ByronCrawford.com

T.I.: Flip-Flopper (nullus)

Yet another reason he isn't the King of the South.

T.I., a month or so ago:

"If they came here illegally, man, they might need to, you know... It seems rough, and cruel, and harsh; but to be fair to everybody, the people who trying to get over here the right way, I think they might need to be put back over there so they can, you know, find a way to get over here the right way."

T.I., a week or so ago:

"I offer my heartfelt apologies if any comments I said offended non documented immigrants in anyway. Forgive me for not being up on all sides of the issues. Everyone has the right to pursue the American dream."

Oh, so now they're "non documented" immigrants rather than illegal ones. I didn't realize the King of Southern Rap was allowed to make actual laws. And what's this bullshit about everyone has the right to pursue the American dream?

Did his label make him back off of the statements because his "personal assistant" was killed by a group of angry hispanic militants?

TI is the King of the South

Says the Results of Last Week's Poll
For a while there, TI and Ryan Adams were running neck and neck. I was hoping that Ryan Adams would hang in there just because the three albums he put out last year > T.I.'s career. Still it was an impressive showing, considering most black kids avoid country like the plague.

1. T.I. (290 votes)
2. Ryan Adams (231 votes)
3. Lil' Wayne (143 votes)
4. Young Jeezy (51 votes)

In fact, I like both Lil' Wayne and Young Jeezy's albums from last year better than I like King as well. And I laid out in a post on XXL why Young Jeezy has a much more legitimate claim to the title King of the South than T.I. Maybe it's because T.I. goes around referring to himself as the King so often he was able to pull a sort of jedi mind trick.

***

Oh, and there's a new poll up. It's very important. Vote or die.

The Real World: Key West - Episode 14: Episode Summary

So supposedly, Walnuts' boyfriend used to put the shoe on her. It's been over a year since it last happened, and now she's seeing a doctor to work on her issues. At the beginning of the episode, she wonders allowed to Bananas whether a guy can be forgiven for something like that.

Speaking of Bananas, I'm pretty sure he's had fake tan sprayed on the past couple of episodes, but he goes in again today. Dudes starting to look orange. And because the gang, including Tyler, is there, he takes the opportunity to walk out of the booth naked.

Later, Tyler complains to Walnuts that he's growing tired of Bananas' shit. She suggests that the problem may be that he's jealous that Bananas always ends up the center of attention. Also, I guess he's not big on frat boy types. No homo on even watching this shit.

So Bananas and Tyler are headed for another showdown. As I recall (I haven't been following this season very closely), there was an issue before with Bananas cracking a gay joke or some such.

Meanwhile, Walnuts' abusive boyfriend sends a box of shit, to mark the opening of Mystic Tan, including a $200 bottle of Cristal. She calls to thank him and suggests she save it for when he comes to visit the house. Ruh roh.

Svetlana was around when Tyler was going off on Bananas and went and told Bananas about it, in an attempt to stir up some shit. Tyler catches wind of this and becomes more pissed off at Svetlana than anyone else. Him and Bananas sorta kinda squash their beef.

Also, there's this thing with Walnuts' abusive boyfriend coming to town. What if dude decides to put a shoe on her again? He's not gonna be staying at the house is he? Turns out I guess he's not showing up? I'm not sure what happened with that situation.

NEXT WEEK: Zack's girlfriend enters some sort of bikini competetion.

Much ado about a hairdo

New Rule: Black women are no longer allowed to rock the dirty tennis ball look and then complain about how men don't want them.

I'm only a racist who hates women, but there's something to be said about a woman with a nice long head of hair. If black women are so concerned about trying to find a decent (i.e. well paid) man to settle down with, you wonder why they don't consider doing something with their hair.

Recently this issue was brought to light when Georgia congresswoman Cynthia McKinney attacked a Capitol Police officer because they didn't think she looked like a congresswoman and hence wouldn't let her into some building. With a head of hair like this, who can blame them?

Here's the thing: Didn't women used to wear their hair a certain way because they wanted men to like them? As far as I'm concerned, that still seems like a pretty good idea. I can't imagine that any man, unless they were secretly gay, would prefer the dirty tennis ball look.

Implicit in this idea is the fact that a woman herself can't decide what a man will find attractive. If you find that brothers aren't feeling your look, then go buy a weave or something. Otherwise, you've forfeited your right to complain.

The plight of the Mexican woman

Could Mexican women be headed towards some sort of massive health crisis? I hardly ever dealt with any of them until I started working at the current BGM, but I notice that they seem to have gotten fatter even in the last six months. That's insane.

Meanwhile, you don't see Mexican men having to take out another notch in those pro wrestling-like belts that they wear. In fact, they all seem to be about the same size (think about it). What gives?

The only explanation I could think of is that the men spend so much time sweating it out in fields and on hot roofs, while the women aren't doing much of anything other than buying trashy white people clothes at the BGM.

