Least Tragic Hip-Hop Deaths

The least tragic deaths in the history of hip-hop, in order of... um, how un-tragic they were.

Buffy. The really fat guy (more so than the other ones) from the Fat Boys, who liked his women like he liked his coffee: young. Did you know he actually died while rapping? It's true.

DJ Screw. Getting high on cough syrup? Serves him right. Furthermore, slowing down rap music (or any kind of music) shouldn't count as an important musical innovation.

Left Eye. Not to sound insensitive, but you know the other two members of TLC were secretly glad to see her go. I mean, what did she do, anyway?

Chip Banks. A member of Raekwon's weed carrier group American Cream Team, which was sort of like Ghostface's weed carrier group Theodore Unit, but with more awful. A lot more.

E Money Bags. Does anybody know if this guy was an actual rapper, or if the cops just assumed he was a rapper because he got shot?

Marlon Brando. From what I understand, this guy died trying to save a young kid from being hit by a car. Priorities, people. And the Sporty Thievz sucked anyway.

Yusef Afloat. I have no idea what happened to this guy, but the details surrounding his death suggest to me that he was a clucker. Also, it had already been a good five years since the last time he had a hit (relatively speaking).

Slang Ton. The dead member of the Outsidaz, who used to carry for the Fugees back in the day.

Freaky Tah. Don't get me wrong. The Lost Boyz were the shit. Sort of. But this dude wasn't really a rapper anyway. The group could've gone on perfectly well without him.

2Pac. Granted, 2Pac is arguably the most talented rapper on this list, but you have to admit the dude was cruising for a bruising. Shooting at cops, butt-raping chicks, pretending to be a gang banger; it was only a matter of time.