,000 equates with treating women as not human is quite beyond me. Additionally, her battle for 'equality' rings a little hollow when so many people in this world, men or women, struggle to get by while Venus most probably bathes in champagne and burns $100 bills for kicks. (no libel)

Additionally, women's tennis is three sets to the mens five. The men do 2/3 extra work! In fact, it's the men that are clearly being ripped off in this situation. Supposedly the top 10 women players earned 4% more than the top male players last year, mainly due to the fact that the women get such an easy ride on court that they can play more doubles sets - thereby having two chances at getting prize money at every major competition.

There are two obvious solutions to this problem which i detail below:

a. Women play five sets too and are paid the same. Drawbacks being that they'll probably get really tired, so by the last set they'll just be limping across the court, struggling to find the power to get the ball over the net.

b. Women get paid 3/5 of men's salaries, in line with their amount of work.

Simple.

Rhymefest - Blue Collar: Album Review

Rhymefest, Blue Collar (Trustfund, 2005 2006)
As I recall, this album was due to be released in late 2005, but I guess there were issues. Now it should be in stores in about two weeks. Was there ever another single released from this, or are they just expecting it to sell on the strength of that amazing video for "Brand New?"

Him and Kanye must not be cool anymore.

• Rhymefest @ MySpace

That spam email was real

Has anyone else been following the news on the renewal of the Voting Rights Act?  Nevermind whatever the fuck net neutrality is, they're trying to take away the black man's right to vote!

I remember learning a little bit about the Voting Rights Act in a freshman-level US Gov't class I took in college, which - it should be noted - I failed. Black people already had the right to vote, sort of, before 1965, but states in the South had all these ridonkulous laws that basically made it so that a lot of black people couldn't vote.

The voting rights act made it so that basically anyone, provided they're not a convicted felon or a furriner or anything, could vote. The rest, as they say, is history. Black people have been voting Democrat in 90% majorities for the past several elections. Democrats have been known to hand out packs of Newports on election day.

There was a time, a few years ago, when it was thought that the Republicans might be able to make some headway in the black community. But I'm assuming that after Florida, Ohio, New Orleans, this Sidekick bullshit and what have you, they've more or less given up on courting black voters. At this point, it'd be easier to just rescind the franchise.

Interestingly enough, I've heard stories about this in spam emails going all the way back - I think - to the late '90s. The fact that this is actually beginning to come true only further lets me know that my plan for a hip-hop-led boycott of McDonalds would actually work.

The Real World: Key West - Episode 18: Episode Summary

Like all women, Svetlana is a little bit dumb. Johnny Bananas and Zach have a brief laugh at her thinking that the Everglades is a mall and that a cat can talk, among other things. They're on their way back to the house to see how bad the damage is.

Predictably, nothing much happened other than a fence was knocked down. I mean, the pool was flooded with nasty water, but that's to be expected. We're shown brief clips of some places that got really fucked up, but it's impossible to tell where these places are in relation to the house.

Mystic Tan got kinda fucked up though. It didn't get knocked over or anything, but water got inside, and that can smell. They might have to get a new rug. Zach, the Jew that he is, wonders if he should inquire about their flood insurance, but come to find out there is no flood insurance in Florida.

It's been hinted at the past couple of episodes, but Paula Walnuts' boyfriend, the one that used to put a shoe on her is in town. As far as I'm concerned, this alleged past abuse doesn't count unless he actually goes there again. I mean, who knows what she did to him. She is crazy.

Fitzlana just so happens to be going through Tyler's diary and finds some greasy shit he wrote about her. Walnuts, who might have some sort of ulterior motive, suggest that this might be Janell going behind her back and telling these stories to Tyler.

This leads to a somewhat amusing confrontation between Fitzlana and Tyler. He catches her whining on the phone to her mom and completely hijacks the conversation, shouting so her mother can hear about how she has a tendency to make things up.

Zach catches Fitzlana crying next to a fence and takes it as an opportunity to put his hands on her legs. I can't say that I blame him. Then Janell walks out looking to start some shit with someone. Tyler probably told her that her mom referred to her as a "lowlife."

Tyler writes and angry note saying something to the effect, "I wish you stayed in Philadelphia, you silly bitch!" but Zach catches it and pulls it down before she can see it. All I can say is, he better get some tang out of this.

Come to find out, the Mystic Tan is going out of business. Now they're going on a trip of something. Jesus.

Reef the Lost Cauze - Feast or Famine: Album Review

Reef the Lost Cauze, Feast or Famine (Good Hands, 2005)
Do lots of guys in Philadelphia walk around with weird beards like that, or is this one of those cases where you have several different isolated incidents which create the appearance of a trend, when in fact there is no trend? Like, just because so many terrorists happen to be Arab doesn't mean that Arabs have a tendency to be terrorists.

I mean, obviously.

• Reef the Lost Cauze @ MySpace

Pork > fish

Nevermind What the Poll Says
First of all, beef just barely squeaked out a victory in last week's poll, edging out chicken by five votes. I'd say that seems about right. As much as I like chicken, it's best when it's fried, where as beef you can just kinda toss out on the grill.

Pork came in last behind fish, which I thought was pretty weak, but that'll have to be the topic of another post. This week more or less marks the end of the first half of 2006, which is as good a time as any time to jaw over the year's best rap albums so far. Hence the topic of next week's poll, which is up now.

Here's Bomani Jones' list:

1. TI - King
2. Busta Rhymes - The Big Bang
3. Juvenile - Reality Check
4. Ghostface - Fishscale
5. E-40 - My Ghetto Report Card

And here's About.com's list.

I don't have a list at present, but I might work on one for the end of this week or next week. It's hard to say because I've been down with the "Internets discount" for the better part of a decade now, but I've probably heard more albums at this point in 2006 than I have at this point in any other year.

So, what do you d-bags think is the best album of the year? Is there anything important missing from my poll? Nullus?

Highlights for children

This weekend, I headed up to Chicago with my little brother, Eugene, and a couple of other people to check out the Intonation Music Festival. I should do a more detailed post on it at some point, but here are a few highlights.

The line-up was kinda wack because it was heavy on Vice Records artists and there aren't very many good artists on Vice Records. Still, they made the price so low you couldn't really complain too much.

I caught most of the sets both days and my favorites were Ghostface, The Stills, Rhymefest, dead prez, and Bloc Party. There was a surprising amount of hip-hop, considering only about four black people were there. Literally.

At one point, I sat down on a bench next to some tiny, older black guy to read an issue of Vice and come to find out, said minijig was actually Wise Intelligent from the Poor Righteous Teachers. It was a weird encounter. I don't think he was enjoying the show.

The guy that does HoustonSoReal was there, but I didn't get a chance to holler at him. Supposedly, him and Devin the Dude were smoking weed behind a row of port-a-potties in the VIP section, but I couldn't get back there because I'm not important enough.

Lupe Fiasco did a set Sunday that was good, but not on the level of the rest of this weekend's hip-hop. He made it a point to announce that he rerecorded a bunch of Food and Liquor, and that the album now features guest shots from Jill Scott, Mike Shinoda (whom the crowd booed), and Jay-Z.

I ran into a couple of members of the Mindset Army at a Def Jux show Saturday night. Nullus. I forgot both of their names, but shouts out to the tall white guy in the Ghostface cap and the black guy who accused me of being into "white shit."

Speaking of which, I caught Cage and Mr. Lif at a bar not too far from where we were staying in Chicago. I had never seen either of them live before, but they put on one hell of a show. I was there to interview Lif, but he had to run right after the show. Selfish bastard.