Mexican women don't work, right? Whenever you hear about Mexicans taking people's jobs, it's jobs that are primarily done by men - landscaping, construction, and what have you. Meanwhile, it would be rather difficult to find a job typing or answering phones without knowing any ingles.

Because there's a higher prevalence of machismo in Mexican culture, Mexican men may actually like the idea of their women not working. But this is the US, where even families with two breadwinners can hardly afford to buy a home in some places.

My concern here is twofold: A) How are Mexicans ever going to make it in this country on the single income earned by Mexican men, and B) How can Mexicans ever hope to assimilate into the American mainstream if no one wants to have sex with their women except other Mexicans?

Memorial Day '06

Busta Rhymes - The Big Bang: Album Review

[Note: This review was written by my London Bureau Chief Akuma. Also, Hashim, did you get fired from SOHH? -- Bol]

Busta Rhymes, The Big Bang (Aftermath, 2006)
First thing, a whole bunch of tracks you’d expect to be here are missing, including the Nas track ‘Rough Around the Edges’ and the Dilla banger ‘Where’s Your Money’. Here’s hoping there will be some bonus CD action in effect. With no skits or bullshit, it’s refreshingly lean (no homo) for a modern rap LP. Kaboom.

Damon Dash signs with Koch Records

I always wondered what the situation was with the Damon Dash Music Group now that the security at the Def Jam building keeps a picture of his face down in the lobby, just in case. Well as it turns out, DDtR recently signed a distribution deal for the label with the infamous Koch Records.

I have no idea who's even on the label at this point, other than ODB's corpse, but maybe he can sign Sheek Louch. Only thing is, if Sheek Louch already makes $8 an album, then he signs Damon Dash, does that mean that DDtR gets to keep some of that $8? I mean, if you're going to sign with DDtR Records/Koch, why not just sign with Koch records outright?

***

Also, did you know Damon Dash has juvenile diabetes? I didn't even know an adult could have juvenile diabetes, but I read that shit at Wikipedia, so it's got to be true.

• Damon Dash @ Wikipedia

The Heartless Bastard strikes again

Phonte from Little Brother recently granted an interview to some Internets-based publication (I copped it from his MySpace blog) and guess whose name comes up about 3/4 of the way in? That's right, bitches, Tim Berners-Lee Byron Crawford.

Checkit:

TSS: ok so you're one of ushow did you feel about the whole Byron Crawford Bun B thing

Phonte: lolololololol

TSS: this is off the record

Phonte: nah, we can keep it on the record....its all good...I look at Byron Crawford as a shockblogger.... he knows how to push people's buttons and get niggas' attention... that's his whole steez..

TSS: jea, we know that...some readers dont and, well, he got Bun's attention lol

Phonte: yeah, he didand I'm with Bun on that oneIf you're gonna criticize someone's music, then fine....but Byron implied alotta sideways shit about Pimp that I thought was outta line. I looked at it as Bun defending his brother, who was being unfairly attacked. The main thing that was on point to me was when Bun said that the South has supported NY through ALL their various forms, from the 'positive' medallion wearing 80's, to the drug lord/ illuminati/ 5% psychobabble of the 90's...

Ha!

Shout out to my man Phonte (nullus). You truly are the best MC in Little Brother.

***

My post today at XXL has some interesting facts about Biggie that you might not be aware of unless you live in the kind of neighborhood where they sell Junior Mafia DVDs.

• The Not So Wonderful World of Cease-A-Leo

The most conservative rock song of all time

Here's a list of the 50 most conservative rock songs of all time, as published in a recent issue of National Review and now today's New York Times(?). You'll notice "Brick" by Ben Folds Five is at number 23.

Not to suggest that National Review is stealing stories from the Heartless Bastard, but I was on this Ben Folds Five story a long time ago. Back when I was in college, my campus radio station would play commercials from this place called the Lifeline Pregnancy Resource Center that had "Brick" playing in the background.

The LPRC is one of these places that attempts to "counsel" slutty college girls out of getting an abortion by giving them a free package of diapers. And if that doesn't work, they show you some grisly, drivers ed-style video of a woman dying from a botched abortion.

Interestingly enough, if you visit their website, there's a prominently placed photo of two black kids. Hmm... As I've mentioned before, the town where I went to college wasn't exactly Harlem.

In interviews[1], Folds would make it a point to portray the song as being ambivalent about the choice issue; he wasn't making any kind of statement, just relaying an experience. Given the fact that this has been his only real hit to date, don't you think he'd be concerned with it being hijacked by some wacky midwestern abortion nazis?

I'm left with no other choice than to take his failure to sue the LPRC into oblivion as a tacit approval of their agenda.

[1] Does anyone else remember that interview on MTV News where some radio DJ asked Ben Folds Five whose girlfriend it was that got the abortion? Man, those were the days.